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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    7

    Default Advice for Domestic Violence Trial

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: Illinois
    My husband physically assaulted me, which resulted in my nose being broken. He has never been arrested before, so he has no "priors".
    I was told repeatedly by the cops that I needed to get an order of protection so that my husband could not kick me out of the house or take away my car after the 72 hour hold. I went on and did this thinking those were the only terms.
    We have a court date set in a week, and I have been subpoenaed for the trial. I do not want to testify against my husband, and I am wondering if I have to. What he did was wrong, and he knows it. He is going to go and get counseling, and maybe over time I will be able to forgive him if he can change..only time will tell. What I do know is that I don't want him going to jail, or to lose his job that he worked so hard for. If anyone has any legal advice on what I can do so that I don't have to go to court and get my husband convicted of this crime...Thank You

  2. #2

    Default Re: Advice for Domestic Violence Trial

    If you have been subpoenaed, you must appear or face dealing with a warrant for your own arrest on a charge of failure to appear.

    An overwhelming majority of DV victims feel the same way you do - they want the immediate violence to stop, and want the offender to get counseling and change. The unfortunate side is that the second part happens rarely, and that more often, incidents of violence predict future violence, even after facing arrest and attending counseling. The criminal justice cycle has the parts you want; in that it too wants the violence to stop - but, it also has additional aspects of holding offenders accountable for their actions and administering punishments like incarceration or probation (the parts victims DON'T want, but that are inclusive in any criminal justice response to a reported crime - in other words, you don't get to pick the criminal justice response ala carte - once that snowball is rolling, it will roll to its conclusion).

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Advice for Domestic Violence Trial

    do i have to testify? I know everyone wants to pass judgement and say i am speaking "like a victim" but this man is no longer living in my house, and I don't know that we will ever be together again. however, the criminal justice system ruining his life, and mine and my childrens really isn't the answer. so its better they use him as an example and i go on welfare then i just move on with my life?

  4. #4

    Default Re: Advice for Domestic Violence Trial

    If you've been subpoenaed, then it's likely that the prosecution is planning on putting you on the stand. The defense might be able to block many of the questions before you have to answer them, but ultimately you'll likely be ordered by the judge to answer things that they already have answers to (like, "are you the one who called police" or "is this the injury you sustained on the date in question").

    The criminal justice system is following it's multiple purposes. That the process and possible outcomes might ruin his life as a consequence is exactly what people are supposed to consider BEFORE they commit criminal acts that put them in the situation. It's a really simple process: committing crimes and getting caught means unpleasant things are going to follow if there is a conviction or plea. HE is the one who made the decisions, HE is the one who committed the immediate crime against you, HE is the one who put himself at risk of loosing his job, and HE is the one whose actions are to blame if or when he's not able to continue to be a provider.

    I agree with you that consequences for him are likely to have negative consequences for you too. That dynamic is one that is played out coast to coast every day, and stands as one of the MAJOR reasons why so much domestic violence still goes unreported - because domestic violence isn't a "private problem" like it was 20 years ago. Now, it's actually treated like the very serious crime that it is - and offenders are actually being arrested and facing the system instead of police showing up and telling them to take a walk around the block to cool off. These changes happened because the system realized one inevitable fact: that domestic violence is a crime of escalation, even when there are significant periods of "cooling off" in between. So, in the bigger picture attempt to protect victims, DV is now treated like any other violent crime and there's no "free pass" just because the victim was a significant other and doesn't want the full barage of consequences to come to fruition. Ultimately, yes, many victims do face problems associated with consequences for their abuser. But at the end of the day, in the much bigger (and yes, impersonal) picture, the system's ultimate goal is to have you alive, even that means struggling.

    Condensing all of that into a short, politically incorrect, yet accurate, answer in a nutshell is: people don't get off the hook for committing violent crimes just because they have financial responsibility for other people. There is also a strong aspect that is unique to DV cases that financial reliance on an abuser causes victims to throw all other aspects out the window in favor of the immediate fear of losing that support.

    On the flip side, your situation is, unfortunately, not unique. But that being the case also means that a lot of other people before you have faced the challenges that you might be facing. Find them, and LEARN from them. Find out what unseen things they had to deal with, what they tried that didn't work, and what DID work. Lots of help is available, whether you prefer face to face help like a domestic violence support group, or whether you prefer more private assistance from things like websites, books, or anonymous online boards and chats, or some combination of these. There are assistance programs at many levels, including direct financial assistance from things like state-level crime victim compensation funds, to county-level assistance, to fiancial aid to go back to school to enhance job skills, to funds available through domestic violence agencies to help with deposits and utilities, and so on and on. The best place to start is with your local domestic violence program. They help folks with these same issues every day, and are a too often overlooked resource for folks who have stopped the violence, yet are struggling to move on.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Il.(near StL,Mo.)
    Posts
    5,252

    Default Re: Advice for Domestic Violence Trial

    Catherine, excellent post. Betty3

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Advice for Domestic Violence Trial

    Unfortunately I am educated and employed so I dont qualify for any aide. I just have to sell my house and move into an apartment with my kids and more than likely quit my job because i don't have the money to pay for extended care anymore. Lesson learned, never call the cops, this is far worse than anything I have had to endure up until now.

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