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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    2

    Question Can Mental Abuse Be a Basis for Custody

    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Kentucky/Georgia

    I currently reside in Georgia and my sister(I'll call her Zoey), dad, and stepmother (also my sister's stepmother; I'll call her Maria) reside in Kentucky. Am I correct in thinking that I would need to follow Kentucky laws then if I were to do anything?

    I've asked a couple of people about this and haven't gotten much help. Most people say I can't really do anything. That may be true, but I keep asking anyways with the hope something new will pop up.

    Zoey turned 14 this December. There have been small amounts of physical abuse, but they tend to be stretched out. Mostly it's mental. For instance, Zoey didn't curl her hair according to Maria's standards, so Maria cut her hair really short (it actually looks like a mullet). Now Maria continues to threaten to shave Zoey's head if she doesn't curl that right. She makes Zoey wear guy clothes and clothes that are too big for her so that people actually think that she is a guy.

    Maria is very controlling in everything. So that if Zoey misses cleaning a spot on the toilet, she is grounded for a month or more. Essentially, there are few days when she is not actually grounded.

    Sometimes, after Maria takes a bath, she'll have Zoey take a bath in the same water she just took one in.

    I could go on and on, but it's just a lot of mental abuse. I honestly don't know how long it will be before she does something on her own like run away. I'd like to be able to remove her from that situation before she does something like that and ends up getting hurt or receiving repercusions for those actions from Maria.

    I'm willing to take care of her if possible, but I also know other older family member who would be willing to take care of her as well. If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, I'd really appreciate it.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    9,096

    Default Re: Can Mental Abuse Be a Basis for Custody

    If a child is being abused, call the Kentucky Department of Child Protective Services.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Can Mental Abuse Be a Basis for Custody

    Quote Quoting cyjeff
    View Post
    If a child is being abused, call the Kentucky Department of Child Protective Services.
    Yes, but how do you prove it? If the parents deny everything, then who's to say the child isn't making it up? And from my experiences with CPS, they tend to side with the parents.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
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    16,307

    Default Re: Can Mental Abuse Be a Basis for Custody

    Quote Quoting DreaFreya
    View Post
    Yes, but how do you prove it? If the parents deny everything, then who's to say the child isn't making it up? And from my experiences with CPS, they tend to side with the parents.
    Then you keep calling until someone pays attention.

    CPS is quite overburdened, so they're going to be paying a lot more immediate attention to the kids being duct taped to their beds and starved or beaten with tow chains than they are to the kids with bitchy step-mothers who insist on ugly clothes, crappy haircuts and dirty bathwater.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Can Mental Abuse Be a Basis for Custody

    Even if you could prove with video tape EVERYTHING you've mentioned, the unfortunate truth is that none of what you describe is going to be seen by CPS as "abuse". It can be tough to remember that not everything that makes a child unhappy, or even miserable, is abuse. Parents are allowed to be strict, they're allowed to make their children miserable, and they have no obligation to be fair, just, or even reasonable. They can make children do chores to their satisfaction. They can ground them for months, years, or until they turn 18. They can make them cut their hair in ways they don't like, and as long as the clothes they provide are functional and meeting decency standards, CPS isn't even going to blink. Parents are even allowed to physically punish, within limits. CPS cares that the children are relatively clean, that they are eating regularly, that they live in a place with running water and no human or animal feces or other immediate health hazards, that they have weather appropriate clothing to wear, that they are attending school as required by law, and that any physical discipline doesn't include elements that have or could produce physical injury.

    If any level of physical abuse occurs, it needs to be reported to authorities immediately - tell your sister to use 911 and to report any such abuse ASAP - delays in reporting mean less chance that any injury can be properly documented. Keep in mind that not all physical contact is going to be considered or investigated as abusive, but if any IS occurring, fast reporting is vital.

    The best bet for resolving any part of what you describe is to get the person involved in this parenting process who should be taking the lead: DAD! Regardless of what the evil step-mother is doing, remember that DAD is a parent in the home too - and whatever is happening is happening under HIS nose to HIS daughter. Find out if he's aware, and if he approves. If he is, and he does, then absent some documentable abuse, sis is going to be stuck until she either turns 18, or gets some change in legal guardianship.

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