My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Oregon

My ex and I share joint custody of our 2 boys - ages 10 & 14. They alternate weeks with us, switching on Wednesdays. We have had this arrangement for about 2 years. It has worked out pretty well except that every other Wednesday is a "fight" with my 10 yo who doesn't want to go back to Dad's. So far he has gone each time with very little physical "help".

Over the weekend my ex was arrested for domestic assault against his live-in GF. The boys were with him at the time. The 10 yo slept through it and the 14 yo heard the commotion through his bedroom door. Being quite used to these kinds of events (ex abused me throughout our marriage), my son chose (as he told police) "not to investigate this time". This was Saturday morning at 1:00 a.m. and I picked up the kids and took them to my home. Later I received a call from the ex requesting that I keep the children the remainder of his time (through Wednesday) and we would hear from him later. Of course I agreed but we have not heard anything from him since. Rumor has it that he proceeded with his Alaskan vacation while the GF moves her things out of the house.

The boys are scheduled to return to Dad's on Wednesday. I was not surprised to hear my 10 yo say he does not want to go. But now my 14 yo says he REFUSES to go back to Dad's. Says that he is kind of afraid of him and that Dad has had "zillions" of chances to do the right thing but he keeps screwing up.

We do have a court order so I know that I must comply with it by returning my sons to Dad's. But if it comes down to it, I don't think I could physically make my 14 yo go. With Dad's help we might get him there but then would the physical involvement be considered child abuse? And if we did get him over there it would be quite plausible that he would just return to my home since I live only 3 blocks away.

What do I do? Do I allow him to stay at my home and let him talk to the police if and when they arrive? Do I try to physically force him to go? What if the police do show up? Who would be "in trouble" and for what?

I do not blame my kids for not wanting to be with their dad. I was able to divorce him... they don't get that option.

P.S. I did speak with an attorney a couple days ago and am in the process of trying to come up with the retainer so I can move on this. However, my son's refusal to return to Dad's has come up since my meeting.

Thank you in advance to anybody who can help!