A Mother Blindsided by Ex

[wolfofshadows]

My question involves child support in the State of: Texas

Hello.. I have a friend who is dealing with a rather large issue and I'm hoping that some of you can give her some direction as to what steps to take. She was with her ex for about 3 years, had a child with him, and then they broke up earlier this year. The child is about 3 years old and he has custodial rights, while she has visitation every other weekend (as per their informal agreement that they wrote and signed, no courts were involved).

It turns out he was rather spiteful and submitted child support papers to the court. She was not given any summon to appear in court, but rather it was up to her ex to tell her (which I'm unsure how this could have happened). He told her not to worry about it, that he had looked up child support and was not following through with it.. and it turns out he did. Since she was not given a formal summon, and she naively believed her ex that it was nothing to be concerned with, she missed the court date.

It now seems that since she missed the court date, the court has ordered her to pay child support in the amount of somewhere around $400 when he makes more money and she can barely make ends meet as it is.. As it was, she was already giving him about $250 a month before. Also they have determined that she cannot leave the state with her daughter and if her ex should pass away, custody would go to his eldest daughter of 22. Per their agreement that they had in writing before he went to court, she was allowed to take her daughter to another state once she reached the age in which she was able to decide (somewhere around 6 to 8) for herself if she wanted to live with her mother. However, now this is not even possible because of the court decision.

My question is.. now that it has gotten to this point, what steps should she take to counter the measures her ex has taken against her? She is supposed to schedule a date to sign the court papers, but since she has not yet signed, is there something she can do? Someone to appeal to? She, as I mentioned, does not have much money and because of this will have to get rid of the car she has.. so take that into consideration.

Help?

[mmmagique]

She has to get a lawyer. Tell her to talk to several family court attorneys. Many will give her a no to low cost consultation.

It sounds as if the courts are of the belief that she is an absent parent, and that she will not be able or willing to take care of the child should something happen to dad.

Does she have drug or alcohol issues?

Does he?

Courts do not like one parent moving children away from the other parent, so, it's not surprising that the courts would not have that in the court order. They also want children to have stability, and no child at age six or eight should be made to decide which parent they would like to live with.

It sounds like BOTH parents have to start putting the children first.

[distressedmom]

I agree she has to see a board certified family law attorney, and stop talking to the ex until this is resolved through the courts. She should have received notice of the court hearings. This is something she should not try to handle alone.

[CourtClerk]

How long ago was the order made?

I'm not sure how it is spiteful for a custodial parent to pursue child support from a noncustodial parent. Custodial parents (even men) have the right to pursue support through the courts. Informal agreements are generally worth the paper they are written on, especially when children are involved.

Texas uses a straight percentage of the NCP's income, regardless of time sharing to calculate support. Is amount of support ordered in line with what the guideline calls for? If so, then there will probably be no deviation from the guideline (nor should there be) unless dad agrees to it and the court agrees to it.

Texas also has parenting plans written into the family code that resemble the "she can't move the child" clause, and anyone who thinks that a 6 or 8 year old has the capability to decide where they should live should not be raising a child anyway. That's WAY too much power to give a child who probably can't even remember to take a bath everyday.

However, she should probably seek a consultation with an attorney to discuss her options.