What Are My Rights As The Mother of an Unborn Child

[panther10758]

He has the legal right to challange the name. If tables were turned would you not pull out all the stops?

[jk]

He has the legal right to challange the name. If tables were turned would you not pull out all the stops?

Until paternity is established, he is nothing to the child and the mother has the right to name the child Albert Einstein if she wants as she has total control over the naming of (at the moment), only her child.

Dad can whoop and hollar in court after he establishes paternity but his chances of changing the name are very slim.

[moburkes]

Until paternity is established, he is nothing to the child and the mother has the right to name the child Albert Einstein if she wants as she has total control over the naming of (at the moment), only her child.

Dad can whoop and hollar in court after he establishes paternity but his chances of changing the name are very slim.

I think he gets that - which is why he used the word challenge.

[panther10758]

I felt no need to state that as it was already discussed earlier in this thread so yes moburkes you are correct and thats why I used the word challange. If you see second post in this thread custody in mentioned by poster without mention of paternity establishment. Had that been my post then yes it would be premature of me to suggest what I did, however as stated establishing paternity was already mentioned so I felt no need to restate it when I made my post. I hope that clears this up

[jojo4]

You should know there is more to it than that Mo. There is a bonding with breastfeeding that cannot be replaced. I would hope a court would see it as more than simply a feeding.

I can tell you a close friend of mine was given only 6 hours on Sat and 6 hours on Sunday for visitation (no overnight) with his very young son for this exact reason.

Bonding time with the father is just as important. Daddy is just as capable of giving the child a bottle of breast milk (or formula) as Momma is of nursing the child. Just cuddle the baby close and make frequent eye contact. Works every time.

You friend had a very old fashioned judge. He got shafted.

[panther10758]

Bonding time with the father is just as important. Daddy is just as capable of giving the child a bottle of breast milk (or formula) as Momma is of nursing the child. Just cuddle the baby close and make frequent eye contact. Works every time.

You friend had a very old fashioned judge. He got shafted.

I couldnt agree more. Exmaple when my daughter was born it was very clear she was a "Daddy's girl" this was even more proven during breasts feeding. When being breast fed if I wa sin room and she could not see me she would not eat until she was positioned or I moved so she could see me. At about 5 months old she figured out that Dad could feed her a bottle (when Mom was away) once she figured that out she had no use for the breast. so yes bonding with both parents is important not just one!

[Lovingmommy84]

Bonding time with the father is just as important. Daddy is just as capable of giving the child a bottle of breast milk (or formula) as Momma is of nursing the child. Just cuddle the baby close and make frequent eye contact. Works every time.

You friend had a very old fashioned judge. He got shafted.

This isn't the type of guy who is concerned about bonding. The only thing he is concerned about is like I mentioned before, bragging rights. It has nothing to do with the actual child herself.

On the other hand...I offered him the oportunity of hyphenating the name. Give her both of our names. All he can say is that her having his name is really important to him, I just don't understand. And he wants to do what is best for the baby. I told him that I do understand, her having my name is really important to me as well, which is why I thought he would agree to this, this way she gets his last name too, otherwise she just gets mine. And I asked him how exactly he thinks her having his name is in her best interest? I told him to think about it some more and get back to me. Either way she will have my name. I gave him the chance to add his too, he is just throwing a tantrum because he's not getting exactly what he wants.

[jojo4]

This isn't the type of guy who is concerned about bonding. The only thing he is concerned about is like I mentioned before, bragging rights. It has nothing to do with the actual child herself.

Once paternity is established, the court will really only care about making sure that the father has ample opportunity to have a relationship with his child, and vice versa. If bragging rights makes him feel like a great father, then okay. He will (and should) have the legal right to have a relationship with his child AND the responsibility to help support that child.

On the other hand...I offered him the oportunity of hyphenating the name. Give her both of our names. All he can say is that her having his name is really important to him, I just don't understand. And he wants to do what is best for the baby. I told him that I do understand, her having my name is really important to me as well, which is why I thought he would agree to this, this way she gets his last name too, otherwise she just gets mine. And I asked him how exactly he thinks her having his name is in her best interest? I told him to think about it some more and get back to me. Either way she will have my name. I gave him the chance to add his too, he is just throwing a tantrum because he's not getting exactly what he wants.

Believe it or not, this is one of the more minor issues, as far as any future litigation goes. I know it is important to you (I really do get that) and it looms large. As you have been told, you have the legal right to name the child. Once paternity is established, he will have the legal right to ask the court to change the name. You don't need his permission to name the child anything. If you are willing to hyphenate the name, then go ahead and do so. If this gets to court, he's going to have a much slimmer chance of getting a court to order any name change, as HIS last name is already legally recorded and matches the child's last name.

[Lovingmommy84]

Believe it or not, this is one of the more minor issues, as far as any future litigation goes. I know it is important to you (I really do get that) and it looms large. As you have been told, you have the legal right to name the child. Once paternity is established, he will have the legal right to ask the court to change the name. You don't need his permission to name the child anything. If you are willing to hyphenate the name, then go ahead and do so. If this gets to court, he's going to have a much slimmer chance of getting a court to order any name change, as HIS last name is already legally recorded and matches the child's last name.

So you're saying that if I hyphenate the name whether he agrees to it or not, when he tries to throw a fit about her not having just his name, they will not see the problem at all?

He wrote back and is not willing to have it hyphenated. He said if he can't give her just his last name then he will take me to court. He said that he is not going to take me to court to change the name, just to get as much as he can, and according to the person I talked to today, that will not be much. He will first have to take me to court to prove paternity, and then we will go from there. That is his choice, I gave him the opportunity to settle and to have the chance to have his name on the BC, but he won't take it. So she will have my name. End of story.

[BelieverChristina]

I am writing to you as a loving mother experiencing a lot of the same feelings you are. I understand it is hard to imagine him having equal rights, but UNequal devotion. I have received responses to my situation that are hard to swallow, but I needed to hear them.

It's hard to trust a legal system with the very livelyhood of your children, but you have to believe that there is something greater at work.
I don't know if you are a spiritual person, and I hope I don't offend you-or anyone else for that matter, but I will keep you in prayer. Please keep me in yours.