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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    3

    Default Domestic assault charge

    Hi all
    I am in need of some advice on a domestic assault charge against me. Here is some info leading up to the charge. I had a sexual relationship with a girl at the start of this year. We slept together a few times. I really was not attracted to her and told her that we should be friends. The sexual relationship ended there. Bout a month later we decided to move to a bigger city, as it would be better for both of us. We moved and both leased (6mo) a 2bedroom place. On the 6th of October my roommate told me that she had a friend from back home who wanted to move and she wanted to move with her. She put it to me like either I can move before the end of the month or she was leaving anyways. After a heated argument I told her that I had planned to fulfill my part of the contract and if she wanted to leave that was up to her. I then told her that I did not want to talk to her again and shut my bedroom door and didn’t talk to her. She proceeded to continue to ask me to move while talking to the door. Again the next day she kept asking me to move. I did not talk to her that day either. Sunday I come home from turkey dinner and she has a note asking for my decision. I write on the note "I have already told you what to do...WTF???" The next day she comes home and we do not talk for bout 15 min....I leave my room and have a smoke on the balcony. She then comes to the balcony door asking me for my decision. I do not answer the first time she again asks. I say, "I have already told you what to do. If you want to break your contract go ahead and that it was not very nice to expect me to move when told on the 6th and to decide what I am doing on the 6th” She come back and says "well move on the 6th then" After that I told her I was not going to move and she should be responsible for her part of the rent if I can not find another roommate. She gets mad at me and tells me to go F*** myself...she will not pay. I am like ok well I go to the RT office and see what they will do. She tells me to get screwed. I then stand up from sitting and point my finger at her (about 2 arms lengths away) and proceed to tell her that she is rude, mean, a big city girl that is a snob/ b*tch. She then hits/jabs my hand with her keys. She then throws her keys at me hitting me in the chest. Right after that I slapped her. Not hard but a open handed slap on her cheek, it was reaction to her hitting me as it was less than a second after she through the keys...I did not go after her in anyway in fact she kept coming after me.

    So my questions are:
    Is this self-defense? The cop didn’t think so (as I am a little bit bigger than her, not much) hence me being charged and not her. What are my chances on beating this as self-defense?

    What is the difference between domestic and just regular assault? Is it true if once you sleep with someone that even years or months later and you have broken up. That anything that happens between the people it is treated as a domestic issue.

    Is it domestic assault to point your finger and say your mind? At no time did I threaten her

    Why is it that a girl can hit you and not get charged? How much abuse should a man take? And at what point am I allowed to defend myself?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    3

    Default Forgot to say I am Canadian and in BC

    Forgot to say I am Canadian and in BC

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Behind a Desk
    Posts
    98,846

    Default Re: Domestic assault charge

    I don't think self-defense will fly. You would have to establish that you were in fear of injury, and responded in a manner appropriate to that fear. A jury is not likely to believe that you were in fear when you slapped the woman, and seems likely to infer that your motivation was anger, not fear.

    Domestic violence suggests that you were actively or formerly members of the same household. Often there are sentencing alternatives for domestic violence charges to help people avoid having a criminal conviction from a first offense (and sometimes a subsequent offense).

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    3

    Default

    Thank you Mr Knowitall for the quick reply.

    One thing you did not comment on is why is she allowed to strike me in anger and start hitting and throwing things and have no consequence's to her actions?

    My reaction by slapping her was really only a reaction to her getting mad and hitting me with her keys and comming after me. Not anger or fear...a reaction. I know its wrong to hit girls and I should of tried to walk away(I had tried by trying not to talk to her as she kept comming after me to move).

    I guess im puzzled to why I am the only one looking at a crimminal record and possible jail time, when what I did was no worse than what she did. She was the one that swung at me first

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Discrimination in Charging

    There seems to be a double standard that persists in some police departments.

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