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  1. #1
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    Default Procedure Performed on Child Without Custodial Parent Consent

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Texas. My ex-wife has my 14 year old son for 2 weeks for summer visitation. I am the custodial parent. She had his ears pierced and hair dyed without my knowledge and she is well aware that I was against having this done because I would not allow him to have it done while he was at home with me. Is there anything I can do about this? Do I have any recourse?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Procedure Performed on Child Without Custodial Parent Consent

    do you have sole legal custody?

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Procedure Performed on Child Without Custodial Parent Consent

    We have joint custody, but I am the custodial parent and he lives with me full time. According to the divorce decree, any procedure, no matter how minor, is to have the consent of both parents.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Procedure Performed on Child Without Custodial Parent Consent

    So take her to court and try to convince a judge that cosmetic changes to his appearance justify the court's time in deciding if she is in contempt.

    And they are cosmetic. You can argue that they are a medical procedure, but considering my 15 year old daughter just got a second piercing for her birthday and they did it at a Kohl's - though I have seen them done at several places in the mall... none of the time are the procedures done by a doctor.

    In fact, I don't even know if you can get a doctor to pierce an ear.... not to mention someplace else.

    Usually you have to go to a heavily tattooed gentleman named "Spike" or "Thor".

    You see where I am going, right?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
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    Default Re: Procedure Performed on Child Without Custodial Parent Consent

    Post the exact wording of the decree as it pertains to custody.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Procedure Performed on Child Without Custodial Parent Consent

    Quote Quoting bbmm
    View Post
    We have joint custody, but I am the custodial parent and he lives with me full time. According to the divorce decree, any procedure, no matter how minor, is to have the consent of both parents.
    so, you are saying you have joint legal custody and you have sole physical custody, correct?

    and define "procedure". I mean, I suppose some anal person could consider a hairstyling a "procedure" (like in coloring their hair) but I doubt that is what was intended in the decree.

    as to peirced ears? tell him to remove the earings when he gets home and the holes will heal closed.

    problem solved unless you want to try to make a major case out of something so simple. If so, then, rememeber it was you that brought your son into court to argue about him getting his ears pierced.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Procedure Performed on Child Without Custodial Parent Consent

    And also be prepared to explain why, if hair coloring is a procedure, you didn't notify your ex prior to every haircut.

  8. #8
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    Jul 2008
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    Default Re: Procedure Performed on Child Without Custodial Parent Consent

    I know it would be ridiculous to take her to court for this and to pull my son in to court. I just know that I would never do anything like that without her permission. It would just be nice for her to have the same respect for me.

  9. #9
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    Mar 2007
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    Default Re: Procedure Performed on Child Without Custodial Parent Consent

    If I may....

    You apparently have a rather acrimonous divorce. You have an excellent opportunity here to show the children and the community at large who the better person is.

    Never bad mouth your ex to the children or to the community. Never get angry about your ex in front of the children. Never fight with your ex where the children can hear it.

    Always take the high road. Always. In all things.

    Right now, the children see two adults acting like children. They will respect the one that acts like an adult first. Until one emerges, they will respect neither and play you two off each other for their own benefit.

    Yes, it is normal to want to strike back. Yes, it is normal to want to get the last word or punch.

    You would go into a burning building for the sake of your children, right? You would step in front of a gunman to protect them.

    Then do this.... be an adult for them. They need it just as much.... more. Fighting with your ex accomplishes nothing. Giving your son the shock value he wanted to evoke from you accomplished nothing.

    If you think it would help, go to a meeting of Parents without Partners. They can help.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
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    11

    Default Re: Procedure Performed on Child Without Custodial Parent Consent

    Again, thank you for your advice. You have really helped me calm down and see the "bigger picture." I know that I need to just continue doing as I have been by not saying anything negative in front of my son, and you are right, he will figure it out on his own. Thanks!

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