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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    3

    Post Am I Being Unreasonable?

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Californa

    My ex and I have joint legal with primary physical custody to me. He has visitation with our 8 year old daughter during the school year alternate weekends from friday after school till Tuesday drop off at school. In addition he has a midweek visit every wednesday from after-school till 7:30 p.m. and the wednesday before my weekend it is an overnight visit with his girlfrend dropping our daughter off at school. He also has half of all school breaks, all holidays are equally split and we implement a week-to-week schedule during the summer. He wants to change it to joint legal and physical custody with a 50/50 arrangement during school on a week-to-week basis with each of us having a mid-week visit during the other parents week. I am a stay-home mom with 4 other chldren and he works full-time from about 5 a.m. till 3 p.m. his other daughter with his girlfriend attends daycare as his girlfriend works as well. He nevers takes our daughter to school, his girlfriend does, and the girlfriend also picks up from school when he's not off work in time. He attends school 2 nights a week. He's requesting that I allow his girlfriend to care for our daughter while he's at school one of the days evry other week, I would have a visit on the other day. Our daughter doesn't care for the girlfriend and says that she yells often at both her dad and their other 3 year old daughter they have together. This makes my daughter uncomfortable. She also is not treated as equal as the daughter her dad has with his girlfriend. WE had problems last school year with the school calling because my daughter got sick at school on the days her dad's girlfriend was taking her. I don't think adding more time that he's not available for and putting our daughter in the care of his girlfriend over me is what is in the best interest of our daughter however he will be serving me soon with OSC papers. I would like the schedule to remain as is till he's finished with schooling. Am I being unreasonable?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
    Posts
    4,494

    Default Re: Am I Being Unreasonable?

    Yes, you are being unreasonable. However, let the mediator decide.

    We stopped penalizing people for working a long time ago. If he has adequate child care lined up for her in his absence, then he's got it taken care of.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Am I Being Unreasonable?

    He's taking me to court to gain 2 extra days a month. What is so wrong with her being with her mom for those two days until he's finished with his schooling a year from now. I'm not penalizing him for working, she's watched by his family during his weeks in the summer and his half of her school breaks, which I agreed to willingly. He barely came into her life 5 years ago and our daughter still complains about having to go to his house when he's not there, all I'm trying to do is ease her frustrations about constantly having to leave my house to be with other people and not her Dad.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: Am I Being Unreasonable?

    Quote Quoting gdiaz
    View Post
    He's taking me to court to gain 2 extra days a month. What is so wrong with her being with her mom for those two days until he's finished with his schooling a year from now. I'm not penalizing him for working, she's watched by his family during his weeks in the summer and his half of her school breaks, which I agreed to willingly. He barely came into her life 5 years ago and our daughter still complains about having to go to his house when he's not there, all I'm trying to do is ease her frustrations about constantly having to leave my house to be with other people and not her Dad.
    I guess he feels those two days with his daughter are precious.

    We cannot guess at the motivations of your ex.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Am I Being Unreasonable?

    He's not even going to be with her for those 2 days. he will be at school while our daughter is with his girlfriend and by the time he gets home she'll be in bed because they are school nights. He actually first requested that he not have to pay child support and he will pay for any activities she's in. I wouldn't agree to that so now he wants 50/50. Some people have said that with 50/50 there is no child support order. It's always been about money first and when he couldn't get that he went after the visitation. I'm willing to agree to the 50/50 beginning net year when he's finished with his night school but he wants it now becasue when he's done with school he'll be making more money and he doesn't want to have to pay more.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
    Posts
    4,494

    Default Re: Am I Being Unreasonable?

    Well then let the mediator decide. You don't seem to want to hear anything unless the opinion agrees with your thought process. Good luck.

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