Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    24

    Post Chances Of Changing A Visitation Order

    I live in NJ, NCP lives in PA. I had left with our son (now 4) due to documented mental and physical abuse and drug use. Then he had not seen or attempted to support his son for (2) years. He filed for modification this May 2007, and won a reduction in support and visitation. The judge stated "It does not matter if a father is a good father or a bad father, every child deserves a father no matter what he does." The visitation is the 1st Sunday of every month, supervised for 2 hours at a park next to a police station where I currently live. Also 15 min phone conversation every Sunday at 630pm.

    He had showed for one visit in July 2007. In the order, he is supposed to give notice if he is not going to come for visitation - he has not done at all. Since he has not made good on child support, I had to close my home phone. I gave him my cell number instead. He had not called since 8/2007 until a few days ago. However, within this period, death threats were sent to my cell phone from his number. Police reports were filed.

    Now, this Sunday, he called at *exactly* 630 to speak with his son. I lied, and told him he was asleep. My son is afraid of him, and all of the *in* *out* has completely confused him. He now threatened me saying that I have denied him phone conversation because I closed my landline account, and I kidnapped his son because I will not drive 3 hours to bring my son to him to visit - I am following the court order.

    He said he was going to have me arrested, however I did nothing wrong. How can I get this order modified, and will they do it? I wanted the father to have random drug testing, and parenting classes before visitation was initiated, however that was denied. I do not want my son to be hurt anymore.

    What can I do?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    755

    Default Re: Chances Of Changing A Visitation Order

    File a restraining order?
    Death threats now, and a prior history should get the job done.
    I don't know how you could go back, and modify the existing order. The father already gets almost no time with your child. (although the restraining order will trump the visitation order I believe)
    Truth be told, the courts can't MAKE the father contact the child.
    Don't put your child in the middle of it. He's only 4? And afraid of dad? There needs to be a reason for that. Your son must be hearing you talk about the father, and THAT'S why he's afraid.
    I mean, I don't mean to sound like your at fault here, I don't know, but, at child who's 4 years old, has minimal contact with dad, and the contact he does have, is with mom within a few feet, there's no reason to be afraid, unless he hears YOU being afraid.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    24

    Default Re: Chances Of Changing A Visitation Order

    I do not talk about his father in front of him, if I talk to my mother or sister about things that are going on, he is already in bed.

    My son remembers a lot - and I do not know how he does. When the judge ordered that he be allowed to see our son at court that day, he started shaking and crying and he threw up. He had nightmares and wet his bed for a few weeks after this.

    His father used to lock him in the closet when he was 1-2 years old (right before I we left) so he could get high. I caught him doing this. To this day, he is afraid of being behind a closed door.

    When he sees a man similar in appearance, he always says "Why did daddy hit you when I was in the cage (crib?)... and I cry". I told him it was just a bad dream (although it was not).

    He thinks all daddy's are bad - and his mind is set. This is NOT what a 4 year old should be thinking, or be going through. I am very concerned about him.

    Yes, the visitation is 'limited', however, I have to have him at the park (now it's really cold) every 1st Sunday - because "what if" he would actually show. It's not fair for us to have to wait around.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Chances Of Changing A Visitation Order

    You are intentionally violating the visitation order. If you want the judge to have sympathy for your claims if you go back to court, you need to stop.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    24

    Default Re: Chances Of Changing A Visitation Order

    I only denied him one phone call - after he had not contacted him for months and after he started making threats via text messages. I have been consistantly taking him to his "visitations" since June, but the father only showed up for one. I am not sure how to take this back to court or how to file for a modification. I have gotten the run around from the system and, and everyone seems to think "poor father" and will not tell me what I need to do. I thought the system is supposed to protect the my son

    I am asking for assistance to advise me on what I need to do in order to modify an order in court.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    755

    Default Re: Chances Of Changing A Visitation Order

    Ok,
    Walk into the court house. Ask anyone who works there where you need to start to file modification papers on a pre existing visitation order.
    Do what they tell you. Go where they tell you. You need to have a "significant change in circumstances", which you do, because the father has stopped showing up.
    Get a court date.
    Show up to court.
    Tell them you want a phone call from the father the day of visitation, confirming that he is going to show up. If no phone call, then you don't go.
    If he calls, and doesn't show up, well, I dunno where to go from that point.
    Until you get the order changed, you are legally responsible to do what it says. Just because he isn't doing them, doesn't mean you get to not do them too. That won't help you in court.
    You say you only talk about dad after son goes to bed. Kids have good ears, and he may not be sleeping.
    You also said your child was at the court house. Get a babysitter. There's never a reason for a small child to be in a courtroom.
    Consider counseling for you AND your son.
    It's only advice, don't get mad if it's something you don't want to hear.
    Good luck.
    Oh, and the "system" isn't supposed to protect your son. You are. Don't rely on the system for that. The system sucks ( for the most part anyway )

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    24

    Default Re: Chances Of Changing A Visitation Order

    Thank you.
    I had gone to the court house prior to posting, however they told me that I couldn't do anything - and I do not understand why. That is why I am asking for advice. If they will not advise me on what paperwork I need to file, I do not know what to do. I more than qualify for legal aid, however they told me that they have a "shortage" of attorneys, and they do not consider this important enough.

    Unfortunatly, I do not have a babysitter, but my courthouse has a special center to place the children so they are not in the middle. I wish I did not have to bring him at all - but I do not have a support system of any kind. I would have left him in daycare, but it was an unpaid day at work, and I could not afford the gas for (2) 1 hour trips and have gas for the rest of the week to get to work. It's sad, but the truth.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Similar Threads

  1. Modification of Custody: Changing a Visitation Order
    By deelight74 in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 07-19-2011, 06:18 AM
  2. Modified Support Order and the Chances of Obtaining a Passport Now
    By Emilie in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 02-26-2011, 12:13 PM
  3. Modification of Custody: Changing Visitation to Supervised Visitation Only
    By sandals in forum Child Custody, Support and Visitation
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 08-05-2010, 10:52 AM
  4. Chances of Judge Dropping a Protection Order
    By Hotslicks in forum Orders of Protection
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 02-16-2009, 03:43 PM
  5. Post-Conviction Relief: Chances of Judge Lifting a No Contact Order After Appeal
    By qwerty93 in forum Criminal Procedure
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 10-21-2007, 07:33 PM
 
 
Sponsored Links

Legal Help, Information and Resources