My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Utah

Legally, can very young children decide where they want to live?

I am the custodial stepparent to 2 kids that I love dearly. The kids ages are 10 and 7. 2 months ago, our nightmare began. Out of the blue, my stepkids told me that their mother was telling them to tell their dad that they wanted to move in with her. They didn't like it, they wanted the questions to stop and they wanted us to deal with it. Later, the 7 yr old changed her mind and has pestered her dad ever since. The catch is that she constantly changes her mind. Sometimes she wants nothing more than to live with her mom and other times she displays very real fear of living there.

We've tried talking to the mother about what appears to be very obvious manipulation. She is instantly extremely defensive and denies everything. Instead, she accuses us of ignoring the needs of the kids. You just can't talk rationally with someone who is behaving that way.

We are obviously feeling that the 7-yr old is being manipulated and coersed into wanting to move. She is very young and very much motivated by her mothers 'Disneyland Mom' tendancies. What can we do? The father isn't willing to let her move. He has some very real concerns about her welfare over there and he doesn't want to split the kids. I don't see how mediation will work, considering that the mother lives out of state and is completely unwilling to admit what the kids say she's done. There isn't any reason the kids would make it up, so I see no reason not to believe them. I don't see where there is anything we can do, court-wise, to stop this situation; however, I can see a future where the mother takes us to court for custody of the 7-yr old.

So - can a 7-yr old decide where to live? What can we do, now, to stop this situation?