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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Washington
    Posts
    4

    Default Is this abandonment?

    My question is whether the following scenario constitutes "marital abandonment":

    My mother is a 71-year-old woman who purchased a 2nd residence in a state other than her 1st residence. She lives in her 2nd residence 6-8 months per year to get away from the cold or snowy season in the state where her 1st residence is. My father (her husband) is 83 years old and continues to live in the 1st residence throughout the year.

    My mother bought the 2nd residence after landing in the hospital 3 winters in a row with severe bronchitis and pneumonia exacerbated by the cold and subsequent dry air heat from the gas furnace. She has claimed residency in her 2nd state for tax purposes. My father did not want to move out of state because everybody he knows is in his first state and he wholly rejects the idea of going anywhere else. In addition, he is in a wheelchair due to a muscular condition but he is completly alert and very independent (and stubborn).

    My mother spends late spring and summer at her 1st residence with my father, during which time she keeps house, organizes, and packs the freezer with food she prepares for him. She has arranged for an assistant to come weekly to carry on these activities in her absence. She and my father speak on the phone several time per week.

    Is this abandonment in the legal sense?

    Thank you

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Abandonment of a Spouse

    This arrangement was mutually agreeable to the parties? How long have they been following the arrangement you describe?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Washington
    Posts
    4

    Default

    Yes, it was mutually agreeable to both parties in the sense that when my mother made the decision to find a warmer place in the winter, she discussed it with my father and told him he was welcome to come. But she bought her 2nd residence with her own money because my father did not agree to the idea of purchasing a 2nd residence with money from his accounts.

    My mother purchased her 2nd residence 2 years ago. This is her 2nd winter in her winter residence (which is in the same state as my residence).

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Abandonment of Spouse

    If this has continued for two years, even with grudging acceptance from the stationary spouse, why is the issue of abandonment coming up?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Washington
    Posts
    4

    Default

    I am concerned that bandonnment may be an issue if they end up divorcing. Here is what is happening:

    My father started talking about selling their house last spring. At first, my mother didn't like this idea because she wanted to keep her first residence to live in over the summer and because half her life is there. However, the property is rather sizeable to keep up (3 acres), there are flooding issues in the lower floor, and my father absolutely refuses to put ANY money into maintaining or repairing the issues. But my father was considering going into assisted living, so my mother was willing to do whatever he wanted to ensure that he was comfortable.

    Over the months and after looking at several assisted living facilities, my father has decided that he does NOT want to go into one of these facilities, but now he is thinking of moving into the house of his recently deceased friend's widow, and we assume he will contribute to or even take over expenses.

    My mother does not know yet about this new plan to move into the house of his friend's widow, but she is sure to dislike this plan entirely. If she agrees to sell the house, she will still want to be able to return to Michigan and to visit my father, but she will not do so if she is to be a guest in this woman's house. My sister and I are concerned about her legal rights. Maybe abandonment is not the issue, but we don't know what advice to give her about what she should be concerned about when we tell her about this new plan of my father's.

    thank you

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default

    Your father needs assistance in his living, but doesn't want to go to an assisted living facility and hopes this arrangement with the widow will somehow permit him to live independently? But he knows your mother would object, find it unacceptable, and refuse to go along with it? It seems to me that he needs to think about a living arrangement that is acceptable to your mother, even if that also means it is somewhat less acceptable to him. They've been married for a long time, so I assume this won't be the first time he's had to compromise.

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