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  1. #1
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    Nov 2008
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    Default Am I Responsible for My High School Son Even if He's 18

    I live in California, I am the mother of 4 Kids. My oldest is the one I am writing about. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and depression when he was in 4th grade and just last year he was Diagnosed with Obssesive Defiant Disorder. He steals, he lies, he runs away. He's even gone as far as threatening to stab his father because we took away his skateboard. We have been going to counseling, have called the police, and even tried to recruit the help of the Social Worker that HE called to investigate US for child abuse. It is an up hill battle. I found a letter he wrote perfectly backwards so that the only way you could read it is if you held it in fron of a mirror and read the reflection. It read that he was soon going to get attention when people saw the gun in his hand. I called the police and they just adviced me to take him to counseling! He is turning 18 in 30 days and we want him to get out, but we were told we are still responsible for him until he graduates from High School. Is this true? Does the rest of my family still have to endure his threats? Please help us.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Am I Responsible for My High School Son Even if He's 18

    You are responsible until he graduates high school or turns 19

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Am I Responsible for My High School Son Even if He's 18

    What if he is still being a threat to our family? I have 3 younger children that are still in elementary school that also have the right to be protected.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Am I Responsible for My High School Son Even if He's 18

    Quote Quoting CAMom4
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    What if he is still being a threat to our family? I have 3 younger children that are still in elementary school that also have the right to be protected.
    Then you need to contact the police if he is a threat to you and your family.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Am I Responsible for My High School Son Even if He's 18

    Quote Quoting CAMom4
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    I live in California, I am the mother of 4 Kids. My oldest is the one I am writing about. He has been diagnosed with ADHD and depression when he was in 4th grade and just last year he was Diagnosed with Obssesive Defiant Disorder. He steals, he lies, he runs away. He's even gone as far as threatening to stab his father because we took away his skateboard. We have been going to counseling, have called the police, and even tried to recruit the help of the Social Worker that HE called to investigate US for child abuse. It is an up hill battle. I found a letter he wrote perfectly backwards so that the only way you could read it is if you held it in fron of a mirror and read the reflection. It read that he was soon going to get attention when people saw the gun in his hand. I called the police and they just adviced me to take him to counseling! He is turning 18 in 30 days and we want him to get out, but we were told we are still responsible for him until he graduates from High School. Is this true? Does the rest of my family still have to endure his threats? Please help us.
    I believe that the age of majority in CA is age 18. That is when a person ceases to be a minor and is officially an adult. As soon as your son is an adult you are no longer legally responsible for him. The confusion might be that CS is different. CS can legally continue until graduation or age 19. However, you gave no indication in your post that any CS order exists. If there isn't one, you can legally make him leave at age 18. (although you might have to file for a legal eviction, get a consult with a local attorney on that).

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Am I Responsible for My High School Son Even if He's 18

    California law provides,
    Quote Quoting California Family Code, Sec. 3910.
    (a) The father and mother have an equal responsibility to maintain, to the extent of their ability, a child of whatever age who is incapacitated from earning a living and without sufficient means.

    (b) Nothing in this section limits the duty of support under Sections 3900 and 3901.
    That means that, except for court-ordered child support payable to the other parent, your duty to support an adult child is limited to situations where the child is incapable of working due to a documented physical or mental disability, or arguably in those rare situations where the child cannot find work for reasons outside of his or her control.

    Who is the "they" telling you otherwise?

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Am I Responsible for My High School Son Even if He's 18

    3901. (a) The duty of support imposed by Section 3900 continues as to an unmarried child who has attained the age of 18 years, is a full-time high school student, and who is not self-supporting, until
    the time the child completes the 12th grade or attains the age of 19 years, whichever occurs first.

  8. #8
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    Nov 2008
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    Default Re: Am I Responsible for My High School Son Even if He's 18

    His psychologist was the one that said we would still be responsible for him even if he's 18 because he is still in H.S. My son is capable of getting a job, he used to be an honor roll student until he decided the "anarchy" life was the life for him. Now the school or us parents can't and won't sign a work permit because he is failing all his classes. He's already said once he turns 18 he'll get a job on his own, that he won't need us. I'm just wondering, how is this going to work? Even though he is 18, if he decides to still behave in the same manner, what do I do? Call the cops if he runs away? They'll just laugh because he is an "adult" and he can do what he wants. He can come and go as he pleases in my house without contributing in any way, still being disrespectful, disobedient and violent until he turns 19? Because at the rate he is going, I regret to say I doubt he is going to graduate.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Am I Responsible for My High School Son Even if He's 18

    Quote Quoting kist
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    3901. (a) The duty of support imposed by Section 3900 continues as to an unmarried child who has attained the age of 18 years, is a full-time high school student, and who is not self-supporting, until
    the time the child completes the 12th grade or attains the age of 19 years, whichever occurs first.
    Right, as has been discussed. When there is an order for one parent to pay child support to the other parent, that duty can continue as outlined in Section 3901. That doesn't mean mom and dad have to cut junior checks until he graduates or reaches the age of 19. So far there's no indication that there's either a divorce or a child support order involved in this scenario.

  10. #10
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    Michigan
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    Default Re: Am I Responsible for My High School Son Even if He's 18

    Quote Quoting CAMom4
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    Now the school or us parents can't and won't sign a work permit because he is failing all his classes.
    I understand that will resolve itself when he turns 18, as he'll be a legal adult and won't require anybody's permission to get a job (or drop out).
    Quote Quoting CAMom4
    Even though he is 18, if he decides to still behave in the same manner, what do I do?
    Change the locks.

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