Hi Dee
I feel your pain and so does everyone who's hooked up with an idiot. I can't explain it other than a mid life crisis. The only one to blame here lies with your husband. That doesn't make it hurt less. Time does heal wounds and it does get easier. I like to believe that everything happens for a reason and maybe the reason here is that you have sold yourself short of what you deserve. Since you took the comforting road here the first time, maybe its that the "love God's" are looking out for ya here. You deserve better than this and you should not tolerate it, accept it or continue living like this.
Get some professional help to deal with the immediate anger. It's natural. Do it for your kids and yourself.
This is never going to happen. Companies are for profit not for babysitting adults. Buddy systems have always existed and will continue to exist until it becomes sexual harrassment, then the company will intervene but thats a different matter. Your husband is a grown adult and is at free will to make his own decisions even if they are poor ones. It sucks but thats the way it is. He will not be considered the greatest catch by the next unsuspecting woman after he paycheck goes to you for child and spousal support. Get a good lawyer and quickly. One that is shark like in nature. Make sure that you are the plaintiff so he can answer to some alligations that are put on him.And just maybe the company would then at least have to look at their policies and procedures and be sure to find ways to prevent this kind of "buddy system" mentality and abuse of their company priveledges from continuing to exist in their workplace.
This is where I lose sympathy. He already cheated on you once and you witnessed the behavior of the coworkers at parties. Why were you surprized it happened again? Your anger is stemming from believing the loads of crap oozing from his pie hole. This is not the fault of the company, it belongs solely with the husband and not you for taking him back and believing him. Please for the sake of your children, get professional help and don't hesitate to send the bill to the ex. Don't make life comfortable for him again.I witnessed his married station manager pour tequilla shots for the 20-yr-old ramp agent at the Holiday Party who was hanging on him later on the dance floor, while his wife was not there. And I know about the other married supervisor who went on that trip and is NOW divorced. This is a I help you, you help me situation. My X told me tons of stories, some of which I saw, all the time playing that he was the "good one" there.
I'm sorry that this happened to you.

