Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 11
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    7

    Default Taking A Minor On Vacation Without Permission

    Hello, I'm newly registered but have lurked here before.

    Recently, my best friend and I (she is 16) took a trip to Disneyland. She lives with her step father (until yesterday, not her legal guardian) who is verbally abusive. She had finally had enough, and I offered her the opportunity to go on vacation (just me and her - I am 17). She accepted, with or without her stepfather's knowledge - unclear at this point - and we flew out last Friday, and back last Sunday, after having the time of our lives. We stayed at a hotel in Anaheim without incident. (We live in CA as well)

    Upon her return, her stepfather became so verbally abusive she attempted suicide by taking sleeping pills. After a brief stint in the psych unit, it was found that she could not be released after her 51-50 expired because her stepfather lacked custody of her. He went to family court yesterday and got custody, and she was released. He found out that we went to Disneyland after she told a police officer responding to the call of her overdosing on sleeping pills, who relayed the information to him.

    Today, I have been getting threatening phone calls from him, stating, among other things, "I'm gonna sue your family" and so fourth. I've called some of her other friends, and he has said this before to them. He has accused some of our mutual friends of being crack addicts, prostitutes, and drug dealers, all of which is obviously false. He's leaving me messages on my cell phone demanding to talk to my parents, so I played them for my mother, who told me it's best to just ignore it.

    My question - is it best to just ignore it? Does this man have any legal standing to sue? If so, based on what? He was not her legal guardian at the time we went to Disneyland, the airline did not ask for any form of parental consent, nor did the hotel. It was clear on our tickets that we were both minors, as we payed a youth fare and they verified it by our school ID.

    Does this man have any grounds to sue? She decided to go, I took her (and payed), we had fun, flew back, and all was well until he went off on a tangent against her.

    Side note: Since her suicide attempt, she has gone back to his household, and CPS has scheduled a follow-up.

    Any help is sincerely appreciated.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    2,006

    Default Re: Scary Time... Help Needed

    My question - is it best to just ignore it? Does this man have any legal standing to sue? If so, based on what?
    Whoever OWNS the phone service (you or your parents) who pays the monthly bill needs to answer on of his phone calls an tell him NOT to call the number anymore. If he does, file a police report. Then if he continues to call, do NOT answer. Save all VM messages if he leaves them. It is a federal offense (FCC) to harrass someone or threaten someone over the phone. Take this seriously. The police will call and tell him to not do it anymore and if he does, he can be prosecuted. You should also not contact him anymore.
    Anyone can sue anyone for anything so it's hard to say since we dont' know the whole story. I would say that you are "safe" because he did not have custody at this time. One option that you have is contacting the police officer that relayed the information to you. I'm sure he/she will be happy to assist you after seeing a teenager attempt suicide. Play the messages that he has left and let him make the decision as to how to handle it.
    Keep your friend close, she needs you right now.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: Taking A Minor On Vacation Without Permission

    Wha?

    a 17 year old boy takes a 16 year old girl away for a weekend in a hotel room and you tell him to keep her CLOSER?

    At the very least, he committed interference with custody... though the stepfather's status as guardian makes that murky.

    This was a bonehead play. I can assure you that if someone took my 16 year old daughter away for the weekend without telling me or telling me where she was, threatening phone calls would be the least of his worries.

    Did you two do the "Mickey and Minnie" while you were in the Magic Kingdom?

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,948

    Default Re: Taking A Minor On Vacation Without Permission

    How do you know OP is a male? I read the original post as if two girlfriends snuck off to disneyland together... Would that change your thought process at all?

    I'm really surprised that they could get on a plane without an adult to check them in - same with the hotel - but I don't see a crime. 17 is still not 18 - so they acted like idiots together by not checking in with the adults....but that is not breaking the law - is it?

    Making threats like the 'father' is doing is a real crime and should be reported.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,948

    Default Re: Taking A Minor On Vacation Without Permission

    oops - just read the OP again. Calling to say he is going to sue you is not a crime... but if he is threatening violence THEN he should be reported.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    2,006

    Default Re: Taking A Minor On Vacation Without Permission

    a 17 year old boy takes a 16 year old girl away for a weekend in a hotel room and you tell him to keep her CLOSER?
    I did not read this as a boy at all and looking back it does not state. I made this statement based on a girlfriend helping out another girlfriend and either way, yes I would say that if a 16 year old attempts suicide and is locked in a psych unit that advice would not change. She clearly has issues and the friend is someone they can talk to.
    At the very least, he committed interference with custody... though the stepfather's status as guardian makes that murky.
    Not based on the OP who said it was unclear if there was permission. Custody was not established per the hospital who made the correct choice in not releasing the child to the step father. I would find it hard to believe based on the post that interference could be proven.
    I can assure you that if someone took my 16 year old daughter away for the weekend without telling me or telling me where she was, threatening phone calls would be the least of his worries.
    This is apples and oranges. You would know that your daughter was missing or gone for the weekend and custody would clearly be established. The step father didn't know it until after the police officer told him that they were in DL. There may have been a missing persons report but we don't know per the post.

    The OP I guess needs to clairfy some as to if he is a male or female as it clearly changes things

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Taking A Minor On Vacation Without Permission

    In response to the questions, I am male, but my best friend is female, and has a (2-year) boyfriend. So "Mickie and Minnie" isn't an issue here. And yes, my girlfriend knew we were going and thought it was nice of me to take her.

    As for a missing person's report, I found out later that her stepfather did file one, but he also filed one when she spent the night at one of her friends houses in the same town and was gone for about 12 hours. In that case, he knew where she was, but was verbally abusing her and she again needed time to get away.

    Most people don't understand the complexity of our friendship. While not totally relevant, we are both quite mature for our age, and are university-bound honor roll seniors. We understand everything about each other and have known each other for years. Yeah, I realize it was a "bonehead move" to go, but she really needed to get away.

    As for us being able to check in, I booked the tickets with my debit card, booked the hotel with a debit card, and checked in with my JC-ID card (which is better that checking in with my high school ID LOL). We were informed by the TSA that since we were under 18, we didn't even need photo ID! I take that to be correct because flying back from Orange County, they said the same thing.

    As another side note, I have kept her closer than ever. But when she was in the psych unit, I would call her and we would talk. It was heartbreaking to hear what had happened: her stepfather had dropped her off at the Emergency Room, and didn't see her again until Thursday when she was released. So I would call her every day to talk to her, because he wouldn't tell people where she was. Since she was a minor in a psych unit, hospitals aren't even allowed to disclose if she is a patient! So I called all hospitals and asked them to relay my number if she was a patient there. I finally got a call back from her and got the Medical Record Number, so that they can transfer me directly to her room. Well, apparently her stepfather somehow got wind of this, and asked the hospital not to allow her any incoming calls except for him. Realizing he was not the legal guardian (and totally insane) the hospital did not honor this request.

    Onwards...

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    2,006

    Default Re: Taking A Minor On Vacation Without Permission

    First things first...
    Since she was a minor in a psych unit, hospitals aren't even allowed to disclose if she is a patient! So I called all hospitals and asked them to relay my number if she was a patient there.
    This has NOTHING to do with being a minor. The same rule applies to adults. It's to protect the patients right to privacy. She could have been a victim of DV in a medical unit and she would have been treated the same. This can also be done upon the patients request. The hospital acted COMPLETELY in the right here. Espically the part where you say they realized he was not her guardian and allowed her phone privilages.
    Bravo to you for being smart enough to reach her.

    I completely understand your platonic relationship. I still have mine from the 5th grade. We have never had anything but a friendship that was brother/sister in nature. We are not as close now but you can bet your behind that I called him on 2/29 to wish him a happy 10th birthday (he is a leap year baby). Keep your friend close, and just try to be there the best you can.

    If the police do get involved, PLEASE do not speak to them without your parents being there. It is your right and although you seem very mature for your age, you are still naive to the system. I do think however if you did not know that she did not have permission to go that you will not get in trouble here. Your friend really needs to find a way to not disappear as it is just going to end her in more trouble.

    Not relavent to case but why is the step monster her guardian?...there has to be at least one blood relative somewhere?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: Taking A Minor On Vacation Without Permission

    I want to state, for the record, that unless the OP has hidden an advanced psychology or social work degree, he has no business deciding what another minor needs or doesn't need in terms of mental health.

    His observations of the situation mean nothing. Her suicide attempt screamed for more help than a trip to Disney and a warm hug can provide.

    Even if this is a purely platonic relationship, no one has any right to remove a minor from her primary residence without the prior consent of her legal guardian.

    That doesn't change whether it is her BFF, her boyfriend, her non custodial parent or the neighborhood pedophile.

    If her father went so far as to file a missing person's report, this has gone WAYYY past the "she needed a break so we went for a Dumbo ride" stage.

    The ONLY things that are saving the OP's butt in this case are the fact that he is a minor himself and that he didn't cross state lines.

    If either or both of those circumstances had been breached, he would already be in a cell.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    9,096

    Default Re: Taking A Minor On Vacation Without Permission

    One last point...

    I think it ironic that you feel isolated and worried about your friend when you are separated from her.

    Imagine it was your child from whom you were separated.

    Personally, I believe it is right and proper for the guardians of this child to cut off all contact with a person that believes he has the right to remove the child from their care whenever he believes such an action is warranted.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Taking Grandchild to Another State on Vacation
    By Sandybhm in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 05-24-2011, 06:07 PM
  2. Theft and Larceny: Time Limit to Press Charges Against Son for Taking Father's Car Without Permission
    By Terry1234 in forum Criminal Charges
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-18-2011, 06:55 AM
  3. Getting Fired: Fired For Taking Vacation Despite Initial Approval of Time Off
    By gibbywmu in forum Employment and Labor
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 02-22-2010, 11:19 AM
  4. Mother Won't Consent To Me Taking Our Daughter On Overseas Vacation
    By coloradodad08 in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 04-15-2008, 01:38 PM
  5. Getting Fired: Fired for taking vacation days
    By Wes in forum Employment and Labor
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 03-05-2005, 10:31 AM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources