My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

I served the mother with an Order To Show Cause, for the modification of child support, visition and legal custody. In my Declaration I stated that this was to request that the judge just formalize what has been the status quo. (got this advice Idea from this website) The mother has had a minute order since 2006 thats allows for the father (me) only to see our son every other weekend. We have never adhered to this minute order. Now since this happend the mother has pulled the court order out and is now enforcing this issue for fear of having to pay me child support, mainly because she makes more money than me and I have had him more like 65% or 75% the time. Now last night her live in boyfriend started verbally attacking me calling me some very deragotory names in front of him and his friend last night challanging to a fight, this guy was calling me every name in the book, the things he was caling me was worth fighting for, but I didnt but I ended up spitting on him, he called the police trying to get me arrested for assault. I ending up appologizing to him and telling my son that I acted inappropriatly, and I did. The mother was never involved, just my son, my son has to live with this guy berating me and filling his head with all kinds of lies. Now my son is 13 we have a mediation date set and a hearing date set. I am going into mediation pro per, my son does not want to live there anymore, this was a truamatic experience for him, and because she can afford an attorney can I have an attorney afforded to me by her or the state, and can my son have an attorney represent him and his wishes. What can I do about the verbal assualt and pre meditated provactive behavior of the boyfriend.