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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    18

    Default Ex Is Verbally Abusive In Front Of Child

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: CT

    My ex has been verbally abusive in the past and continues to be, despite there being a court order of not speaking that way in front of our child. Our child is only 2 years old and gets very upset- criies and states "Daddy Mad" and then doesn't want to go with him, crying and saying "no mommy no" "go in mommy's car". We already meet in a public parking lot, but this doesn't seem to help. What else can I do in order to be able to document?

    Today he called the police regarding a visitation issue about when he was to return her to me (I wouldn't give in based on the advice of my lawyer and therapist because of the way he verbally abuses me and threatens me (he's a cop and thinks all cops will side with him etc...) and his failure to give notice about visits. The police came and sided with me and there was a witness today as to his verbal abuse-- yelling swearing, slamming doors. So this one time is documented with the police. But, I know that because he didn't get his way now, things will be even worse. How do I protect myself and most of all, my daughter from being a witness to his behavior? Walking away is not always an option, because if I don't hand her over to him, then he will claim I am trying to withhold her from him. If its the end and I am getting her back, I walk away, put her in my car and we leave. But when I am dropping her off, it isn't so easy- the baby is going to hear it.

    The police suggest bringing someone with me. If I bring someone with with me, is that going to be a "biased" person?

    Thank you for any help you can give....

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Ex Is Verbally Abusive In Front Of Child

    Maybe you should have him communicate through writing or email. It takes longer but sometimes reading will cut down on the emotional side of the conversation and you both can walk away for a little when one annoys the other. I myself have been labeled abusive by my wife. When we talk about our problems she calls it fighting, i call it talking about our problems and we disagree. Talking in a raised voice is also considered yelling and abusive in our relationship but I think she is doing her best to make me look bad. I've struggled to have her sit down and discuss problems and work on solutions but it never happened. I think "verbal abuse" is subjective and everyone has different levels of what is acceptable.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    18

    Default Re: Ex Is Verbally Abusive In Front Of Child

    Thank you for the advice. I agree with people having different ideas of what verbal abuse is, but this is pretty clear- calling me an F-ing B---, Stupid B--- etc... in front of child and a bunch of other nasty stuff that I will not type out. It is not like you are saying in terms of "talking about problems" or a simple raised voice. There is that as well, but thats not what I'm conerned about.

    The court ordered that we use a communication notebook to write back and forth and in 2.5 mths, he has never once used it despite me using it for every visit. He doesn't even read what I write either as evidenced by him "not knowing" about things that I clearly wrote in the notebook.

    Thanks again for the tips....

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