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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    3

    Default Restraing Order Filed Against Me by Child Grandparent

    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: california

    The background-
    I am a 25 yr old male and my 35 year old girlfriend had a baby a little over a week ago. I have signed the birthcertifacte papers and acknowledgement of paternity papers the morning after her birth. My girlfriend does not live with me but at a studio apt on her parents property.

    The problem-
    My girlfriends mother is currently trying to get a restraining order against me. I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 years and have not had any types of problems with her mother. Then after my child was born she is trying to get one against me because I had asked her and her husband to leave the room during labor due to my girlfriends pain during it. My girlfriend and I talked about what she wanted during her labor beforehand and agreed that It would be just her and I during the labor/delivery. My girlfriends father had no problems with leaving the room as he understood what was going on. Her mother on the other hand became irrate after leaving. Her mother threaten to tow my truck off there property, threaten to call the police if I went to visit my girlfriend, is in the process of filing a restraining order, and has given her daughter an ultimatium of either choosing her or me. She has been told if she chooses me then she is not going to help her daughter or the baby, cut her daughter out of her will, and fire her from her job. Is there any merit for her getting a restraining order against me? I have not done any acts of violence, verbal abuse, or given her any reason to be afraid of me. Everyone else on my girlfriends side of the family agrees that she is acting irrational. Is anything that my girlfriends mother said to my girlfriend or me considered mental abuse? Or blackmail? Will a judge side with my girlfriends mother? Or will a judge see that she is acting irrational and not grant it to her? Any reply would help. Im just a hard working father who is trying to be with my girlfriend and my baby.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Restraing Order Filed Against Me by Child Grandparent

    Quote Quoting dustin617
    View Post
    My question involves restraining orders in the State of: california

    The background-
    I am a 25 yr old male and my 35 year old girlfriend had a baby a little over a week ago. I have signed the birthcertifacte papers and acknowledgement of paternity papers the morning after her birth. My girlfriend does not live with me but at a studio apt on her parents property.

    The problem-
    My girlfriends mother is currently trying to get a restraining order against me. I have been dating my girlfriend for 3 years and have not had any types of problems with her mother. Then after my child was born she is trying to get one against me because I had asked her and her husband to leave the room during labor due to my girlfriends pain during it. My girlfriend and I talked about what she wanted during her labor beforehand and agreed that It would be just her and I during the labor/delivery.
    Did she bother to have this conversation with her mother?

    My girlfriends father had no problems with leaving the room as he understood what was going on. Her mother on the other hand became irrate after leaving. Her mother threaten to tow my truck off there property,
    Might happen, it's her property.

    threaten to call the police if I went to visit my girlfriend,
    Fine, let her call. Police will be more than happy to explain how life works now that her daughter is an adult.


    is in the process of filing a restraining order,
    Take your GF with you to the hearing - that should be the end of that.


    and has given her daughter an ultimatium of either choosing her or me.
    Not right, and not fair, but ultimately your GF is gonna have to make a decision or you're gonna have to deal with this psycho and spend your time looking over your shoulder. The process of leaving parents behind to start a new family is about as basic as it gets in the course of human lifespan development.


    She has been told if she chooses me then she is not going to help her daughter or the baby,
    Good, that's your job as the daddy now anyway.

    cut her daughter out of her will,
    Bummer, but surviveable.

    and fire her from her job.
    Are we seeing a pattern here? Time for GF to do some serious growing up and cutting some apron strings. She's a mommy now and it's nowhere near a healthy dynamic to allow her mother to continue to run her life for her. Life is all about growing up and moving on, and it's high time.

    Is there any merit for her getting a restraining order against me?
    One wouldn't think so, but then we have no way of knowing how far she'll go to get what she wants. Control freaks like this can be wildly unpredictable.

    I have not done any acts of violence, verbal abuse, or given her any reason to be afraid of me.
    Sure you have - in her mind. You've impregnanted her daughter and left her for family to take care of; never a good way to get into a parent's good graces. If you were providing a home and making a committment to being a family, you might get different reaction from mom. But right now, mom only sees you as the bastard who knocked up her daughter (and your GF isn't helping matters).

    Everyone else on my girlfriends side of the family agrees that she is acting irrational. Is anything that my girlfriends mother said to my girlfriend or me considered mental abuse?
    Maybe, but so what? Most mental abuse isn't illegal.

    Or blackmail?
    Nope.

    Will a judge side with my girlfriends mother? Or will a judge see that she is acting irrational and not grant it to her?
    My crystal ball is out of service, but as noted, it'll depend on what mom says. Overall, the judge is pretty likely to tell her to butt out.

    Any reply would help. Im just a hard working father who is trying to be with my girlfriend and my baby.
    Then how about the two of you growing up, getting married, and creating a life together where GF's mom isn't in the picture?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Restraing Order Filed Against Me by Child Grandparent

    Thanks for the reply. I am helping pay for the medical bills and helping her, I am in the middle of getting moved in to my new place this week and have already had the discussion about her moving in with me and marrige, but of course her mom gave her the ultimatiom after she told her about that. Yes she did have the conversation with her mother about the delivery room. Anyway thanks for the reply again, I am doing everything I can to get my family started.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: Restraing Order Filed Against Me by Child Grandparent

    It wasn't said, but may I also assume that your girlfriend LIVES with mom and dad?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Restraing Order Filed Against Me by Child Grandparent

    No ,she lives on the property but not in her parents house.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: Restraing Order Filed Against Me by Child Grandparent

    Close enough.

    Then, when you visit your girlfriend or your child, you go to THEIR land to do it.

    Why doesn't your girlfriend and child visit YOU?

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