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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    New jersey

    Default Emotional Distress After Being Abandoned By Parents

    I am sorry for this being so long but I just needed to ask someone about this ...

    Although I really didn't want to do this.. I feel my twin sister and I have been through enough and it is time to step up and see if there is anyway.. we can recieve help so we may better our lives in some way..

    My biological father left when my sister and I were 3 years old I believe... before that he wasn't much help with my mother to begin with.. After 18 years I finally met him in November..through my grandfather who we found on the internet.. being new in my faith I understood that forgiveness is the best way to go and maybe we can start over.. So my sister and I allowed him back into our lives..I wasn't really planning on having a closer relationship then just talking on the phone but my sister came into my work with him one day to see him and was very happy because he offered to help her get out of her horrible debt she was in.. I was also happy to see her finally able to see through all this mess and that someone was helping her.. because shes so young and I don't like seeing her have to go through all these problems over and over again and not be able to follow her dreams.. I do understand that everyone should take responsibilty for there own actions but she is literally unable to afford to eat she owes everyone including family members and they dont give her room to breathe once the pay check comes.. but I do love my family very much.. anyway back to the point.. After that day we started hanging out more and he'd help her some here and there and then he promised to help her get into college.. After a while hanging out with him i started to feel little anxious.. (at the time I was just recovering from depression due to be overwhelmed by sschool, work, and finding my plan in life ) I felt overwhelmed by the new meeting and how to fit him into my life.. he had alot of problems but problems he wasnt willing to confront only to feeed into them.. I myself have similar problems anxiety disorder, anxiety, add and other symptoms but I want to try to work them out.. anyway his depression and the way he used it with us was hard on us and the way he made life sound..

    My anxiety started to get really bad ... especially when i was around him..Finally it got so bad I wouldnt leave the house.. Believeing that this whole relationship would work out I expected him to be comforting and check up on me.. but his advice did not help either he only talked about himself and his problems... I did appreciate him trying though.. until our brithday came.. the day after he stopped calling.. then a month later contacted us like nothing had happened.. by that time I was even more upset... that he could leave in a situation like I was in.. but I was also a little relieved that I didnt have to be around the kind of negative vibes he was giving.. I felt so bad for my sister because he left her hanging and was no longer able to attend college.. because of the bills she still had to pay off and was unable to afford on her own the classes..

    After a month or two I contacted him asking him if he could help me get back on my feet as I need a new ID and birth certificate so I could get a job.. (my mother was already struggling with money so the extra cash wasn;t available at the time) .. I was recently signed with an agency that happened to be fake .. and someone was willing to help in the situation as long as my father sent me the papers I needed for proof .. so he promised to send the money and the papers .. had my hopes up and never sent any of it.. and even had the nerve to tell me he did when it never arrived..

    after that he never talked to me again.. he just explained in his last email that he was always ill..

    the summer went by and I stopped worying about him because I wanted to get my life straight on my own.. and help my sister some how.. then my mother gets a letter in the mail for a court date on reinforcing back child support.. she didnt want to go.. so after the hearing we got a letter saying he only agreed to pay $100 a month for both of us.. its ok for me cause I dont need it but my mother does..

    Anyway well .. I also now found out that he lied to us this whole time.. he did horrible things to hurt my mother when we were little.. even left us without any food .. while he was in Las Vegas my mother had give all the food she had left and she only had a can of soup.. she says today she still remembers the nasty taste of it... He even emancipated us when we were younger so he didn't have to take care of us.. so he only owes the back child support before that.. and doesnt even pay it..

    I just contacted him in hopes to work this out as my sister has dreamed her whole life to be a singer.. and shes amazing.. I just thought maybe he will come through..knowing how important singiong was to her.. I contact him and aksed if he could help her get to american Idol.. but never recieved a response.. I have asked him a couple times to help me to get into a college class and no response.. he just ignores us.. and people tell us it is not worth my time and I shouldn't worry about it..

    But it bothers me because my sister and I have been through too much already and I feel I shouldn't allow him to get away with this anymore..

    he recieves disability checks through the military because he says he mentally disabled but the military says he is nt permenantly but he still gets two checks a month.. and spends it on race cars which he said he puts in his brothers name so no one will find out he spending government money on them...

    There is so much more to this story.. that I have not included.. other serious issues which I am afraid he could find this on here so I will not include them..

    I have heard something about someone suing someon for emotional distress? I do not like to sue people but I am seriously upset over him and the last thing i want is for him to go on in life again without one of us taking a stand..

    This is really upsetting.. I do not trust any man except for my grandfather who passed away not too long ago.. I dont understand why he had to do that to my mother and my sister and I .. me and my sister didnt deserve that when we were younger and we dont now..

    Please someone give me some kind of advice..

    My mother is now out of work because of her leg problems with diabetes I believe and I am helping her at home right now.. until she gets better.. so working to save money for school is a problem right now.. I think he should be made to help my sister and I somehow..

    I am also still having problems leaving the house with my anxiety.. I feel I cant trust anyone...

    Any advice you can give me please!! I dont know much abotu the law so please feel free to say anything..

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Behind a Desk

    Default Emotional Distress from Parental Abandonment

    This is not the type of emotional distress that is likely to support a tort action.

    I think you need to reconcile yourself to the fact that your father doesn't want to be part of your life (or that of your sister), will not be providing any emotional or financial support, and will not be responding to your attempts to contact him. That way you can stop being disappointed, and if he does later change his mind it can be a pleasant surprise.

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