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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May 2008
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    Post 16, Pregnant, And Statutory Rape Charges

    This is extremely complicated, just for heads up.

    I've been dating my boyfriend for two years now. He has just turned 19, and just turned 17 when we started dating. My parents never had a problem with us dating. She would drive me to his house all the time and let me be with him. March 31 I found out I was 10 weeks pregnant. After talking things out with my boyfriend, we agreed we didn't want to get married at such a young age. I am too young and have a bright future ahead of me. After telling my mom, she stayed calm for awhile. She made me quit my job because she said I need all the energy I have. When she found out that I wasn't planning on marrying him, she freaked out. She said either we get married, or shes pressing statutory rape charges on him. She wrote up a note saying she won't press charges on him if we get married before June 1st. We then decided we had to get married. However, because of my parents threats, we found out that it is interrogation. So after telling her we are not going married, and if she tried to force us to, then we will call the police on her and have her arrested. After yelling and cursing in my face, calling me names such as a whore and trash, I came to the conclusion that I can't live in that household anymore, and I want to be partially emancipated.

    Now, she has threatened to kick me out of the house, and press charges of statutory rape anyways, and get a restraining order on him so he can't see me if I get emancipated. It is not a safe environment for a baby; there's household cleaners down low, they smoke, and yell all the time. I cannot bare to live there anymore and if there is anyone out there who can help me figure out what I can do, please let me know.

    I don't want my boyfriend to be put in jail; we have a child on the way, and he needs to be here. I turn 17 on June 22, but my time limit is June 1st. Please help me ASAP.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    2,652

    Default Re: 16, Pregnant, And Statutory Rape Charges.

    Hi Amy, this is not too complicated, we do hear this sort of thing from time to time.

    You didn't mention what state you live in. Laws vary from state to state, so that information is necessary.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2008
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    2

    Default Re: 16, Pregnant, And Statutory Rape Charges.

    I live in Illinois. I read up on laws already. You have to be seventeen in order to be considered an adult. She can press statutory rape on him because I am only 16. I don't know what to do. This has gotten way out of hand.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
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    Default Re: 16, Pregnant, And Statutory Rape Charges.

    I've been dating my boyfriend for two years now. He has just turned 19, and just turned 17 when we started dating. My parents never had a problem with us dating.
    Dating and sex are two different things and apparently you don't know that one can be done without the other.
    She would drive me to his house all the time and let me be with him.
    Did she give you permission to have sex with him also? I didn't think so.
    March 31 I found out I was 10 weeks pregnant. After talking things out with my boyfriend, we agreed we didn't want to get married at such a young age. I am too young and have a bright future ahead of me.
    Well, there's rationale for you. You're too young to commit yourself to the boy you chose to be the father of your child for life, but you're not too young to commit yourself to raising a child for life. You are obligating your child to someone for life that you aren't sure you're ready to obligate yourself to. Hmmm.... there's something to think about.
    After telling my mom, she stayed calm for awhile.
    Probably longer than I would have...
    She made me quit my job because she said I need all the energy I have.
    Wrong move. She should have made you keep your job and pick up more hours. You think you're tired now? Wait until you have to go to school, work and and take care of a baby. Being pregnant is the easy part.
    When she found out that I wasn't planning on marrying him, she freaked out.
    That or she was completely disappointed in your decisions...
    She said either we get married, or shes pressing statutory rape charges on him.
    Sounds fair.
    She wrote up a note saying she won't press charges on him if we get married before June 1st.
    That would have been as enforcable as your "commitment" to lover boy.
    We then decided we had to get married.
    Great!
    However, because of my parents threats, we found out that it is interrogation.
    What?!?! What is interrogation? I'm not sure you know what that means because that word doesn't belong in that sentence.
    So after telling her we are not going married, and if she tried to force us to, then we will call the police on her and have her arrested.
    Arrested for what? She hasn't broken the law. You actually have to have broken the law to be arrested.
    After yelling and cursing in my face, calling me names such as a whore and trash, I came to the conclusion that I can't live in that household anymore, and I want to be partially emancipated.
    No, we don't do half way grown up. You either are completely emancipated and become an adult, or you stay in a child's place until you're ready to take care of yourself. However, I will tell you that some 16 year old making poor choices already is NOT going to be getting emancipated anytime soon. And being 16 and pregnant is a poor choice.
    Now, she has threatened to kick me out of the house,
    GOOD!!!! You want to be emancipated anyway, right?
    and press charges of statutory rape anyways, and get a restraining order on him so he can't see me if I get emancipated.
    as she should...
    It is not a safe environment for a baby; there's household cleaners down low, they smoke, and yell all the time.
    I've raised a few kids... and there are many more in my family believe it or not. There are household cleaners down low all the time, and I yell. So? Do you let the children run the house or do YOU run the house. I was taught that you don't childproof the house, you teach your kids acceptable behavior, watch them and keep them out of places they shouldn't be. I left glass figurines in my home while the kids were little, I never locked a cabinet and guess what? The only glass figurines broken were because I broke them and no one had to have poison control called on them.
    I cannot bare to live there anymore and if there is anyone out there who can help me figure out what I can do, please let me know.
    Remember that you are but a mere child who knows not what is about to happen and how your life is about to change.

    I don't want my boyfriend to be put in jail; we have a child on the way, and he needs to be here.
    For what? Until paternity is legally established, he doesn't even HAVE a child. Tell him to get a job too, he'll need to pay child support.
    I turn 17 on June 22, but my time limit is June 1st. Please help me ASAP.
    Tell your mother you're sorry and go back to being a kid. Remember that she's had a child before, you haven't.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    2,652

    Default Re: 16, Pregnant, And Statutory Rape Charges.

    Seventeen is the age of consent, not adulthood.

    I don't agree with your mom as to forcing you into a marriage, since you and your boyfriend have decided that neither of you are ready for it.

    You do not meet the requirements for Illinois emancipation, but you may be able to get some assitance from the Department of Children and Family Services.

    Honestly though, IMO, family counseling could do a lot of good to help all of you cope with this. This information is all very new to your parents and it may take time to adjust to it.

    It will be up to the District Attorney as to whether or not charges will be filed against your boyfriend. He needs to consult with an attorney.

    -------------------

    Maybe you meant to say "intimidation" instead of interrogation.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    Officially across the country from where I've been all my life
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    Default Re: 16, Pregnant, And Statutory Rape Charges.

    Quote Quoting Happy Trails
    View Post
    Maybe you meant to say "intimidation" instead of interrogation.
    Hey... that would fit. I couldn't figure it out, however, intimidating your kids is not against the law either. In fact, I recommend it sometimes.

  7. #7
    panther10758 Guest

    Default Re: 16, Pregnant, And Statutory Rape Charges

    One more thing. Mom does not have to press charges. Your Doctor, your Teachers, counselors etc are all mandated reporters. This means by law they must report any and all abuse. The rape of a minor qualifies. So unless you never see a Doctor, never go to school and pretty much never leave your house its possibile your Bf can go to jail.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: 16, Pregnant, And Statutory Rape Charges

    The above folks have told you the law... and they are correct.

    You should plan on being a single parent. Your mother is not the only one that can and, by law, must turn you in. For instance, your doctor must inform the authorities as well.

    Look at this from Mom's point of view for just a second. She was in the home stretch. She had scrimped and saved... gone without and all for you.

    You were getting ready to leave the nest. Maybe, just maybe, mom would get to actually buy food SHE likes and sleep in on the weekends!!!

    Nope... you go and decide to wrap your legs around a guy you aren't "sure about". Great.

    Mom says that if you want a baby so much, YOU get married and YOU take care of it.

    You say, "Ya know what... I don't think I like like him... we were only schtuping after all... so I will just keep working towards my very bright future."

    You don't get it. Your very bright future just extended your Mom's motherhood committment at LEAST another 10 years.

    For all intents and purposes, you just gave her another kid that she didn't get to have the fun to make.

    And SHE is the one that is unreasonable.

    Crap kid... I would be smoking and drinking my head off if I was Mom.

    You wouldn't be the first kid that was "intimidated" into marriage when you figured out that making love also makes babies.

    Get married. Move out. Good luck.

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