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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    21

    Default California Mediation

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

    I'm going to be going back to court to amend the visitation since our last visit. The court order that is currently in place requires my ex-husband to call once a week at a set time and he is allowed visitation for a two week period time in the Summer. Since this new order has been in place, we've had many, many problems with consistency and my ex and I were warned by our mediator that there may come a time when our son doesn't want to see or speak to him again due his track record in terms of keeping in touch with our son and/or the broken promises over the last 9 years. We've been to court so many times over trying to keep his Dad consistently involved with his life and the mediator that we've had numerous times eluded to the fact the last time we were in court that this would be this is the last chance my ex gets before he recommends to the judget that all visitation is revoked. It seems the last straw for our son came when his Dad didn't call on his birthday this past weekend. He doesn't want anything to do with his Dad anymore.

    The last time we were in court, I went for sole custody, but the mediator wanted to give my ex one last shot, as I mentioned. Now that I'm going back to court for sole custody attempt number 2, is it in my best interest to have our son write a letter to the court/mediator explaining why he doesn't want to speak or see his father since he's still a minor (he's 11)? Being that his father is still supposed to call once a week, should I make our son pick up the phone when his Dad calls even if he doesn't want to speak to him even if it's just to say, "I don't want to talk to you" and hangs up - which I'm positive he'll do.

    Thank you for the guidance.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    98,846

    Default Re: California Mediation

    In my opinion, it would be highly inappropriate to have your son write such a letter. You don't need to put him in the middle of this.

    It sounds like your son would benefit from some counseling.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,948

    Thumbs down Re: California Mediation

    My advice is also do NOT do it.

    My XH just filed for custody of our daughter. He included in the filing a 5 page letter from our child where she says she wants to live with her dad. I hired a lawyer and the lawyer told me that the judge is going to be FURIOUS at X for including such a thing in the court records.

    The lawyer went on to say that IF the judge wanted to hear from the child it would ONLY be after the mediator made a recommendation for the judge to do so --- which would probably be after the mediator spoke to the child themselves or a guardian ad litem, CASA worker, etc.

    Let the process work at its own speed.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    21

    Default Re: California Mediation

    Thank you to both of you. It's very sound advice and I'm glad I talked to you first for advice.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,948

    Default Re: California Mediation

    Glad to have helped

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