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  1. #1

    Default Stepparents and Schools

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan

    My first wife (and mom of my 4 kids) died several years ago. I remarried 3 years ago and my wife has been a great mom to my kids. Two years ago I signed documents with the school and doctors allowing her to act as legal guardian on all issues. There was never a problem until the school violated one of the kids' Special Ed IEPs this year. Documents started disappearing from the school's files and the teachers didn't like that my wife was documenting everything in emails. They call meetings during the day when they know I can't be there because of the kind of work I do. So only my wife can attend. She documents everything because of the problems we've had.

    Suddenly I got a voice mail (not even a letter...remember they don't like things in writing!) from the middle school principal telling me that he "did some research" and found that my wife isn't the kids' "legal guardian" and so they won't talk to her anymore and don't want her emailing anything to anyone or being copied on any more emails. They did this just a couple of hours before parent-teacher conferences, knowing I couldn't be there, so none of us could even go to the school to discuss how the kids are doing.

    What's under all of this is that the director of Special Ed got caught backdating a letter to comply to a legal deadline. We have the envelope proving she backdated it by 5 days to make it look like she was in compliance. She is also in law school and thinks she's already a lawyer.

    I know there are probably a dozen different ways to look at this, but my wife and I are on the same page on everything. By cutting her out of the picture, they might have a short term fix to not wanting to deal with issues, but in the big picture they just made a lot of bad feelings and make it harder to help our kids.

    What are my wife's rights and what can we do to make this workable with the school short of having to spend a whole lot of money we don't have on an adoption? This is Detroit and losing time from work to deal with this during the day only makes it likely that we'll lose our jobs.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    2,006

    Default Re: Stepparents and Schools

    What's under all of this is that the director of Special Ed got caught backdating a letter to comply to a legal deadline. We have the envelope proving she backdated it by 5 days to make it look like she was in compliance. She is also in law school and thinks she's already a lawyer.
    Since she's in law school, it shouldn't be a surprise to her when her superiors act on the complaint you should file with the school board as well as the state. I would personally send them copies of the proof that you have.

    When there is a child who has an IEP, it suddenly becomes a matter of money. The longer your kid stays in it, the more money they collect. I went around and around with my youngest. She had an IEP for reading and they insisted that they read to her all of her tests. Now, how are they going to test her reading and comprehension if they do the work for her? In this state, having an IEP also keeps that kids scores off the list for caculating how well the school is. Anyway, regarding your quesetion...

    Does the school still have copies of the authorization allowing her to act as guardian? Provide them with one if it was lost. Then ask them WHAT document that they require since "their research" what is acceptable since you have already given them permission. Send emails with cc's to all the board members. This should be easy for them to tell you. It maybe something simple that you can do without going thru the adoption process. Until they tell you what is acceptable, I can't really help you.

    Maybe some of the Michigan folk out here can help with the rules of your state.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Stepparents and Schools

    The Special Ed director actually tried to keep us from reopening our son's IEP. I requested in writing last November that they test him for Math problems. He was already certified Special Ed for Reading. Bt the Special Ed teacher said he was ok (even though he was getting straight D's and E;s). They covered up that she wouldn't process our request in the time required. The Special Ed director hated that we went to the county's ombudsman to force them to do the new IEP. My wife is great and went through everything by the book. But things started disappearing from his file at the school. When I gave them a copy of the letter requesting the IEP, they said it wasn't a good copy because I didn't xerox it AFTER I signed it. We have them dead to rights on everything. But we don't have copies of the forms they had me sign to let her act as their guardian because in the very beginning we didn't realize this was all going to happen. Now they dn't want her involved because she's keeping everything and even records their meetings.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    2,006

    Default Re: Stepparents and Schools

    But we don't have copies of the forms they had me sign to let her act as their guardian because in the very beginning we didn't realize this was all going to happen. Now they dn't want her involved because she's keeping everything and even records their meetings.
    Again, call the Board of Education and ask them WHAT form is acceptible. They have to tell you.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Stepparents and Schools

    You could also check with MDE as to whether or not they can refer you to a special education advocacy group along with whether or not they may offer any IEP Facilitation programs. You could also check the following links for advocacy help.

    http://www.causeonline.org/
    http://www.bridges4kids.org/Rules.html
    http://www.yellowpagesforkids.com/help/mi.htm

    I’m not in Michigan, but I can certainly feel your pain. Obtaining an appropriate education for our child has been an ongoing battle. I can tell you that immediate progress was made the first time we attended an IEP meeting with an IEP Facilitator and an advocate in tow.

    This is a what our state offers as an IEP Facilitation Program:

    Individualized education
    program (IEP) teams that
    have deadlocked progress
    because of sensitive issues,
    clashing personalities or
    turbulent histories can now
    navigate these impasses by
    utilizing a trained IEP facilitator.
    IEP facilitation provides teams
    with a skilled, impartial third
    party who conducts meetings
    in a manner that maintains
    focus on the student and
    establishes a foundation for
    future non-facilitated meetings…
    and it’s free!


    I also agree with the other posters in contacting your state dept. of education in ref. to issues surrounding your wife’s involvement. I don’t believe this should be a big issue and possibly you have already covered that area and the school is simply being difficult due to their own inadequacies. Best of luck to you and your famil!

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