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    Default Re: Friend in Danger

    And have her do some additional things:

    1) Contact her local domestic violence program and find out if they have legal advocates who can help her to formulate her case, get her evidence in order, make sure she's applying for the right TYPE of order, etc. ...and,

    2) Get her to understand that just because there is an order of protection, that does NOT mean anyone IS protected. All it means is that certain behaviors which are normally fine can be charged as criminal offenses if they occur after an order is in place, and, that penalties are more likley to be enforced (and/or enhanced) if that order is violated. Other than that, it's ONLY a piece of paper. It's value to her only kicks in if he DOES something else - from harassing phone calls to an all out fire and brimstone shooting spree at her school - and, it's ability to deter such actions is directly proportional to his fear of repercussions for violations. Of all of the domestic violence homicides I've been involved in over the years, I'd say about 65% of the cases involved already standing POs or PFAs - because some people will be deterred by it, and other people will be pissed off by it or suddenly realize that it signals a true end (even months or years later) to the abusive relationship and they are often NOT about to let that happen. Such an order MUST be only be a single tool in a box FULL of tools.

    When ex's start acting psycho, hurting themselves or threatening to hurt themselves or others, it should send up a HUGE red flag, as this is classic behavior seen in a large majority of cases that end up with one or both parties in the morgue - she needs to be working on her personal safety plan, and getting friends/family/supporters on board with that plan. She can get help with this through her local DV program. She can also check the stalking section for tips on how to properly document and defend in stalking situations.

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