I will try to keep this to the facts and provide summary info. I'm providing some vague info in case my STBX or her lover/attorney are reading this. The situation at hand has gotten to the point where it now affects my children and I've had enough of it. I would appreciate additional input......above & beyond what my attorney is presently providing. He's doing a great job, but this is a rather strange matter. Here we go....hang on and enjoy the ride........
My questions are in color.
- I left the marital home in mid-Nov. 2007.
- Wife filed for divorce in very late Nov, yet attended a marriage counseling session with me in early Dec.....never advising me of the upcoming divorce (she believed I was having an affair, which was not the case).
- It became apparent in mid-April her attorney was courting her (i.e. - gave her gifts expressing his love - I have photographic evidence)
- They began attending my children's events together, showing open expressions of love (once again, I have pics) and making the situation unpalatable for me to get near my kids at these events without an incident (he would claim I was harrassing her). What can I do? Restraining order keeping him away from my kids and anyone associated with them (like my STBX)?
- A PPO was est'd against me approx. a month ago based on the premise that I was harrassing her and stalking. Stalking got tossed during a motion to terminate, but harrassment stuck. Harrassment based on....we had an exclusive housing arrangement, but she would not return items that belonged to my family and my mother (who is in assisted care; items include will, trusts, safes and all of her jewelry). I am the trustee and DPOA for my mother. I was sending my STBX emails trying to resolve the situation regarding the family/mother's possessions, but she would not reply or surrender the items (her attorney claimed I was trying to change the structure of the marital estate, when all we were doing was storing the items). Yes, the tone & quantity of emails was probably unnecessary, but hardly threatening.
- Her attorney personally inventoried, loaded, and moved my personal possesions and delivered them to me (in a parking lot) as part of our property division. Is this proper? Anything I can do?
- During a mediation session her attorney stood up and stated a comment I had made were "fighting words". He had to be calmed and asked to sit down. Any legal issue pertaining to his actions?
- I have standard visitation with my kids (every other weekend and every Tuesday for a couple hours), but am cohabitating so can't have kids overnight.
- They (wife & atty) have been trying to dictate pick-up & return times and locations. What can I do? Don't I have "jurisdiction" over how I handle my time with the kids?
- Her attorney is occasionally present at pick-ups & returns for no apparent reason. Is this harrassment? What can I do to make him stop doing this?
- Her attorney is taking her and my children to events (i.e. - baseball games). My guess is this is hardly proper. What can I do to make him stop doing this?
- Visitation time tweaks (situation specific) have been going thru my attorney, and he has been kind about this (he's a friend & limiting his billing), but it doesn't come without a bill. My 15 year old is stuck in the middle conveying last minute info since I cannot contact my STBX (and this has to stop, he hates it and so do I). So I tried to contact her atty directly last week prior to visitation to work out some time changes. He didn't reply, so our son ended up trying to work between the STBX & I. Her attorney sent a terse note to my attorney this morning telling me to stop. Now I have little to no way to communicate, unless I wish to pay my attorney.....and I'm out of funds. Any suggestions?
- Her attorney is not billing her (originally they wanted attorney fees, now they do not...gee, I wonder why
) but is tossing immense amounts of paper at us (my attorney and I) which require responses. Her attorney is making everything difficult, laborious and drawn out. To date I have spent nearly $20K and we have been in court for a 1.5 days, with more days to come. We are fighting over debt and taxes, there are minimal assets (less than $20K). Can I show that he is causing damage to the estate and his (legal) actions are harrassing me?
- My wife has my kids withholding info from me and avoiding questions that may reveal how they or she is spending thier/her time (esp. when it involves her attorney)? I'm not probing, but just asking simple questions ("How was your evening") which they are afraid to answer.
- Her attorney comes over to the marital home and spends time there while the kids are upstairs. No overnights, but at night after business hours.
I intend to file a greivance with the attorney general for the state of MI when this is all over, but what can I do in the mean time? I need relief, my kids need to get out of the middle, her attorney's ethics need to be shown the light of day and I need to be able to work out visitation with my children. So far our kids are handling the divorce extremely well, but I can see this is going to cause them harm if it's not dealt with soon.
Any and all assistance and info that can be provided would be most appreciated.

) but is tossing immense amounts of paper at us (my attorney and I) which require responses. Her attorney is making everything difficult, laborious and drawn out. To date I have spent nearly $20K and we have been in court for a 1.5 days, with more days to come. We are fighting over debt and taxes, there are minimal assets (less than $20K). Can I show that he is causing damage to the estate and his (legal) actions are harrassing me?