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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    7

    Default Can Stay-At-Home Mom Be Forced To Work

    Hello,

    I have 2 young children with my partner of 10 years. He is self-employed and makes about $120 K per year. I am his partitime bookkeeer. He stated he wanted me as a stay-at-home mom till the kids are teenagers and he signed a paper stating this.

    He suddenly became addicted to porn, financed a 2-seater car and left us for a prostitute. He is 58 years old, and he confirmed that he is using no birth control with the new lady. He said he wants to fire me from his business and wants me to get employed within 6 months. He did not report about $30K on his tax forms, and is pretending business is getting very bad.

    Can I force him to uphold that I am to be a stay-at-home mother?

    What about his pretending that business is bad...he even said that he will have a "back accident" to lower child support payments.

    Currently, he is paying good money because I told him I would report him for fraud.
    tina California

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,652

    Default Re: Can Stay-at-home Mom Is Be Forced To Work

    Quote Quoting trisha123
    View Post
    Hello,

    I have 2 young children with my partner of 10 years. He is self-employed and makes about $120 K per year. I am his partitime bookkeeer. He stated he wanted me as a stay-at-home mom till the kids are teenagers and he signed a paper stating this.

    He suddenly became addicted to porn, financed a 2-seater car and left us for a prostitute. He said he wants to fire me from his business and wants me to get employed within 6 months. He did not report about $30K on his tax forms, and is pretending business is getting very bad.

    Can I force him to uphold that I am to be a stay-at-home mother?
    No.

    Quote Quoting trisha123
    View Post

    What about his pretending that business is bad...he even said that he will have a "back accident" to lower child support payments.

    Currently, he is paying good money because I told him I would report him for fraud.
    tina California
    So you are making him pay you good money or you will report him?

    Sounds like extortion.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Can Stay-at-home Mom Is Be Forced To Work

    Sounds to me like you will be working soon Trish. . .

  4. #4

    Default Re: Can Stay-at-home Mom Is Be Forced To Work

    The difference between the legal protections you COULD have been afforded, and those that you will now find alarmingly lacking rests primarily in the lack of two words, namely, "I do".

    The concept and purpose of marriage isn't just a committment, it's the creation of legal standing within the partnership. Those who choose to live outside it's protections often find themselves in similar, unfortunate, circumstances; with little or nothing to show after many years, and with little obligation from the financially sound partner to maintain the lifestyle of the non-financially sound partner, not to mention any division of assets, insurance coverage, etc. You might try contacting a family law attorney to find out about common law marriage in your state (which you don't mention so it's hard to give specifics) to see if there is any possibility of alimoney, in addition to the child support (which you should get court-ordered).

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    7

    Default Re: Can Stay-At-Home Mom Be Forced To Work

    Happy Trails,

    Extortion? Get real...this man left me with the possiblilty of VD which took 6 months to get the final results, is pretending to have back problems, and my children cry several nights a week. He has spent $28, ooo in one year on his affair. I am protecting my family's money and protecting my children's future, and you say its extortion?? I was loyal for 10 years, a great mother, and took great care of his business, and you tell me this is exgtortion?

    Perhaps I should not do this, perhaps I should let him spend all the money and let me live in poverty, and this will free up several more thousand dollars to be used on adult escort services. Would that make you happier, Happy Trails?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    2,031

    Default Re: Can Stay-At-Home Mom Be Forced To Work

    Main Entry: ex·tort
    Pronunciation: \ik-ˈstȯrt\
    Function: transitive verb
    Etymology: Latin extortus, past participle of extorquēre to wrench out, extort, from ex- + torquēre to twist — more at torture
    Date: 15th century
    : to obtain from a person by force, intimidation, or undue or illegal power

    Seems like extortion to me as well...

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    755

    Default Re: Can Stay-At-Home Mom Be Forced To Work

    Well, concerning the kids, whether you are married or not is irrelevant. He is the father.
    If your w-2 says you make roughly 30k a year, and you lose your job, the courts will expect you to make close to that when you get another job( when it comes to CS calculation ). If he is making 120k a year, and you have the financial documents to prove it, then thats what the child support will be based on.
    If you want to protect "your money", then open a new bank account, with just your name on it, and move it there. If you still have access to financial documents that would be relevant to child support and alimony, make copies, put them in a safe deposit box.
    Save your emails you get from him.
    And about the extortion thing, yes, it's extortion. It doesn't make it "ok" because your are trying to protect you and your kids. But keep this in mind. If he calls your bluff, and you turn him in, you could also go down with him. If he owes the IRS 10k, and you filed "married filing jointly", you are also responsible. IRS doesn't care what's going on at home.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,652

    Default Re: Can Stay-At-Home Mom Be Forced To Work

    Quote Quoting trisha123
    View Post
    Happy Trails,

    Extortion? Get real...this man left me with the possiblilty of VD which took 6 months to get the final results, is pretending to have back problems, and my children cry several nights a week. He has spent $28, ooo in one year on his affair. I am protecting my family's money and protecting my children's future, and you say its extortion?? I was loyal for 10 years, a great mother, and took great care of his business, and you tell me this is exgtortion?

    Perhaps I should not do this, perhaps I should let him spend all the money and let me live in poverty, and this will free up several more thousand dollars to be used on adult escort services. Would that make you happier, Happy Trails?
    You need to do things through a legal process. What you describe doesn't sound legal.

    California extortion law.

    You want what's best for your children, then you take him to court for child support. Keep in mind that you also have an obligation to support your children.

    FAMILY.CODE SECTION 3900-3902

    3900. Subject to this division, the father and mother of a minor
    child have an equal responsibility to support their child in the
    manner suitable to the child's circumstances

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    2,652

    Default Re: Can Stay-At-Home Mom Be Forced To Work

    Quote Quoting Dad2
    View Post
    Well, concerning the kids, whether you are married or not is irrelevant. He is the father.
    If your w-2 says you make roughly 30k a year, and you lose your job, the courts will expect you to make close to that when you get another job( when it comes to CS calculation ). If he is making 120k a year, and you have the financial documents to prove it, then thats what the child support will be based on.
    If you want to protect "your money", then open a new bank account, with just your name on it, and move it there. If you still have access to financial documents that would be relevant to child support and alimony, make copies, put them in a safe deposit box.
    Save your emails you get from him.
    And about the extortion thing, yes, it's extortion. It doesn't make it "ok" because your are trying to protect you and your kids. But keep this in mind. If he calls your bluff, and you turn him in, you could also go down with him. If he owes the IRS 10k, and you filed "married filing jointly", you are also responsible. IRS doesn't care what's going on at home.
    ...and if she knew of the fraud and they filed jointly knowing, she is just as guilty.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    2,031

    Default Re: Can Stay-At-Home Mom Be Forced To Work

    Quote Quoting Happy Trails
    View Post
    ...and if she knew of the fraud and they filed jointly knowing, she is just as guilty.
    I guess she didn't like me posting the definition of Extort...Nice pm I received...

    Private Message: response
    Today, 04:20 PM
    trisha123
    Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2007
    Posts: 4

    response

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Your priorities are severely distorted. Are you into porno? Do you spend your children's money on affairs, prostitutes? Good lord, your values are severely in trouble.

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