My boyfriend and I have been together since his daughter was 3 months old; she's going to be 3 in 4 months now. Her mother put a TRO on him once when the baby was 8 months old and we didn't see her for 3 months before their court date, then custody and visitation was established (3 days a week and she lives with mom) and things smoothed over.
Well, she lost her job 5 weeks ago. She is on Welfare and now asking us for child support. Since she lost her job, she has been hounding us to take her overnight more often. So we had her overnight on wednesday because mom had surgery thursday morning. She calls us in the middle of thursday afternoon demanding we take her overnight again because she is drugged up. We are supposed to go to work in 2 hours, so we tell her we can't, but we ended up cancelling work because she wouldn't let it go. Then, an hour after we tell her we just called sick to work so we could watch the baby, she calls to say "just take her to my moms". So a fight starts about how we just called off work to take care of her and now that we're off, we're keeping her overnight.
Long story short, my boyfriend drops off his daughter to her mother and she starts scremaing at him about taking him to court. We don't want to lose her, but we're not sure what we can do. The last time she took the baby away, he was dropping off food, formula, and diapers and she started screaming at him and threw an ashtray at him while he was holding their daughter, then bit him multiple times and SHE got the restraining order against him claiming HE was the voilent one!
She's been institutionalized in a mental hospital for the criminally insane before, there's been signs of neglect towards the baby off and on, and we just want to be her primary caregivers (At least we bathe her daily). What can we do and how do we do it? We're in the San bernardino county area of California where apparently having a sheriff's deputy who is your father's drinking buddy means you can attack your child's father, then claim he attacked you (SCRATCH FREE!) despite what other witnesses have to say.
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