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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    11

    Default Mother's Surname Vs. Father's Surname

    My question involves child support in the State of: TEXAS

    I'm currently 9 months pregnant. I'm in the process of filing for a divorce in the state of Texas. My question consists of the father of the child not being present throughout this whole pregnancy. I'm worried he will continue to have no intentions of being around the baby as well. In result I want to use my surname for the baby. There will be a paternity test issued-as my lawyer stated that this is incouraged. I agreed-who am I to argue with that? It proves he is in fact the father. Which I should add I have no doubt about. I did keet my last name when we decided to get married. I'm concerned that if I do use my surname that it will come back to haunt me in this whole divorce process (i.e. I might have to pay for a name change to the father's surname?, I will not be granted any support for the child?) Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I've been researching this for quite some time now, and just trying to make the best educated decision for the baby.
    My concerns for the baby are: I would not want the child to feel left out when he will have more connection with my family than the father's. I don't want it to be confusing for the child as he becomes older and does not understand why him and I don't have the same last name. I don't want it to be hurtful for the child to carry the father's name when I have no idea if he will want to be a part of his life.
    Thanks for any help.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Posts
    4

    Default Re: Mother's Surname Vs. Father's Surname

    I kept my surname during my marriage and it didn't have any affect on my divorce. I would think as long as you have the DNA evidence to link him to the child, the name is a moot point. My children have my surname and it doesn't really matter to them at all. The are 6 and 9 and they don't feel one way or the other about their last name and they know their father. They won't be confused unless it becomes an issue that you bring up to them.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    2,006

    Default Re: Mother's Surname Vs. Father's Surname

    My concerns for the baby are: I would not want the child to feel left out when he will have more connection with my family than the father's. I don't want it to be confusing for the child as he becomes older and does not understand why him and I don't have the same last name. I don't want it to be hurtful for the child to carry the father's name when I have no idea if he will want to be a part of his life.
    The concerns that you have are natural. But they are more of a moral as opposed to legal ones. If you think about it, if you give the child his last name and he has no part of the child's life, the child will have the same questions for you...ie..why don't I have the same last name as mommy. Name the baby what you want to.
    Many woman keep their surname in marriage and some use the hyphen version. Some who change their name and then divorce end up asking for it back in the divorce.
    The DNA doesn't lie. If it's his DNA, it's his child support payment. Period.

    There will be a paternity test issued-as my lawyer stated that this is incouraged. I agreed-who am I to argue with that? It proves he is in fact the father
    Ah, if you were legally married I hate to tell you but in the eyes of the law, your ex is the father. There are exceptions but my point is the soon to be ex is on the hook here. Make sure the ex is footing the bill for this.

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