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  1. #1

    Default Stepson is a Danger and Needs to Go

    I married my spouse and have raised my 18 yr. stepson since he was very young. We also had children together after we married.

    I have always suspected that my stepson suffered from a form of mental illness that causes a lack of rationale, violent temper tantrums and generally subversive behavior, such as destroying property of the other children, bullying, physical violence and threatening behavior.

    Recently, we discovered he had been stashing alchohol in his room in our rented home in NJ. This is potentially dangerous for our other children. My spouse constantly makes excuses for him, downplays his behavior and will not support me in getting him professional help and asserting that he behave respectfully and abide by our rules.

    I've called the police before and because my spouse and I do not agree, they just leave and tell us we need to get on the same page.

    He is working and it's time for him to go. Please tell me what my options are, especially with my spouse and I not in agreement regarding this. I fear for the safety of the household. Things are worsening as they all get older and the other children begin to resent him more and fight back.

    Changing the locks won't work. My spouse will eventually give him a key.

    I have read that I can request a restraining order. Where and how do I do this? What are the implications for him? Does it go into effect immediately and will that keep him away from the house?

    I have also read that I can issue him an eviction notice. Where and how do I do this? How soon can I have this go into effect?

    Thank you in advance.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: Stepson is a Danger and Needs to Go

    As the stepmother, you are a legal stranger to the child.

    Any decisions made about his treatment or medical condition are not yours to make.

    The chances of you obtaining a restraining order on a stepson that the father wishes to remain in the house are slim.

    The chances of you being able to evict a stepson that the father wishes to remain in the house are slim.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    2,031

    Default Re: Stepson is a Danger and Needs to Go

    Quote Quoting cyjeff
    View Post
    As the stepmother, you are a legal stranger to the child.

    Any decisions made about his treatment or medical condition are not yours to make.

    The chances of you obtaining a restraining order on a stepson that the father wishes to remain in the house are slim.

    The chances of you being able to evict a stepson that the father wishes to remain in the house are slim.
    Just to add to this:

    You can always get a divorce. That is your best option.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Stepson is a Danger and Needs to Go

    Divorce is not desirable as we have other younger children that we parent. If I were to get the eviction notice and/or restraining order, would my spouse then have to appeal for it to be undone?

  5. #5

    Default Re: Stepson is a Danger and Needs to Go

    Also, won't they take the testimonies of the other children into account, given the abuse and his behavior?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: Stepson is a Danger and Needs to Go

    Quote Quoting at-the-end-of-rope
    View Post
    Divorce is not desirable as we have other younger children that we parent. If I were to get the eviction notice and/or restraining order, would my spouse then have to appeal for it to be undone?
    The chances of you obtaining a restraining order on a stepson that the father wishes to remain in the house are slim.

    The chances of you being able to evict a stepson that the father wishes to remain in the house are slim.

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