My question involves defamation in the state of: Connecticut.
I met my now husband 6 yrs. ago. The irony is I met his ex first cos she was "Dating" an acquaintance of mine (she was still married to my now husband at the time - I did not know this), then I met their child at a friend's house who was babysitting the child & then I met my now husband. When my husband & I started to date we informed his ex before we made it know to their child as a courtesy. Since then we have had nothing but problems. My husband asked me to marry him after 2 months of dating. Again he told his ex before his child. Whenever they'd talk on the phone she would say things like "that fat f***ing whore" or the see-you-next-tues. comment re: me. After a while the comments ceased. Then she contacted CPS on us stating that we were abusing her child. It was investigated & found unsubstantiated. At the time I wanted to press charges against her for false accusation, but my husband asked me to let it go cos it would only cause problems for the child & him in regards to the ex, so I let it go. She has brought my husband back to court 6 times since we have been together due to her jealousy of my relationship with my stepchild. She's told my husband that she thinks I've sexually abused the child. She's told him that she's unhappy that I have access to info. re: the child i.e. ss# cos she thinks I'm going to use the info. to commit fraud. This yr. again she made claims of abuse against me to CPS & again it was investigated & found unsubstantiated. My husband agreed that this time we would press charges against her. A few weeks ago during a phone call (that is on tape as our atty. for the custody case suggested he tape) she made a comment about how she was happy cos at least she could fit into a size 3 (she is significantly thinner than I am, & I am already self-conscious about my weight & I really don't need her throwing it up in my face. I have a thyroid problem amongst othe health issues). She has also made comments thru the years about how I can't get pregnant (gee do you think the stress she's put me under could have anything to do with that?) I've broken out in a rash & I've had mild depression because of this.
Also, my husband & I obtained the full report from CPS re: the most recent claim & found out that she had supposedly tried to get a restraining order against me to protect the child because of a verbal disagreement she & I had at the child's dentist office. When we read what the social worker had written it seemed like his ex had just said it to "blow smoke" to beef up her story. We went to court on Mon. to defend the 3 motions she filed against my husband recently (it's the beginning of a long haul). While we were there, we went to the clerk's office to see if in fact anything had ever been filed by her & in fact she had filed for a protective order which was denied cos it didn't "fit the statuatory criteria".
I realize that the CPS investigations were found unsubstantiated & the restraining order was "dropped" but I'm tired of crying & suffering over the actions of this woman, especially in view of the fact that not only is it directly affecting me, but it is affecting my stepchild as well. She has prevented the child from coming to spend time with me when she knew my hsuband was not going to be here (when I spoke with the child I explained that it was not cos I didn't want the child to spend time with me, to which the child replied, "I know, it's cos Mommy says you're mean"), & then there are other times when she lets the child stay with me when my husband is not here (pretty much cos she has no other arrangements for the child).
I want to bring litigation against her (defamation of character, slander, mental anguish, emotional distress) & really cannot afford an atty. (We are already paying for an atty. for the custody case & are starting to run out of money & a GAL has been appointed to represent the child, so we'll have to pay at least 50% of that). What can I do?
Thank you in advance for any advice.

