I'll try not to drag this out any longer then needed, but please bare with me.

15 years ago, my girlfriend at the time and I had a little girl together. When my daughter was born, I didn't even hear about it until after the fact. Her mother and I had been feuding about who would be allowed to be in the delivery room, as we both wanted to be in there. It turns out that I got a call at around 3:15am from her mother, telling me that they were at the hospital and our daughter had been born.

Basically, we ended up seperating and she met someone else and ended up marrying this person. I tried to reconcile, but to no avail. I was so traumatized and hurt that I just disappeared from their lives. I never got a chance to bond with our daughter as I never got to spend alone time with her or do anything with her without her mom with me.

My question is this, now after 15 years, she wants to take me to court to have the birth certificate changed, with me added as the father and for me to pay child support from now until our daughter is finished with college. I found out her lawyer wants to nail me to the wall and get all the back child support, even though she says she does not want that to be done.

She swore to me she would NEVER take me to court for support, as the man she married makes good money and takes good care of them. Due to my income, I cannot afford the 20% that Illinois allows to be paid for one child. I offered to give her $300 a month until I can get my finances under control.

Questions:

Do we absolutely NEED to go to court to change the birth certificate? (It means alot to me to have my name on it.)

Just because my name is added to the cert, does that mean I HAVE to pay what the state decides, if my ex and I are set with our own plan?

Will a paternity test be mandatory? I do think I'm her dad, but I would like to see it on paper as a proven fact.

I have a thread of a relationship with my daughter, she doesn't call me dad, and in fact, she is quite mean to me, which I can pretty much understand, I guess. But in my opinion, I was pushed out of her life and never allowed to be acknowledged as part of her life. Now 15 years later, all of a sudden, her mom wants to nail me.

I'm just heartbroken that after 15 years, and her mom excluding me from so much in her life, that now she wants to nail me, when she never agree'd to allow me into her life before.

It feels like a last ditch effort to get money out of me before our daughter gets too old.

I'm scared because I don't make enough to cover the cost of the support the state would require and her lawyer is pressuring her into burying me.

Any help would be GREATLY appreciated.