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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    Default Caught Wife Cheating, Can't Afford A Divorce

    My question involves divorce in the State of:ny
    I haved lived in ny all my life ,my age is 56 years old wife 54, son 13
    met my future wife when she was 17
    Married for 24 years
    my son is now 13 years old
    before he was born things started to change with my wife and i
    after he was born when he was about 1 or 2 years old i was in basement
    i picked up on the baby momitor a phone call
    the second tome i taped it
    wife was talking to some guy she worked parttime for he started to
    he started to talk about a hotel visted they had she told him it did not happen
    i told her that i knew ,she said the guy was a nut case said he was on meds for mental problems
    i beleved her when she said it never happened i have good reason to beleve her
    over the years she started to change , she became rude un responsive ,
    she always did have a problem with affection but it got worse
    there were times not always but i go to hug her ,she was tired ,sweaty, had a headace reading the paper
    and so on always something , another thing she had a problem with saying i love you i told her it would be nice
    if she would say it back ,she said you know i love you so why do i have to say so ,also she said she did not
    like to be told what to do or say.funny thing this past year 07 for about a week and a half she started
    saying she loved me at different times i have a hearing problem times i did not hear her so she wanted
    an answear back she would repeat it.
    Now it gets good my son plays these online game sites like runescape he started to use other game sites a few times
    we had to tell him to watch his mouth whit some of the words he used , also i was worried about some other things
    on these sites since he was able to chat with other players i wanted to keep and eye on them you never know who they are
    any way i installed a key logger to keep watch ,
    i began to notice that when my wife was on line she would close down a web page or hide it when i was nearby
    plus she got very defensive when i joked around about her coming home late and that she was out more often,
    it was not uncommom for her to do so , ever since i have know her she was like this she was always shopping
    and going to different stores and stuff so i had no problem with that. anyway the logger picked up some strange
    things like a email site pluse passwords to get in so i checke on the webshots from the keylogger, i went into shock
    there was emails to and from a lover they talked about leaving me about her sex life wife this other guy ,the things
    they did , where they would meet
    the times when,
    also it seems this guy is still married and he was married once before she has made plans to introduce my son to him (as herfriends
    said so he can get to know him better)
    she has with the help of her friends to decive me into thinking that my sons godfather is friends with this guy so that
    he can meet him they are planning to have him as my sons sponser at his communiom in may which also would be deciving
    the church since he would have to be approved by the church and go to confession ethe event
    she has said to her friends about her emails with him how he thinks this is like meeting his son for the first time
    there have been other commets about these thing,
    Well i found out she was seeing this guy before my son was born they stopped seeing each other for some reason or other
    after the child was born, i almost died when i caught this she went in dec 07 to see this guy after all these years to ask him this
    she wanted to find out my sons family medical history from this guy (what does that tell you)i dont care as far as i am concern
    he is my son an always will be no matter what the law says i love him and i know he loves me.
    i raised him i stayed home to do so all these years my health is not that good heart problems, back , bad leg pains Diabetes
    deaf in one ear she gave me a allowence of a hundred dollars in case their was a problem ,
    i dont drive never have stopped working a year or so before he was born due to stress on the job and my heart condations i had tempory
    workers compensation before he was born it ran out she we agreed that i would stay home and raise him .
    about the age of 12 i looked for a job i got a few off the books could not do it due to medical problems (also its kind of hard to find work
    at my age 56) and no skills, i am not afraid to work .
    any way she does not know i know about all this also she said to her friend she does not want to wait 6 or 7 years for them to be
    together and i am going to try to keep this from my som he is to young 13 for this i know what it can do to him
    Any way i know this is to long here so what i need to know is what or how does ny law apply to me.
    i am under a lot of stress as of now i have no job no money except what she gives me i have no medical benifits i tried in the beginning when my first doctor had me on tenpory benfits but for some reason he would not support me when i tried things began to move to fast thing and they got lost in the shufflle. i lost my disire to eat i have thought of suicide i cant sleep at nite but i will hold on for my SON.
    thank you for your time

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    Default Re: Need Help Please A Long Story Here

    just wanted to say i know i have not been a god husband to her could have been much better made a lot of mistakes but i have never cheated or gave my love to anyone else i have tried my best which as i look back know was just terrible , i still love her and always will but i dont think i deserve to be treated this way i feel like i am in a side show for her and her friends one of them even made a remark that we should treat this as a novel, once again i will take a lot of the blame for this but its just not right

  3. #3
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    Apr 2008
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    Default Re: Need Help Please A Long Story Here

    one other thing i can not afford a lawyer in case of a divorce does the court provide one

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    755

    Default Re: Need Help Please A Long Story Here

    You're really going to need to edit that way down in order to get help here.
    The Judge more than likely wont want to read that, and neither do we
    Just the facts that are relevant to the question you have.

  5. #5
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    Apr 2008
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    Default Re: Need Help Please A Long Story Here

    ok i understand i was just trying to make everything clear

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: Need Help Please A Long Story Here

    The court only provides an a attorney to a criminal defendant.

    Divorce is a civil matter.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
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    Default Re: Caught Wife Cheating, Can't Afford A Divorce

    well that sinks me

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