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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    1

    Default Is It the New Selfish Generation Causing the Lack of Grandparent Visitations?

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan
    I've heard of so many grandparent being ignored in regards to visitation with their grandchildren. This newer generation seems to use these children as pawns. They are not concerned about what is in the best interest of the child or they would not delete/omit loving blood relatives from their life. They seem selfish and self absorbed. Is it only me that sees this happening to more grandparents in the last 8-10 years? How succussful are the courts in favor of these neglected grandparents?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Toledo, OH
    Posts
    16,307

    Default Re: Is It the New Selfish Generation Causing the Lack of Grandparent Visitations?

    Did you have an actual legal question, or are you just looking for a place to get all indignant?

    The courts have ruled that the grandparents need to prove that visitation is in the best interests of the child and show that they have a longstanding, solid relationship with the child that would be badly damaged if visitation were denied. The courts have held that it is up to the parents to decide who has access to their children, and rightly so.

    Funnily enough, I've yet to see a grandparent looking to fight for visitation with a teenager. It's always the babies - who have no idea what the hell is going on - that get fought over.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Re: Is It the New Selfish Generation Causing the Lack of Grandparent Visitations?

    I find that the biggest predictor of whether people support grandparents rights in the abstract is their own relationship with their own grandparents. With regard to whether parents allow their own parents access to their children, the biggest predictor seems to be their relationship with their parents. None of that seems particularly surprising.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Location
    Washington comma the Great State of.
    Posts
    1,211

    Default Re: Is It the New Selfish Generation Causing the Lack of Grandparent Visitations?

    Quote Quoting Ddegeorge
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan
    I've heard of so many grandparent being ignored in regards to visitation with their grandchildren. This newer generation seems to use these children as pawns. They are not concerned about what is in the best interest of the child or they would not delete/omit loving blood relatives from their life. They seem selfish and self absorbed. Is it only me that sees this happening to more grandparents in the last 8-10 years? How succussful are the courts in favor of these neglected grandparents?
    Being related to a child doesn't automatically entitle you to custody/visitation/a say in its life. The only adults who have that privilege/burden as a matter of right are the parents of said child.

    I'm not sure I understand what you mean by how successful are the courts in favor of the neglected grandparents.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: Is It the New Selfish Generation Causing the Lack of Grandparent Visitations?

    Further, I find that this never comes up when grandparents understand their role in the family.

    The minute that grandparents realize that they are given access to their grandchildren based upon their own behavior, everything changes.

    Parents have the authority to grant access to their minor children. If you, as a grandparent, interferes with either that authority or that which the parent believes is not in the best interest of those minor children, you are expendable.

    That means that you have to let your adult children be parents and realize you are their at their suffrage. That means that, occasionally, you have to shut up and be nice.

    And that terrible relationship you have with your children is now coming back to haunt you... all those time you said they didn't know what they were doing or hated the person they married.

    You talked yourself out of grandchildren. And, in most states, there isn't a damn thing you can do about it.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    136

    Default Re: Is It the New Selfish Generation Causing the Lack of Grandparent Visitations?

    I don't think it's the selfishness of MY generation. I think that it's the selfishness of YOUR generation that believes they are entitled to children that don't belong to them. Not all grandparents are wonderful and loving and just as capable of using the children as pawns. For some reason my children's "loving" grandfather feels it's necessary to tell them how evil I am, how mean my husband is, how when they turn 11 they can pick who they want to live with....Shall I keep going?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    23

    Default Re: Is It the New Selfish Generation Causing the Lack of Grandparent Visitations?

    All excellent responses. I couldn't say it better myself! The selfishness is most definitely in the grandparent generation. If your grandchildren are you life, it's time to get a hobby or two. When parents are fit, regardless of their marital status, it is ALWAYS in the children's best interests to live with their parent(s) and for the parent(s) to make all decision for their children. Afterall, it's the PARENTS who are the ultimate blood relations to their own children, not the grandparents. Parents automatically bear full responsibility for their children, not the grandparents.

    One thing is very clear in these situations, the grandparent wants to take the children away from the parents.

    However, keep in mind that when you are a single parent, however that happens, the court treats your children like wards of the State, eventhough they are not.

    The natural and Constitutional rights of all fit parents are being systematically destroyed by the states and the courts. They have given into the pressure of "group rights". This is the new Communism. It is certainly not a free America.

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