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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    Default Can My Husband's Daughter Take His Name?

    My question involves name change laws in the State of: child is in Arkansas father is in Florida

    My husband and I just found out he has a daughter that is 16 years old. Her mother never contacted him until two months ago. We took a "non-legal" paternity test and it came back positive. My step-daughter was adopted by her ex-step-father some years back. She has asked me to find out if she can legally change her last name to my husband's name. Is this possible without her mother's consent or do we need to go through the courts? Also, does anyone know why her ex-step-father was allowed to adopt her without my husband signing away any rights being that he didn't know of her existance? This is all new to us and we are clueless as to whether or not we have any rights to her at all. We do not want to drag her into and out of court but we are willing to do so only if ABSOLUTELY necessary. She has gone through enough emotional turmoil (as we all have) in the last 60 days.

    Thank you.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    38,867

    Default Re: Can My Husband's Daughter Take His Name?

    My step-daughter was adopted by her ex-step-father some years back. She has asked me to find out if she can legally change her last name to my husband's name. Is this possible without her mother's consent or do we need to go through the courts?
    Neither you nor your husband can do anything. As it stands, he does not have a daughter (legally) and has no rights to involve himself in her life without her parents permission. As his spouse, you have even fewer rights, which is impossible though becuase he has none at all.

    So, she is not your step daughter. You nor your husband can do anything to change the girls name, even with her mothers permission.

    If anything, since you did not include any timeline nor much info at all, is to investigate the possibility that the adoption could me reversed. That would vary upon a lot of things, none of which you have included, or even sound like you know yourself.

    or investigate the possibility of your husband adopting the girl but that would require the step father to relinquish or have removed his (the adoptive father) parental rights.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    3

    Default Re: Can My Husband's Daughter Take His Name?

    What, if anything, can we do to have legal rights to her? Let me elaborate what little information we do have.
    This is a child that was conceived at the ages of 15 and 17 during a one night stand. Another person was tested and when it came back negative, the mother decided that she did not want to persue any other options by testing anyone else because she really didn't want to disappoint her parents. By the time the mother was 18 she married and had her husband adopt the child. No contact was ever made from the mother to my husband to tell him there was even a possibility that he had a child. My husband has lived at the same address for 32 years. The mother claims she never told my husband after she found out we got married almost 13 years ago because of me, which actually puts the child at age 4 or 5, so this of course is not true. She actually checked me out at the local store and did not even mention anything. The mother was young and scared and didn't do things in the best interest of anyone but herself. The mother did contact us 2 months ago and my husband took responsibility for his child. The child wants to be in my husbands life and wants to get to know him. She has even mentioned staying with us for an extended amount of time. From what you told me, this does not even sound like it is a possibility. Do we need to wait until she is 18? I do not understand why my husband would have to adopt his own biological daughter when he didn't even know he had one to start with. Why doesn't he have any rights? Will he ever be able to get to have rights or will her mother be in complete control which means that we have to step on broken glass every time we talk to her just so father and daughter have a chance to really get to know each other? Should we hire a lawyer or wait it out being that the courts are slow and we only have 2 years until she is legally an adult? The worst part is that we know that we have a lot to offer this child who has dyslexia, homeschooled by a parent that only gives her books and papers to do while she is at work, doesn't really teach her, and is on a fourth grade math level. I feel like we could really help her but our hands are tied. Mom comes out with different stories every time we try to get information, so we will never know the truth.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    38,867

    Default Re: Can My Husband's Daughter Take His Name?

    From what you told me, this does not even sound like it is a possibility. Do we need to wait until she is 18?
    that is up to the girls mother and adoptive father (you don;t seem to say where he is in all of this)

    I do not understand why my husband would have to adopt his own biological daughter when he didn't even know he had one to start with.
    there is the biological father and there is the legal father. They aren;t always the same man. In this case, your husband was never legally determined to be the father so he is not the father, legally. Additionally, another man adopted the girl so he is the legal father to the girl. If your husband is determined , legally, to be the girls father, he may not have to adopt his own child BUT many states do not like to disrupt a childs life with such matters. The fact they already recognize certain people as their parents can outweigh the fact that somebody else is the bio father.

    Why doesn't he have any rights?
    Because as it stands, he is not even the bio father, to the courts. A quick look at Arkansas laws shows there is no statute of limitations to have paternity established so if your husband wants to be legal dad, then he will need to initiate an action to do so.

    [QUOTE] Will he ever be able to get to have rights or will her mother be in complete control which means that we have to step on broken glass every time we talk to her just so father and daughter have a chance to really get to know each other?[/QUOTEYour husband and the girl are legal strangers, as things stand. Until he sues in court to have paternity established, that will always be that way.

    Should we hire a lawyer or wait it out being that the courts are slow and we only have 2 years until she is legally an adult?
    that's up to you. If it were me, I would, at least, hire an attorney to research this to see if there is anything your husband could even do. Then weigh the options and make a decision.

    The worst part is that we know that we have a lot to offer this child who has dyslexia, homeschooled by a parent that only gives her books and papers to do while she is at work, doesn't really teach her, and is on a fourth grade math level. I feel like we could really help her but our hands are tied. Mom comes out with different stories every time we try to get information, so we will never know the truth.
    Until and if this ever gets in to the courts, remember, you are legally nothing to this child. Your husband has absolutely no rights to demand anything. Her mother and father are the people who the courts will support in this situation because...they are her parents.

    One thing to rememeber; if your husband is determined to be the legal father, he will then be liable for child support.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
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    3

    Default Re: Can My Husband's Daughter Take His Name?

    The mother is going to ask the adoptive father to surrender his rights because he does not have anything to do with the child. If we were to do joint custody would child support still be an issue? If it is, then does it go back 16 years, or from the date of legal paternity? If the adoptive father does surrender his rights, would my husband still have to adopt her, or would we petition the court in Arkansas to just legally change the papers?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Default Re: Can My Husband's Daughter Take His Name?

    There's no magic form an adoptive parent can sign that gives his rights away, let alone gives them to somebody else. He's the child's legal parent.

    There may have been irregularities with the adoption, and you are free to investigate that, but whatever happened it's unlikely that a court is going to overturn an adoption after more than a decade.

    In less than two years the girl will be 18, at which point in time she can establish her own relationships as she sees fit, and can legally change her name without her mother's permission. Unless you want to initiate a costly and probably futile legal battle, and perhaps have the mother cut off access to the child, your best bet is probably to wait out the two years.

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