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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    2

    Default Bio-Dad Opposes My Adopting

    My question involves adoption law for the State of: Virginia

    I want to adopt my wife's oldest son (15). His Father says that he will not allow it. As a father, he refuses to see the son, does not talk to him, and he has told us on many occasions that he wants nothing to do with the son. He is paying child support, and he said that he wants the son to have his last name and that there is nothing that my wife and I can do to change it.

    Her son wants me to adopt him, as well as I want to adopt the son, and my wife wants it as well.

    In the past, the father was physically abusive to the mother and the son, as well as verbally. I think that he is fighitng this because he wants to feel that he has some kind of "Power" over the situation. We have talked to him and told him our wishes, and he refuses, even though he would be out of the oblivgation to pay the child support any more.

    Is there even a chance that my wife and I can proceed with this, even though we know that the father will not approve?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    5,437

    Default Re: Bio-Dad Opposes My Adopting

    Q: Is there even a chance that my wife and I can proceed with this, even though we know that the father will not approve?

    A: We can't tell you what will happen. So file the lawsuit and find out.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    2

    Default Re: Bio-Dad Opposes My Adopting

    I guess that my question was more, can he legally prevent us from adopting because he wants the son to keep his last name? We will start the process as soon as we move, so I didn't know if there was advice that could posibly persuade the Father, or for my Wife and I to try to make this happen.

    Thank you for your assistance.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    5,437

    Default Re: Bio-Dad Opposes My Adopting

    Q: I guess that my question was more, can he legally prevent us from adopting because he wants the son to keep his last name?

    A: A: We can't tell you what will happen. So file the lawsuit and find out.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Re: Bio-Dad Opposes My Adopting

    The circumstances where adoptions may proceed against the wishes of a parent are defined by statute - go here and scroll down to IC 31-19-9-8.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Bio-Dad Opposes My Adopting

    There seems to be 2 issues. One is the adoption, the other is the name change. I don't know anything that could help with the first issue, but in some states, the custodial parent can legally change the name of the child - they just have to inform the other parent of the court date. The other parent can then make their case. My (step) daughter's father (when my wife asked him about changing the daughter's name so it would match her mother's name) was dead set against it, but in the end, the name got changed.

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