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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    5

    Default Custodial Parent Having Problems With Ex

    I am the custodial parent of my daughter whom will be 5 years old this month. Her father does not have much to do with her and does not go by his visitation rights, he just wants her when itís convenient for him, and even when she goes to see him, and he does not take care of her at all. He has a pit bull, a rockwhiler and a red tail boa constrictor snake (my daughter is terrified by them). He lives in Florida, we live in Georgia. I am remarried and my husband now is in the military. We are moving to another location in Georgia, which is approximately 5 hours away from my current location in Georgia now. My daughterís biological father is living 2 ours at the most away from us now. He called on Christmas and that day I was sick with a virus and ended up in the emergency room. (Donít worry, I'm trying to get to the point, but right now I am HOT).... He got mad b/c I did not "let" my daughter call him on that day. Isn't it his place to call anyway?? He calls me from a private number about an hour ago, for the first time since
    December the 26th saying that he got Legal advice saying that for him to go as long as he could without calling her for a month. What is this about? Okay, I really need some advice. He's saying that he has phone records that I did not call him to let our daughter talk to him for a month. Letís not mention that he hardly ever calls her anyway. His motorcycle is in my fatherís name, which he was supposed to take care of that after the divorce, which was almost 3 years ago. He was supposed to pay alimony of 150$ even after I was remarried and did not and pay for my insurance, but never did (he is military, too) - I have almost 7,000$ in doctor bills that he did not pay and he agreed to it. I have bent over backwards to try to help my ex out by taking our daughter to him, the times that he did want to see her and meeting him half way and it's not my place to, but I am not a mean person. It seems now; I am going to have to be. My husband now wants to adopt my daughter, and I even mentioned this to my ex on the phone when he called today (Feb 2nd). He said it's an insult and if he was a dead beat dad, he could understand, but that it's not happening. What do you call him then? He doesn't care anything about her. I just need some advice and right now I am so mad that I'm just typing everything that comes to my mind, so this probably doesn't make much sense, but will someone PLEASE help me.
    Thank you .... Very much.:mad:

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,948

    Default Re: Custodial Parent Needing ADVICE ~ KBGA

    If he is allowed phone access to his daughter - unless it states otherwise in your divorce decree - it is completely his responsibility as the father to initiate contact with his child. It is not your job to make the calls on your daughter's behalf.

    You need to keep in mind that visitation/custody are completely separate from support - and he is entitled to see her regardless of him paying on time or as promised. As far as his not paying you for medical bills or spousal support - was this spelled out in the decree? If it was, you should contact the court and let them know he is in contempt by not abiding by the order. Base Legal can help you do this. If you do not have this agreement in writing you are going to have a very rough time collecting.

    As far as your new husband adopting the child - I doubt it can/will happen. The father does not have to be a good parent but he still has rights. You would need his complete cooperation to have him surrender his status.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: Custodial Parent Having Problems With Ex

    Thank you for your reply. I greatly appreciate it!
    It is in my divorce decree, stating
    "The Husband shall provide similar accident, sickness and dental insurance for the Wife for the rest of her life" This is EXACTLY what is writen. I am looking at the divorce decree as I am typing this to you. - (keep in mind, after this decree ... this is when I did not have insurance and this is when these 7,000$ worth of hospital bills racked up) So, should he have to pay that?

    He does not ever go by his visitation rights. He has seen her probably 6 times in the past year. When he calls me, at his conveince, of course - I let him see her, but that is hardly ever. Like I said - He had not contacted her in a month from Dec 26th until today which is Feb 2nd. I felt it was not my place to have her call him. I felt right thinking that he was the one who should be calling her all this time, but the fact that he threw out there to me that he went and asked for "Legal Advice" .. and they told him, well this is what he said to me... exactly .. that " for him to hold off as long as he could and to see how long it took for me to contact him, by letting my daughter call." He has my number, and if I've ever changed it, he is the first person I call to give it to him, so he would have contact with my daughter.

    I realize he has every right to see her, it's just the whole point in him... not ever wanting to see her.. so we do not have a set schedule b/c he never gets her when he is supposed to. The last day he saw her was December 26th.

    There is so much in the divorce decree that he has not done - but yet, it says here in writing what he is ordered to do. Like, Alimony - for a year, no matter what - NEVER PAID IT. and His motorcycle that my father helped him get by co-signing - My fathers name was never removed...and was supposed to be
    and the insurance thing with me.

    So, I appreciate your help and any other advice you can give me - I really need your help and anyone.... else.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    1,948

    Default Re: Custodial Parent Having Problems With Ex

    Complete BS - what lawyer is going to tell someone to avoid their 5 year old?? He is just trying to scare you. Since he did not provide you with the insurance as required then the medical bills fall to him.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: Custodial Parent Having Problems With Ex

    Quote Quoting 525601minutes
    View Post
    Complete BS - what lawyer is going to tell someone to avoid their 5 year old?? He is just trying to scare you. Since he did not provide you with the insurance as required then the medical bills fall to him.
    Ha! Thank you.... so much!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    California
    Posts
    64

    Default Re: Custodial Parent Having Problems With Ex

    Hi

    Some advice:

    1. Create a calendar of the last year's worth of visits and phone calls.

    2. Make copies of your medical bills.

    3. File a Motion for a change in visitation based on the current visitation that your ex actually participates in. Write a detailed parenting plan with the responsibility for calling on your ex. Detailed means you put down in writing all the visitation and other parenting issues so that each person can refer to it and there won't be any confusion. And let the parenting plan be neutrally written.

    For instance:
    A. non-custodial parent shall have 30 minutes every Monday from 5:30 Pm to 6:00 PM for a phone call. The phone call shall be the responsibility of the non-custodial parent to initiate.

    B. holidays will be shared as follows: Memorial Day on even numbered years with custodial parent, odd number years with non-custodial parent. [fill in all the holidays/vacation you want to share with him]

    C. non-custodial parent shall keep snake in a controlled environment when child is with non-custodial parent.

    4. File another motion for contempt at the same time. Contempt is for his refusal to pay alimony and your medical bills since he refused to carry insurance on you. You have sent him the bills with a request to pay, right?

    5. Court requires evidence. Letters to the Ex requesting reimbursement for medical bills, calendar of missed visitation, etc.

    Don't forget that you must file this in the court that has jurisdiction, in other words, where you got divorced. If it's in Florida, then you will have to go there. Maybe you'll be lucky and let you move jurisdiction to where you live.

    Bird Brain

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    755

    Default Re: Custodial Parent Having Problems With Ex

    Just curious, and a slight tangent....
    What if he can't provide insurance for you? My ex's lawyer tried getting me to do that, and still cries about me not getting insurance for my ex every time I go back to court.
    It's not legal for me to carry my ex wife on my plan.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Posts
    5

    Default Re: Custodial Parent Having Problems With Ex

    The thing is... now I have insurance. My husband now just recently joined the military and now, we have benefits. Insurance is so expensive, and I am aware of this, but he my ex did sign to pay for my insurance for the rest of my life, he agreed to that. All I'm asking for is that he have to pay those doctor bills before I had insurance, which, now that I look at them - they are more than 7,000$. I mean, it's only fair. He agreed to this and signed! But, I did not have the bills sent to him for a request to pay, because he will not pay them. I guess I will have to go further with it. Is that what you suggest?

    Thank you for the advice, I am definitely going to take all of this into consideration. I have been TOO nice, for TOO long. It is time to do something b/c I do pay 25$ a month on my medical bills, but you know for a while I did not and that effects my credit. This is correct, right?

    Thank you again... all of you!

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