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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    120

    Question Leaving the State with Unestablished Biological Paternity

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Florida

    My son is almost 3 months old. He had 2 potential fathers, and one of them witnessed the birth and is on the certificate. We are not married yet we live together. The other is moving to Ga and I wanted to take an offer to go with him to try to get my life together. I have been unable to find a job in my city in FL and there are more opportunities there for me to find work and get a new car.

    My issue is that my son is a breastfed baby and is in the time of his life where being with me is important, but I'm tired of living off of one salary paycheck to paycheck and want to get extra income for my son's well being. Hector, who is on the BC, wants me to go get my life together and leave the baby with him. I would like my son to come with me. However, I am in debate because I would have to transfer the baby's medicaid, address, and all his drs to another state and everything, and leaving him here would be better for him THAT WAY, but taking him with me insures that he continues to breastfeed and be with mommy. But Hector tells me that if I leave te state with the baby, I can be charged with kidnapping and lose all my legal rights to the child. But, being on the BC, does Hector have the right to do that, even though he is not yet biologically established as the father? A DNA test has been requested and filed for.

    I only intend to go to GA to get a job, get a car (I live in a tourist city in FL so GA is cheaper) and get enough money to get myself together, pay my own bills, and then come back. I would be gone long enough to bypass the off season in FL, and I would be able to save money to visit and to send if it is needed for my son. Then I would also be able to save money to last me until I can find a new job in FL for my return. I would be living in a house with 3 roommates, so I would be paying 1/4 of everything plus my cell phone bill. This can give me more to save.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Re: Leaving the State with Unestablished Biological Paternity

    Quote Quoting Grimsfury
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    and one of them witnessed the birth and is on the certificate.
    Then the subject line is wrong. Paternity is established, and your child's legal father is identified on the child's birth certificate.
    Quote Quoting Grimsfury
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    But Hector tells me that if I leave te state with the baby, I can be charged with kidnapping and lose all my legal rights to the child.
    If there's no child custody and visitation order in effect, you can't be charged with parental kidnapping. But he can bring a custody action of his own the minute you leave the state and, in your absence, stands a very good chance of getting a custody order. Consider establishing custody before you leave, and getting the court's permission to relocate with the child. Or, if it's what you decide to do, getting a custody order giving custody to Hector and giving you visitation consistent with your new residence and the distances involved.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,773

    Default Re: Leaving the State with Unestablished Biological Paternity

    Quote Quoting Grimsfury
    View Post
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Florida

    My son is almost 3 months old. He had 2 potential fathers, and one of them witnessed the birth and is on the certificate. We are not married yet we live together. The other is moving to Ga and I wanted to take an offer to go with him to try to get my life together. I have been unable to find a job in my city in FL and there are more opportunities there for me to find work and get a new car.

    My issue is that my son is a breastfed baby and is in the time of his life where being with me is important, but I'm tired of living off of one salary paycheck to paycheck and want to get extra income for my son's well being. Hector, who is on the BC, wants me to go get my life together and leave the baby with him. I would like my son to come with me. However, I am in debate because I would have to transfer the baby's medicaid, address, and all his drs to another state and everything, and leaving him here would be better for him THAT WAY, but taking him with me insures that he continues to breastfeed and be with mommy. But Hector tells me that if I leave te state with the baby, I can be charged with kidnapping and lose all my legal rights to the child. But, being on the BC, does Hector have the right to do that, even though he is not yet biologically established as the father? A DNA test has been requested and filed for.

    I only intend to go to GA to get a job, get a car (I live in a tourist city in FL so GA is cheaper) and get enough money to get myself together, pay my own bills, and then come back. I would be gone long enough to bypass the off season in FL, and I would be able to save money to visit and to send if it is needed for my son. Then I would also be able to save money to last me until I can find a new job in FL for my return. I would be living in a house with 3 roommates, so I would be paying 1/4 of everything plus my cell phone bill. This can give me more to save.
    Before you make a huge mistake, you really need to get a consult with a local attorney who will be able to tell you what your options are and the possible consequences of your decisions.

    You can get a low cost ($25 for a half hour) consult by calling the Florida Bar Lawyer Referral Service at 1-800-342-8011.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Posts
    582

    Default Re: Leaving the State with Unestablished Biological Paternity

    It will be easier for you in the long run to have all of these things settled before you leave the state. I am living proof of how bad things can turn when you leave the state without an order. If you try to go to court later your options become limited because of jurisdictional issues. For example if you move to GA you will not be able to file court action against the FL father. Just get it taken care of now. Just because the name is on the birth certificate doesn't mean the other guy can't claim the child is his. If a dna test proves he is the father the court could have a real reason to modify the birth certificate.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    120

    Default Re: Leaving the State with Unestablished Biological Paternity

    It has been decided that I am going out of town for a while. This will give my boyfriend and I time apart, and we can also work out our personal issues. He can work things out with his ex about their children, and I can get myself back onto my feet. I will work, save up and get a car, then work and save up to return. Doing this I can bypass the off season where I am now. I also will visit via bus, train, or driving, and will send money that would be needed for my son.

    I would love to take my son with me, but there is a paternity test applied for, meaning the baby MUST NOT leave the state. If I take him with me, I can be charged with kidnapping, and lose all my rights as a parent. SO, he will stay with his daddy.

    ALSO, with me not being here, his bills get downsized by 3/4, meaning he pays 200 rent/mo, 50 car insurance/mo, and the 1 bill agreed by his rental contract, which is about 135/mo. The rest goes to savings. I will put all my spare money first towards a car, then after that whatever is leftover will go to savings. Every now and then I will also visit, like I said, so if I have spare money ahead of time, and all our personal issues are worked out, I may come back home sooner than expected.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,773

    Default Re: Leaving the State with Unestablished Biological Paternity

    Quote Quoting Grimsfury
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    It has been decided that I am going out of town for a while. This will give my boyfriend and I time apart, and we can also work out our personal issues. He can work things out with his ex about their children, and I can get myself back onto my feet. I will work, save up and get a car, then work and save up to return. Doing this I can bypass the off season where I am now. I also will visit via bus, train, or driving, and will send money that would be needed for my son.

    I would love to take my son with me, but there is a paternity test applied for, meaning the baby MUST NOT leave the state. If I take him with me, I can be charged with kidnapping, and lose all my rights as a parent. SO, he will stay with his daddy.

    ALSO, with me not being here, his bills get downsized by 3/4, meaning he pays 200 rent/mo, 50 car insurance/mo, and the 1 bill agreed by his rental contract, which is about 135/mo. The rest goes to savings. I will put all my spare money first towards a car, then after that whatever is leftover will go to savings. Every now and then I will also visit, like I said, so if I have spare money ahead of time, and all our personal issues are worked out, I may come back home sooner than expected.
    http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=40723

    Are you leaving your baby with the same man that just a few months ago you wanted to secretly find out about his criminal history??

    Please, please, for your sake and your baby's sake, PLEASE get a consult with an attorney before you leave. There can be very serious consequences if you follow through on your plan. You NEED to understand what those consequences can be, I could take the time to list some of them, but, somehow I really don't think that you'll understand. Hopefully, by consulting with an attorney you'll be able to fully understand what you are risking. In my other post, I gave you the phone number for the lawyer referral service- Use it.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    21

    Default Re: Leaving the State with Unestablished Biological Paternity

    Quote Quoting Grimsfury
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    *snip*

    I would love to take my son with me, but there is a paternity test applied for, meaning the baby MUST NOT leave the state. If I take him with me, I can be charged with kidnapping, and lose all my rights as a parent. SO, he will stay with his daddy.

    *snip* Every now and then I will also visit, like I said, so if I have spare money ahead of time, and all our personal issues are worked out, I may come back home sooner than expected.
    Just wondering if you've thought about your child in this really selfish decision? Your baby is 3 months old and nursing (which is a wonderful, healthy, mature and responsibile decision) and you are going to abandon him and nursing to his father while you go off and find a new life, in a new state??? Take your son with you - and like the other posters state, get legal advice and set the custody situation for your young son now, to avoid possible consequences down the road that could be a huge detriment to your ability to parent him later! Envision your return for a second? Your 'Hector' meets a new lady who moves in and starts caring for your son... you come back and he says, "Sorry baby, but little man has a 'new' mama!" And then shows you the court document to prove it! One that says you abandoned your son with him and left the state in search if yourself and wealth... Remember most 'intentions' are good, but good doesn't guarantee your son will be handed back upon your return.

    As a mom of a nursing 8 month old, I couldn't imagine leaving her for an afternoon, let alone ..."a few months..." Even if you'll be visiting, "...every now and then..." But to each his own, after all.

    End Rant.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    120

    Default Re: Leaving the State with Unestablished Biological Paternity

    not going anywhere...staying and going to figure out more about everything. He checks the forums I go to. I was trying to scare him into thinking I was actually leaving....nothing worked. He's still the same. I'll find a way out. Thanks again....

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