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  1. #1

    Default Grandparents Suing for Increased Visitation

    I've been on the recieving end of an increased grandparent visitation lawsuit in Alabama for the last year. It was brought on by my daughter's paternal grandmother and her husband (not my child's biological grandfather, but he's been married to the grandmother for over 25 years)This is a tough case because my child's father died in 2002 when she was just 13 months old. He was drunk driving and hit a tree. Nobody else was involved.

    Anyway, I feel pretty confident that the grandmother has NO case since Alabama's grandparent statue (as my attorney interprets it) says that if a parent is seen as fit, the decisions--including Gparent vis-- are at the descression of the fit parent and are presumed to be in the child's best interest. There is not a single chance on earth that she can make me out to be an unfit mother and, in fact during depostion, after repeatedly dodging the question finally stated that i wasn't unfit. I am working on my second college degree and my child is absolutely excelling in school not to mention she is a bright, loving, and an absolutely hilarious child.

    The first couple of years of my child's life, I was young and stupid and sadly left her with both sets of grandparents just about every weekend to go to bars with my friends. I was home with her every night during the week, at least. I was also a college student at the time and relied on them for my child's daily care since I had class and could not afford daycare. She spent a couple of days a week with each grandmother and then probably 2-3 weekend nights a month with each set of grandparents. I graduated from school, got a real job, and began living the life of an adult. The immature behavior has been over for more than 3 years now, but she wants visitation restored to that quantity of time. My parents fully understand that I have grown up and are happy for the relationship I have with my daughter which is so amazing. His parents however have told my mother "We don't want her to get better, we just want the baby". Supposedly, my mother has this on tape because my father (having known the grandmother since highschool) was always afraid this would happen.

    I have not stopped her visitation with my daughter and have never attempted to do so. I have simply cut back on the time she spends with them because I truly feel they have a negative affect on her. You wouldn't believe the behaviors she exhibited after long visits with them. I don't let her spend the night with them because some things have happened to make me feel like extended visits with her grandmother is NOT in her best interest. Besides, we live in the same town and frankly, overnight visitation is unnecessary. The grandmother is obsessed with having her overnight. It's become this crusade or something. The grandmother is a very conrolling, abrasive woman, who may or may not be crazy. My attorney has ordered a psych. eval just in case. She is a loose cannon. She takes at least 2 medications for depression that according to her depostion, she tried to get off of but had to start taking again. She may have a problem with alcohol and has already gotten one DUI. Apparently she likes to drive her car around country roads whilie drinking. Her son told me once that she got into it with a woman he was dating...and the mother got in the car and drove to the woman's house with a gun all because the girlfriend called her a b***h! She joked to my parents' church group that she told a client at her business she was going to kill him like it was this big funny event. She's used to getting her way because she gets nasty with anyone who crosses her, but I refuse to back down to her and she hates me for it. That is why we're where we are. She wants her way and I'm standing in the way of what she wants...my daughter.

    She's repeatedly put my daughter in situations that are potentially physically dangerous (nothing like pulling up and seeing your 6 month old on a horse!) even after repeatedly asking and flat out telling her not to do so. My requests were belittled and responded to with "Aww, nothing's gonna happen to her" and was told I was being over sensitive. She badgered and controlled her own children to the point that one of them is dead. Drunk driving was just immediate cause, but there was so much more to it. I've seen her exhibit this same behavior towards my daughter and I refuse to let her become like her father and his brothers.

    Visitation has been up and down. They would raise her if I would let them. For a while they had her asking when she was going to live with them. Something I never even contemplated. My child was never going to live with anyone but me. At the time of my ex's death, I wasn't allowing my daughter to spend the night with his parents. After his death, I felt sorry for them and let her go again to make them feel better. As it stands, the visitation I give them is every other weekend while I'm at the hospital working the 7a-3p shift. If family comes in town, I almost always let her go and spend the day, up until bedtime with them. Just last week, I let her go to the grandmother's birthday dinner on a school night. In her lawsuit requestion "Increased Grandparent Visitation" she asked for: At least one weekend a month from Friday after school until Sunday night, 2 weeks during the summer, 5 days during christmas vacation, any holidays the court will grant, and they filed an injunction to bar me from ever being able to permanently remove my daughter from the court's jurisdiction. At least my attorney got the last one thrown out. This woman clearly wants her son's parental rights. She even stated in her depostion that they felt they were my daughter's surrogate father.

    So far, we've given depositions and based on the lack of evidence to support her claim (and after repeatedly dodging the question of my parental fitness with stories of how great she is, finally stating during depostion that I am not an unfit parent) my attorney filed a motion for summary judgement in June. We had a "hearing" on June 19 which turned out to be the judge meeting with counsel in his chambers for an hour while we sat in an empty courtroom and waited. The judge told our attorneys that he would not be putting this to the side of his desk and that he was very interested in the case. It is now November 1st and we STILL do not have a ruling! I am in x-ray school and will be graduating in May and hopefully moving out west at the end of next summer. If the judge rules in our favor, can she appeal that decision and take it trial? If so, how easy is it for her to have his decision overturned? If the case goes to trial is there any way this woman can get overnight visitation with my child and if for some reason she is granted overnight visitation and I get a job in say, Colorado, do I have to honor that visitation from across the country?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Grandparents Suing for Increased Visitation

    The losing party in a court case may appeal. Appeals are generally hard to win, although any evaluation of the prospects of an appeal must be performed on a case-by-case basis.

    If you move to another state, whether or not the current petition is granted, you would probably want to have the order modified to reflect the new realities of your situation.

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