My question involves criminal law for the state of: Maryland.
My boyfriend and I got into a fight this past weekend at home. We've been together for 4 years this past October, and lived together for about 3 and a half years. There have been one or two small fights in the past, but physically, no more than a couple of open-handed slaps from both of us, and then one of us would leave the house to end the fight. But this time it got really ugly. There was arguing, screaming, yelling, name-calling, slapping, punching, and kicking (from both of us). Towards the end of the fight, he called the cops as I was screaming at the top of my lungs for him to get out. I felt myself losing control, and I knew I might lose it before the cops got there, so I left and went to my mother's house. When I got there, I checked in the mirror, and I had 2 bruises - one small, faint bruise on my right cheek/jawline, where he had socked me, and the second was a red mark that looked like a rash across the front of my right shoulder. My jaw didn't hurt, but it hurt to rotate my shoulder to get my arm into my jacket. (Both marks and the pain were gone within the next day or two.) My mother took pictures of the marks, and called the cops to her house. When the cop came, he told us that my boyfriend had already submitted a report, and he couldn't make a second report for my side of the story. He told me if I wanted to press charges, I could go to the courthouse, and I would be able to explain it there. So my mom and I went to the courthouse and pressed charges. I opted not to get a protective order because I knew he wouldn't bother me at my mom's, and I would have access to our apartment while he was at work, so it was unnecessary.
The day after the fight, he texted and called me to talk about things. He apologized multiple times, saying he didn't want to lose me, etc. And to a normal person, that would seem like the typical rope-her-back-in scenario. Except that he's always blamed me for our fights and problems in the past, and it's always me begging for forgiveness. This time, for the first time, he actually admitted he was wrong, and I could hear the pain and sincerity in his voice. He wants to go to therapy, and even anger management, so we can work through things and be happy. At first I was skeptical, guarded for fear that he was following the typical abuser patterns, but I see something there that makes me think he's serious about this. And I don't want to turn my back on that. I told him that we need to take things one day at a time. I told him that I wouldn't be moving back in anytime soon, and he will have to take action on his promises, and show me he's taking this seriously before I can begin to trust him again. But ultimately, I want to work through this too.
So last night, he turned himself in to the police. They sent him to BCDC in Towson, and set bail at $5000. He called me from the detention center to let me know what was going on, and asked me to help him post bail. I had to make a ton of phone calls to get information on what to do, where to pay, what types of payment were accepted, etc, and missed him calling me back while I was calling around. He freaked out, and called his parents instead, so they bailed him out. His father called me and told me they posted bail and let him go, but the Commissioner set a no-contact condition on the bail.
I am upset about this, because I did not ask for a protective order, so I don't know why they issued a no-contact condition. I guess maybe it's protocol for domestic violence cases, but in our situation, it really messes things up. I don't want him to go to jail. I don't want him to lose his job, or have this follow him the rest of his life. I love and care about him, and I'm scared that I've ruined everything. He must have the patience of a saint, because he's not angry at me for any of this. He told me he knows what he did was wrong, and he probably would have pressed charges too if he were in my shoes. But I just feel so guilty. I want to do anything I can to make this better for him, and hopefully save our relationship in the process.
He's been charged with second degree assault, and the court date is set around mid-March. I know I can't drop the charges, but is there anything I can do to keep him out of jail? Also, what can we expect in court if we are in contact with each other between now and then? Or is there a way to appeal to someone to have this condition lifted, given the nature of our situation? Should I seek legal advice, or just wait until the Attourney General assigns a lawyer to my case? Should he be looking for a lawyer?
(And please don't use this forum to lecture me about not going back with an abuser. I've gotten plenty of that from my friends and family. He's never done this to anyone before, and I was just as active in this fight as he was. I just happen to bruise easier, and had my mother convincing me that pressing charges was the right thing to do. I acted on impulse, and I wish I could take it back now. I'm not stupid enough to go back to the way it used to be - I've made it clear that he will have to work damn hard to show me he will never do this again. But even if things don't work out and we do break up completely, I could never forgive myself if he had to go to jail over this. I just want to make things right again.)

