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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2009

    Unhappy Protecting Myself from Being Accused

    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: NC

    There is a small possibility that my mentally unstable (undiagnosed) mother in law may fabricate a lie to get our children taken away from her son and me. We think she has Borderline Personality Disorder and is NOT happy that we did not let her come by our house one Sunday because she was being emotionally destructive. Our children are young and we didn't want them to see her acting like she was. It was BAD...

    In the past, she's made mentions that if my husband or I got into trouble, she'd want the children to come stay with her and my father in law. The kicker is that they were previously licensed foster parents here in NC, so I have no doubt that she could convince ANYONE to let them stay with her.

    She has NEVER liked me, but I truly have never done anything to provoke it...unless not allowing her to control our family is a reason. It's all part of the personality disorder. There is no truth in anything she could cook up. We're not perfect, but we love our children, take excellent care of them and would never, ever do anything to harm them...EVER! I don't even know what she might say, but I can't put anything past her at this point. Her behavior is erratic...her husband doesn't know from day to day if she'll even be there when he gets home from work.

    Anyway, I was wondering if there was anything we could do to prevent our children from being taken away if she did decide to "make good" on these thoughts. We do have plans to move out of state, which should help because she knows she would not be able to get the children from another state. I know she would not want them to go into foster care unless it was her home.

    Sick and twisted, I know. Believe me, this is just a small piece if an ever growing messed up puzzle, but this is a huge concern for me. I don't know what the children would do if this happened. They are all so close and doubt they'd get over something like this very easily.

    Thank you for taking time to read this...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Toledo, OH

    Default Re: Protecting Myself from Being Accused

    Firstly, she doesn't have any rights to your children at all. None. Zero. Know and trust in this. Legally, she is nobody to them.

    Secondly, CPS doesn't just sneak into your house in the middle of the night and steal your children just because some whackaloon has called in to squall that you're not raising them in the way she wants you to.

    If a complaint is made, they first come to visit, then there is an investigation, and unless it's obvious the children are in danger, they stay put.

    (I've been the victim of malicious false reports, so I've been there, done that, and bought the hand engraved frying pan to beat up the evil neighbors with. I promise, if your kids are healthy, happy, and not being abused, the social workers will apologize and go on their merry way.)

    There are no preventative measures you can take. Just keep taking care of your kids as you see fit, and try not to borrow any trouble. Being a parent is stressful enough without leaping over the line into fear of "what if".

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2008

    Default Re: Protecting Myself from Being Accused

    I understand the consern however if your house is in order and the kids are fine even if you land a bad social worker they wouldn't remove the kids. I have had false reports too and have had to work a safety plan until they realize that the alligations aren't true but the kids didn't get removed. If she reports sexual abuse they could very well be removed and she would be considered as a realitive placement, becuase in those situations they seem to jump first and ask questions later. Moving would probably be a good idea though not just for the cps issue but somebody that is like that you don't want to be around too much.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2009

    Default Re: Protecting Myself from Being Accused

    For your defense, I would get some type of restraining order. and just for the simple reason you think she has a disorder, and she gets upset that you won't allow her step foot inside of your house. At least if she does try to stoop that low and call CPS, you will have a defense too. And who cares if she used to be a foster parent. Some foster parents are known to be abusive and unstable themselves.

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