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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
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    6

    Default Children In Environment Of Substance Abuse

    When my children are with their father everyother weekend, he continuously smokes marijuana and drinks alcohol. He was ordered by the judge that he should not drink while he had the children. I have contacted the GAL, social services, and the local police department over the last 2 years, and nobody seems to care that my children are in this environment.

    Apparently, I am an "interested party," and thanks to all of the people who have lied about allegations, people telling the truth are presumed to be liars, and my children are at risk in this environment.

    Can anyone offer any advice on what I can do to protect my children? They are 6 and 3, and we live in Wisconsin.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
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    2,031

    Default Re: Children In Environment Of Substance Abuse

    Quote Quoting mom2002
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    When my children are with their father everyother weekend, he continuously smokes marijuana and drinks alcohol. He was ordered by the judge that he should not drink while he had the children. I have contacted the GAL, social services, and the local police department over the last 2 years, and nobody seems to care that my children are in this environment.

    Apparently, I am an "interested party," and thanks to all of the people who have lied about allegations, people telling the truth are presumed to be liars, and my children are at risk in this environment.

    Can anyone offer any advice on what I can do to protect my children? They are 6 and 3, and we live in Wisconsin.

    How do you know he is doing these things?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Children In Environment Of Substance Abuse

    I know because my daughter has told me these things. I have the insight to realize that it is not in the best interest of my children to use them as my personal informants. However, my daughter will say things like "my daddy drinks the beer with the horse on the bottle," (she likes horses). She also has had a drug free week at school and said "daddy has tools like that at his house," and "what is that shreddy stuff on a plate" and has drawn pictures of water bongs.

    Her father has a 20 year history of felony drug convictions. He has multiple DUIs, and was abusive to all of us. I wanted to work things out because I believe that marriage is a life-long committment. I asked him to complete a rehab program and counseling, and offered to get counseling for myself and the children as well. He refused, and continued to torment us to the point that my 4 year old began wetting the bed (something that she had never done, even in potty training 2 and a half years earlier), and having night terrors. I got a restraining order for our protection, and he viewed that as the ultimate betrayal and loss of control, and filed for a divorce.

    I don't want legal trouble for him. I have never, and never would frustrate his ability to have a relationship with our children. I want our children in a safe environment. I want them to grow up to be a contribution to society and not a detriment. There is a ton of evidence-based literature to support the idea that homes filled with substance abuse are harmful for children. It is a tragedy that they cannot be protected by the law, or their own mother for that matter.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    2,006

    Default Re: Children In Environment Of Substance Abuse

    If I had a nickel for everytime I heard this story.

    I wish I had better answers to this ever growing problem. Your stuck unless you can prove and get him arrested for placing your children in danger. Continue to call every single time that your child reports it to you. The court sees him as an equal parent. You've done everything that your supposed to do.
    Any chance he's willing to go into treatment? I know silly question, but please amuse me.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    6

    Default Re: Children In Environment Of Substance Abuse

    He is not willing to get treatment. He does not see it as a problem. In addition, his family supports the notion that he "can do no wrong," and that I am the crazy one for "betraying" him. He is nice and safe in a soft cocoon, while he continues to place our children in a harmful environment, as well as use profanity and other abusive language towards me in front of them. Meanwhile, our children suffer.

    Honestly, if I would have known this would happen, I would have stayed married to him. Gigirle, thank you for the supportive response. It makes me feel like maybe I haven't fallen into the twilight zone after all.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    2,006

    Default Re: Children In Environment Of Substance Abuse

    Honestly, if I would have known this would happen, I would have stayed married to him.
    So you can continue to teach your children that this way of life is the way you succeed? Hold your head strong, sooner or later he will do something stupid again and you will be okay. He's had a 20 year problem, that doesn't go away overnight. I've sent you a pm.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    3

    Post Re: Children In Environment Of Substance Abuse

    My x-husband was and is a druggie my advise is to stop worrying about how legal you DONT want to make it.,think about your children find a way not to invite those types into your childs life....i unfortuanatly didnt in time and now my son has so many emotional issues because of what happens when people use drugs or drinking. while you may not think your child is in danger think about the time where he passes out from being to high or drunk and cant protect your children or even cares..go to your local police atation ask if there is a domestic violence officer and let them know whats going on. Dont be afraid be strong for your children, nobody is worth the safety of your children.

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