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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
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    5

    Exclamation Stopping Visitation Over Violation Of An Order Of Protection, In Tennessee

    This question belongs in 2 forums but I wasn't sure which one to put it in.

    Here is the deal; an order of protection was put in place against my step daughterís bio dad, to protect her and her mother. Terms of the order stated that his (bio dad) mother is supposed to supervise all visitations. Well this past week my step daughter had to go over there, and bio dad decided that he was going to take her on a 2 + hour trip but his mother did not agree with it and told him no, well he decided to curse his mother out in front of my step daughter and took her anyway even though my step daughter cried and told him that she didn't want to go without her "MawMaw" (bio dad's mother).

    We called the court and the put it on the first docket for next week. The problem is that bio dad has already been notified of this and she is scheduled to go over there again this weekend right before the court date.

    We are extremely scared that he is going to try to do the same thing and possibly not come back with her this time. If his mother can't control him then what is to stop him from doing this.

    I would like to know if there is any way to halt the visitation till we go to court next week.

    I hope this explains it, there is a lot more I can get into but I am trying to keep this short. The bio dad has about an arrest record about as thick as the bible, most arrests are abuse arrests against girlfriends, ex girlfriends, and he even has one that his own mother had to call the police on him. He went to a mental institute for a while after he shot 2 people (they didn't die thankfully), he also has 2 - 3 retraining orders against him currently, 1 I know if from my fiancť and atlest 1 other from his last girlfriend. No job for 3+ years, mooches off his mother (who has cancer), and since he doesn't have a job his ~$30 a week for child support his mother pays even though she is going thru chemo treatments. That is the basic summary of him, I could go on forever but this is getting too long.

    Thanks in advance and I apologize for the poor grammar, spelling, and long length.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    2,773

    Default Re: Stopping Visitation Over Violation Of An Order Of Protection, In Tennessee

    Quote Quoting cwarley
    View Post
    This question belongs in 2 forums but I wasn't sure which one to put it in.

    Here is the deal; an order of protection was put in place against my step daughter’s bio dad, to protect her and her mother. Terms of the order stated that his (bio dad) mother is supposed to supervise all visitations. Well this past week my step daughter had to go over there, and bio dad decided that he was going to take her on a 2 + hour trip but his mother did not agree with it and told him no, well he decided to curse his mother out in front of my step daughter and took her anyway even though my step daughter cried and told him that she didn't want to go without her "MawMaw" (bio dad's mother).

    We called the court and the put it on the first docket for next week. The problem is that bio dad has already been notified of this and she is scheduled to go over there again this weekend right before the court date.

    We are extremely scared that he is going to try to do the same thing and possibly not come back with her this time. If his mother can't control him then what is to stop him from doing this.

    I would like to know if there is any way to halt the visitation till we go to court next week.

    I hope this explains it, there is a lot more I can get into but I am trying to keep this short. The bio dad has about an arrest record about as thick as the bible, most arrests are abuse arrests against girlfriends, ex girlfriends, and he even has one that his own mother had to call the police on him. He went to a mental institute for a while after he shot 2 people (they didn't die thankfully), he also has 2 - 3 retraining orders against him currently, 1 I know if from my fianceand atlest 1 other from his last girlfriend. No job for 3+ years, mooches off his mother (who has cancer), and since he doesn't have a job his ~$30 a week for child support his mother pays even though she is going thru chemo treatments. That is the basic summary of him, I could go on forever but this is getting too long.

    Thanks in advance and I apologize for the poor grammar, spelling, and long length.
    Your fiance has to abide by the existing order, if she denies visitation she could possibly be held in contempt. This would also be a huge point in her ex's defense in his contempt hearing. The best thing to do is for your fiance to speak to the Grandmother and let her know of her fears. She can ask Grandma to call the police at once if her son takes his daughter out of the house without supervision.

    There are three issues that are important concerning your post:

    1. You and the mother are not married, therefore you do not have a step-daughter, yet.

    2. The dad is NOT the "bio dad", he is the dad.

    3. "We" cannot do anything. Your fiance is the only one who can take legal action. Even after you are married, you will not be a legal party to the case.

    Those 3 items might seem trivial, but in court they can be HUGE. You do not want to do or say anything that might harm your fiance's case in court, so be very careful how you and her word things.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    5

    Angry Re: Stopping Visitation Over Violation Of An Order Of Protection, In Tennessee

    That was the rudest response I have ever seen. When it comes to my wife, and her kids they are my kids too and I don't see it any other way. It is called family and I am looking out for everybody in it. We arenít in court right now this is just a forum where I am trying to get advice on what to do, when it comes to my wife and OUR kids I will do what ever it takes to keep them safe, happy and healthy. I donít go to court with her so you should not assume that I am going to go to court and act like an idiot.

    Reasons I call him "bio dad" is because I have other names that are not appropriate, and he has never been a dad/father at all to the kids no matter how hard I tried to help him out and respect him. Do not assume that he is the victim before you know the whole story. I could post the rest of the issues with him but I will not get into that because I believe these forums are limited to length.


    Now back on subject, my wife went to court and guess what, the wonderful TN court system decided to shorten the Order of Protection, and he admitted and the judge agreed that he violated it in multiple ways. When my wife received the order the judge was very harsh on the bio dad that when his daughter is visiting that his mother is to be there at all times and that he is to respect and stop making threats to the mother and to me. And now when they went back to court and it was shown that he violated both of those parts and the judge actually shortened the order.

    We have gone to multiple lawyers and have received the same answer. We have a great case if the court system actually worked correctly in our area, but the judge that handles these cases does not. The lawyers have also informed us that if we wanted to fight to change the visitation schedule then we could but until he agrees on something we could fight it out forever, and all he has to do is every time we go to court he just says no and we have to pay court costs and he gets to keep on doing the things he is doing.

    We did get possible good news and that is the next time she goes to court about the order that she requests to have a mental evaluation and have something from the hospital saying that he is safe to be around children. The bio dad was in a mental institution for a while after he shot 3 people, and chased and run down a couple of kids with his vehicle. I believe he spent his time in the institution for that but a few years back he was told from the hospital that he needed to go back for a certain amount of time because of his anger and mental instability. But something happened and he just stopped going and said he was fine. Now hopefully with his background we should be able to get them to agree with that.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: Stopping Visitation Over Violation Of An Order Of Protection, In Tennessee

    Let me preface this by saying I am a step father myself. To my knowledge, the only place I have ever referred to my eldest as a step-anything is on these boards.

    However, that doesn't change the legality of the situation.

    Quote Quoting cwarley
    View Post
    That was the rudest response I have ever seen. When it comes to my wife, and her kids they are my kids too and I don't see it any other way. It is called family and I am looking out for everybody in it. We arenít in court right now this is just a forum where I am trying to get advice on what to do, when it comes to my wife and OUR kids I will do what ever it takes to keep them safe, happy and healthy. I donít go to court with her so you should not assume that I am going to go to court and act like an idiot.
    Legally, I have as much say over your wife's step children as you do. We are both legal strangers to the children and have no influence into decision making capabilities over them.

    In fact, all we can do is harm the bio mother's case in court. If the children of your wife call you "daddy", you are potentially giving HIM ammunition to use in court.

    The children have a daddy... an you aren't him.

    I appreciate the love you have for the kids... but, legally, you don't have a dog in this fight.

    Reasons I call him "bio dad" is because I have other names that are not appropriate, and he has never been a dad/father at all to the kids no matter how hard I tried to help him out and respect him. Do not assume that he is the victim before you know the whole story. I could post the rest of the issues with him but I will not get into that because I believe these forums are limited to length.
    Doesn't matter a dime... from a legal standpoint.

    And if you have ever used any of the other words around the children, you could have, again, dinged your wife's case.

    You have to be careful here. Until the law says otherwise, his rights to the children trump yours EVERY TIME.


    We did get possible good news and that is the next time she goes to court about the order that she requests to have a mental evaluation and have something from the hospital saying that he is safe to be around children. The bio dad was in a mental institution for a while after he shot 3 people, and chased and run down a couple of kids with his vehicle. I believe he spent his time in the institution for that but a few years back he was told from the hospital that he needed to go back for a certain amount of time because of his anger and mental instability. But something happened and he just stopped going and said he was fine. Now hopefully with his background we should be able to get them to agree with that.
    Be prepared to also submit to a mental evaluation... as should your wife.

    While there may or may not be significant evidence of the bio father's mental instability, judges are known for being balanced... and if one side gets tested, both sides may.

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