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  1. #1

    Default Division of Parenting Time

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan

    My X and I are on a temp. parenting time schedule where I exercise my time as every Monday and Wednesday unspecified amount of time at any time and 4 hrs Saturday and Sunday. (24hr notice required but have been on a set schedule) We go back to court for perm parenting time and child support. I had originally asked for EOW Friday @ 6 til Monday @ 6 and one night EW. But after doing research (our son is 5 months old) it is not advisable for a child that small to be away from either parent for a long period of time. The judge had also said this when we were in court to establish paternity and temp. time.

    I have been in his life since he was 4 days old and at this point his mother and I try to do our best to co-parent. But she is not willing to agree to any time unless the court orders it. We had a meeting with FOC and they are only recommending EOW on Saturday nights from 4 p.m. to 4 p.m. on Sunday and Monday and Wednesday to stay the same. But again this causes a long time frame of our child to be without his father. They also had said they don't want to suggest every couple of days as this is not good for the child. So I am in search of a plan that will benefit all involved. And I know I can not please everyone but I do want what is best for our son. I feel I have established a good bond with him and I do not want this bond to diminish. So any suggestions will be appreciated.

    I am not looking to take the child away from his mother but I am trying to keep the strong bond I have with my son. I don't want to stress him out and I would like to try some type of step plan to actually get to the original plan in the future. I am seeking 50/50 shared legal and physical custody. And I believe my X doesn't have a problem with this but wants to not grant any overnights because she is not ready. So can anyone help me with this or at least give me some links where I can go to get some samples?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,948

    Lightbulb Re: Parenting Time

    Although not based on the child's age - here are some examples of how time sharing works out in custody percentages...

    http://www.childsupportca.com/timesharechart.htm

  3. #3

    Default Parenting Time

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan

    Ok My X and I found out she was pregnant and so we decided to get a house and live together. Well when she was 6 months pregnant she moved out. Before that we had a disagreement and she got aggressive. I was in a severe motorcycle accident and couldn't defend myself very well. Paralysis in my left arm and neck brace on. No police were called and no one else was there. So I figured just let it slide no huge harm made. She had told me she was going to call me when our son was born and she didn't. I found out through a friend. She started letting me see him everyday. But I had to go to her parents (where she is living). In Jan. she started denying my visits so I filed for paternity/custody/cs. So now we are under temp orders where I exercise my parenting time 4 hrs Satuday and Sunday and Monday and Wednesday anytime for as long as I want. So to be fair I only have him while she is at work. Didn't want to be unfair. I only work 15 hrs per week due to my disability. Anyway, I am asking for 50/50 shared legal and physical custody. At first she had told the Friend of the Court evaluator that she wanted sole custody but then in her soft disappointing voice had said "50/50 is fine". So now we go back to court on the 20th and I am requesting EOW Friday til Sunday and EW Wednesday night. Our son will be 7 months on that day. If the judge will not go for that (she did say that an infant shouldn't be away from either parent that amount of time....looking at the weekends I wouldn't have him.) So I was thinking that I would ask for 3 nights a week. I don't think I am asking for much. We do co-parent quite well when the mother wants to cooperate.Which is most of the time. So I would think that the judge would see this as a good thing.

    Also, in the past I had been arrested for spousal abuse and disorderly conduct. Neither offense will be on my perm. record. None of these offenses were with her and she knew about these when we hooked up and she moved in. Even now she is telling me how she wants to move in and have more babies with me. I Know not sure if she is playing me or just confused.

    So what do you think my chances are for overnights?

  4. #4

    Default Re: Parenting Time

    Since my last post....had to take our son to the emergency room. He was vomiting (projectile) and was turning blue. (My wife had told me he had been vomiting since we had started him on food.) Took him to the nearest hospital and of course it wasn't the hospital his doctor was at so my X was really upset.She actually fought with me on the phone when I called her to tell her I was taking him. I wasn't going to drive 20 miles while our son is turning blue. Anyway, once they got him stable they did eventually transfer him and they kept him overnight for observation. Now they couldn't find anything wrong and since he was feeling much better they released him and said we needed to follow up with his doctor. So 4 days later we took him to his doctor and the doctor really made it obvious that my X wasn't listening to him and just feeding him when she wanted and how much she wanted. Our son is 7 months old, weighs 15 lbs and is 26 inches long. Now I know some of you said that isn't that unusual but the doctor said he was the size of a 4 month old. Anyway at the appt the doctor was very upset he said our son should be drinking at least 8 oz of formula (X3 per day) plus 5 oz of food every day. Needless to say she hasn't been doing that. I had been giving him as much as he will want. I believe in feeding on demand. When he wants to eat. So the result was that the doctor said he was lethargic and that he wasn't sure why he was vomiting but to start feeding him on demand and give him more fluids (i.e. water, juice) in between meals. So here is my question.....

    We go to court tomorrow for perm. custody/cs. In michigan fathers usually just get standard EOW and 1 day during the week. Unless there is some circumstance that causes the courts to believe the mother is unfit. Well I do believe I am a good father but I do have 2 arrests (cleared off record) that was brought up in FOC meeting so my attorney says that I am lucky to be getting standard. So what I was wondering if I should bring this whole feeding, hospital situation up in court with of course his medical records and see if I can get more than standard? If I did this would postpone to another court date and not sure if this would actually get me more time with him. Or should I just take the standard and run? Right now we are in the process of trying to settle but my X is wanted more child support than what I work. She is willing to start the standard visitation earlier than the recommendation as long as I give her the cs she wants. So any advice would be greatly appreciated.

    Sorry for the length.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Parenting Time

    wish I could give you some good advice but i too have had many problems with the screwed up friend of the courts in michigan they allways fu*k over the good people and dont see the bad. so you will be in my prayers keep fighting

  6. #6

    Default Re: Parenting Time

    Quote Quoting cableguy78
    View Post
    wish I could give you some good advice but i too have had many problems with the screwed up friend of the courts in michigan they allways fu*k over the good people and dont see the bad. so you will be in my prayers keep fighting
    I appreciate your understanding in this matter. I am so furious at what has transpired. I feel I was pushed up into a corner. So now I am stuck with only standard parenting time...our son not having my last name.....my name not even being on the birth certificate...and having to pay $300 in child support when I only gross $780 a month (currently on disability). They wouldn't even budge on that. They say because I can walk and drive I could get another job. Okay I might even though the economy stinks in michigan but it would most likely be at a significantly small wage so why?

  7. #7

    Default Re: Parenting Time

    How long was the temp order? Did the judge acuatlly say that your police record had anything to do withthe standard visitation? Are you up to day in CS and did you excercise all visitation? It could be that they want to limit the childs mobility from home to home at such a young age. Bringing up the hospital thing may or may not work for you. all parents make mistakes, and hopefully learn from them. The improper feeding doesnt make her unfit unless you can prove seh deliberately did it and is continuing to do it. If she is now correctly feeding the baby, then consider it her lesson learned.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Parenting Time

    Quote Quoting 1parent
    View Post
    How long was the temp order? Did the judge acuatlly say that your police record had anything to do withthe standard visitation? Are you up to day in CS and did you excercise all visitation? It could be that they want to limit the childs mobility from home to home at such a young age. Bringing up the hospital thing may or may not work for you. all parents make mistakes, and hopefully learn from them. The improper feeding doesnt make her unfit unless you can prove seh deliberately did it and is continuing to do it. If she is now correctly feeding the baby, then consider it her lesson learned.
    The temp order was from feb 08 until june 26, 08. The judge really didn't say anything. Just the standard questions. We actually settled and didn't go to trial. My atty felt I was getting as much as I could. I did exercise all my visitation. I tried to get more out of her but only at her convenience. Like only if she had to work late. And only up until the last couple of weeks I did all the transportation. The child support didn't come into effect until the judgment was signed and no retro. I guess I should be thankful of that. It just really gets to me that I am so willing to provide for my son but for what I can. So now I will most likely be forced into stopping my physical therapy, try to go back to 40 hr/wk. But my employer has already said that if I do full time then he wants the full time work from me which probably won't happen because of my disability then I will get fired. This job is a great position for me when I get back to being physically fit but in the meantime I might lose this job and then where does it help our son? She should have just took the child support based on my salary for now and not have to wonder if she is even going to get any.

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