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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2008

    Default Court Ordered Family Counseling - What Can Be Used Against a Parent?

    My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Oregon

    I've recently lost significant parenting time (used to be 50/50, now is every other Sunday afternoon for 3 hours) but the judge DID order family counseling for me and my children to attend. I'm grateful for this order, as I was trying to get family counseling established earlier, but to no avail.

    My case is rather complicated but in a nutshell, I will say that I am the "target parent" of a classic Parental Alienation Syndrome case. My ex is an admitted drug abuser and there was a restrainer order in place at the time of our divorce. I realize that my anger and hatred towards him has adversely affected my relationship with my children; thus, our current situation.

    So... my question is: What kind of information is off-limits during these counseling sessions, as all records will be shared with the courts?

    Because my children have not been living with me the past 7 months, I have really been left in the dark. I have been afraid to talk to them about anything relating to the custody dispute between their father and me because from what I understood, I am not permitted to discuss the case with my children. My ex should be under the same restrictions but of course, has been able to share everything with the children and is the first to receive all correspondence from the children's attorney.

    I want to repair my relationship with my children (they are very angry with me for fighting the custody modification) but am afraid that anything I say in counseling will be used against me. Please believe me when I tell you that I have been totally railroaded by the Family Law System. I have been accommodating and polite to my children and have not forced myself on them during these months. Although heartbroken at the parenting time hearing that I was only given every other Sunday, at the same time, I am grateful I was given "something" because before the hearing, I was advised not to force the children to see me at all.

    From my experience, it seems that the Family Courts seem to promote parental alienation rather than to prevent it. I've been so beaten down that I'm afraid to open up during counseling to find out what's really going on with my children. If I make the slightest derogatory comment about ex (or one that could be perceived as such), my kids will "report" back to their dad immediately that I said something negative about him. How do I get around this?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006

    Default Re: Court Ordered Family Counseling - What Can Be Used Against a Parent?

    Counseling can only work if the adult being counseled is honest. When you begin counseling, ask your counselor what issues you should or should not be talking to your children about.

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