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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    5

    Default Can I Sue My Husband's Paramour?

    there is this girl who was after my husband for 3,4 years for money and other means..i have seen plenty of emails from her trying to turn him towards him though he confessed to her that he is married and not interested in any relation..she used to tell stories about her poverty and how she is taking the burden her entire family..and tried to cry with him and try to shoulder on him..she used to say if not him, she would not have lived on this earth blah blah..i was so angry at him initially after this entire story was broken out..but after reading through all the emails (he has thousands of emails..for gods sake he kept them all) which i have gone through, even i felt sorry for my husband..he was gone through emotional blackmailing in entire period..every time he goes back on the relation, she would blackmail him of taking suicide or sort of..he tried to bail out her by sending money to her and also brought her to USA with his own expenses...she would always say, as soon as she comes to USA, she would repay his generosity, and pay his loans..there are emails to support her assurances..she used to say, whatever salary she will get in USA, she gives away all the salary to him barring her expenses..several times she maintained that he is the only person in her heart and she will never marry any one in her entire life..etc..

    he gave her lot of money, he has proofs for some, doesn't have proofs for some..as soon as she came to USA, she accepted an arranged marriage and decided to leave him..by that time he has spent more than 30k for her hoping that she will repay that some day..when she accepted her marriage with some one and decided to leave him for good, he cried with her and asked her how can he pay off the loans that he made for her and confronted her why she gave false promises and assurances..instead of offering anything, all that she did is to provoke him to have a physical relation with her..it seems in that emotional period he ended up having relation with her..whenever he asked for the money, it seems she tried to console him by offering physical relationship..and continued taking help from him..afraid that if he breaks the relationship, she will never pay back, he continued relationship and continued paying more money for her needs..i figured out it from his diary (that is when i came to know about the relation first) that fear of losing money made him to continue to be in touch with her..and i saw her emails wrote to my husband where she said, even though she is married, she is still emotionally involved with my husband only and she loves only one person that is my husband blah..blah..

    after i came to know about this relation and we had biggest fight in our married life..i didn't know at that time that, this lady is ruing us financially too..after he explained all this and showed the proofs i am kind of convinced about the entire issue and forgave him for the sake of my kids..my only condition in our rapprochement is to bring her to the justice...

    long story short..once she got job with the help of my husband..she brought her husband next month..and changed her phone number..changed her email ids and stopped any communication with my husband..

    now my husband is in worst health condition due to this..and not able to perform his duties fully at his job..got into lots mental disturbance..and in a bankrupt situation..all our credit cards APRs went to the max..credit score went to lowest..not able to pay the monthly bills..in the worst situation in every way..

    he has all the email communications, intimate pics, videos, voice recordings and so..for gods sake, he has these evidences at least...he tried to reach her husband to tell him and explain him about their entire relationship but she cut him off too..obviously, she don't want her husband to know about her previous relationship..and maintaining as if she was virgin when she married him. If ever her husband knows about this relationship, he will definitely desert her..that is how the customs of the culture where she came from..I want her husband to know about this relationship or I want her to pay off the entire money to us..

    she is the one who ruined my and my kids future..off course my husband too..but as i said i more convinced and understood his dilemma for all this period..and i forgive him now for the sake of my kids..i want to take a legal action against her..and also i want her husband to know and understand about this relation fully..but i want to proceed through only the legal proceedings..how would i do..and how can i get free legal help in my situation..

    I live in Kansas State..

    please advise..i am so desperate..kindly help me..

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    Toledo, OH
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    Default Re: Can I Sue My Husband's Paramour?

    Kansas does not have alienation of affection statutes under which you could sue.

    I do not mean to sound unkind, but this woman is not the sole source of your difficulties.

    Your husband gave her the money of his own free will. With e-mail supporting your contention that he only loaned her the money, HE may be able to sue her for breach of contract.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    5

    Default Re: Can I Sue My Husband's Paramour?

    I want to get an opportunity to show and prove in the court that my husband and she does have physical relationship. This is more than enough to scare her to come back and pay the money because she definitely does not want her husband to know about the relation. She is of the opinion that there is no evidence left with my husband, but infact there are tonnes of evidences.

    Please suggest me the best way to put her on spot and recover our money.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Can I Sue My Husband's Paramour?

    Quote Quoting mincynail
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    I want to get an opportunity to show and prove in the court that my husband and she does have physical relationship.
    Why? It won't have any legal bearing, as you were just told above.


    This is more than enough to scare her to come back
    If you don't want her to come back, then your husband needs to be asking for a restraining order.

    and pay the money because she definitely does not want her husband to know about the relation. She is of the opinion that there is no evidence left with my husband, but infact there are tonnes of evidences.
    Use of blackmail can result in criminal charges against YOU.

    Please suggest me the best way to put her on spot and recover our money.
    Your husband will need to take her to court, prove that the money he gave her was a loan that she agreed to repay, and ask the court to order that she repay the money.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    Default Re: Can I Sue My Husband's Paramour?

    Quote Quoting aardvarc
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    Why? It won't have any legal bearing, as you were just told above.




    If you don't want her to come back, then your husband needs to be asking for a restraining order.



    Use of blackmail can result in criminal charges against YOU.



    Your husband will need to take her to court, prove that the money he gave her was a loan that she agreed to repay, and ask the court to order that she repay the money.
    i meant to say, if she is afraid of her relationship with my husband will be proved in the court, she will come back and pay our money. i dont want to blackmail either. but i want her to know that her relationship will be discussed and proven in the court of law. thats the best option which can scare her and pay off the amount. i want to take action only through the court, but want to find the way to make her understand that court will discuss about her relationship with my husband so that she will not escape further and pay off the amount. you need to understand in terms of human grounds. myself and my kids are on the road now because of her selfish interests. you may blame my husband, but what anyone can do if other person tells him that without him she can not live, and threaten to die every time he backtracks? he was blackmailed emotionally and also trusted her. do you think a deliberate cheaters like these should not taught a lesson? i know there is no place for emotional arguments in the court. But all that i want is she needs to be taught a lesson for the cheating, and misuse of trust she has done with my family and needs to pay for her deeds. i want to go through only the legal process but i want to know what is the best way to bring her relationship with husband to be brought up and discussed in the court legally.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    5

    Default Re: Can I Sue My Husband's Paramour?

    Lets say, I have several emails from her where she said there is no other relation with my husband other than just a friend. Can I file a case against her using those emails to prove that she deliberately lied to me despite having relation with my husband?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
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    Toledo, OH
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    Default Re: Can I Sue My Husband's Paramour?

    Quote Quoting mincynail
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    Lets say, I have several emails from her where she said there is no other relation with my husband other than just a friend. Can I file a case against her using those emails to prove that she deliberately lied to me despite having relation with my husband?
    No, because as you have already been told, Kansas does not permit alienation of affection suits. It's not illegal to lie to the wife of the man you're sleeping with about whether or not you're sleeping with him.

    The only thing you have grounds to sue for, besides the return of the money that your husband gave her, is divorce.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    9,096

    Default Re: Can I Sue My Husband's Paramour?

    Let me try...

    Stop it.

    You cannot use the courts to punish this woman from having a consensual relationship with your husband.

    She does not, legally, have to EVER admit to you that she had this relationship. It is not illegal to lie about whom you have slept with... after all, most folks don't admit everything to their news spous when married, right?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Ohio
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    2,006

    Default Re: Can I Sue My Husband's Paramour?

    I suggest that you seek professional help. You've been dooped both emotionally and financially and your willing to accept it for the sake of your children. You cant sue for alienation of affection in your state. This is where the acceptence comes in, your going to have to accept that this is how it's worked out for you. Your recourse is as stated above, divorce.

    If your HUSBAND sues, its going to be difficult for ALL parties involved. It's going to turn into a loan/gift arguement. It will also be very difficult for he to keep this from her husband.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    5

    Default Re: Can I Sue My Husband's Paramour?

    Quote Quoting gigirle
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    If your HUSBAND sues, its going to be difficult for ALL parties involved. It's going to turn into a loan/gift arguement. It will also be very difficult for he to keep this from her husband.
    This is all I need. My husband doesn't need to keep it off from her husband. That guy needs to know. So if my husband sues, which he is willing to, irrespective of the outcome, that brings up the whole relation into discussion. This is what I want to do legally.

    Thank you all for your advise.

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