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  1. #1

    Default Help Obtaining a California Divorce

    My husband and I have been married since 1/2000. I told him a few months back I wanted a divorce and he said ok, but asked that he be able to stay in the house untill he got his own place. I said ok. as long as he wasnt violent. Instead he got creepy and would curl up crying in a ball on the floor in the mornings, and was just really depressed. I eventually stopped talking about a divorce, and now he is talking about plans for the future. I dont want to fight with him, so i am keeping my mouth shut, I still want a divorce. I have turned the papers into the facilitator in our county, but I havent heard back from them. How long do i wait to have him served, and should i get a restraining order? I know its final after 6 months, but does he have to sign the papers or is california an uncontested state? we also have 3 kids aged 3-9. but he has been in prison 60% of there lives. I dont know how to do this so any help would be great. He scares me.

  2. #2
    panther10758 Guest

    Default Re: Need Help in obtaining a California Divorce

    Its my belief the service is arranged my "you" not facilitator. during my CA divroce I used the county Facilitator as well but the serving of my then wife was my place. You might check on this. Hiring a process server to serve your hubby is not very expensive

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    California
    Posts
    64

    Default Re: Help Obtaining a California Divorce

    OK Mrs C

    I am in CA.

    1. Get your husband into therapy before filing anything. Depressed men sometimes do crazy things. Therapy will help get him more stabilized and able to handle a divorce.

    2. Get therapy for you. You need to be able to handle his emotions which are very up and down right now. Also you need to be supportive of your children and therapy will help you prepare yourself and them for an eventual divorce.

    3. Doing an uncontested divorce is for people who have few assets and no children. Although he initially agreed to it, I think he would regret just agreeing to everything you wanted and a summary dissolution can be stopped at any time by one party. There are some good books out there to help do it yourselfers get divorce. Check iut your local bookstore under Law.

    4. Whatever type of dissolution you choose, you must file the paperwork at the court yourself or have an attorney do it. Then you must have your husband served the papers by someone who is not a party to the divorce. This means a process server, friend or sheriff. Don't use a family member - it's very rude. If he agrees to everything, you write up a marital settlement agreement and parenting plan that you both sign and submit to the court. If everything is signed and there are no agreements, the judge signs the order and 6 months after the Motion was files, you are divorced.

    5. Contested divorces - these can take a long time depending on how much money people have and are willing to spend to have a fight. Don't make it unfriendly. You can still be civil and a friend to your Ex.

    Bird Brain

  4. #4

    Question Re: Help Obtaining a California Divorce

    ok i have barely any money, he has a lot. He has recieved countless inheritances during our 10 yrs, but we have always kept finances separate. I dont want his. Pretty much the last 5 yrs has been a mine is mine his is his thing. We share no titles. we live separatly, i have put all his things in storage for him, he still stays constantly which i HATE. Right now we carpool to school together which is a 53 minute drive. I hate that too. I am going to be putting my schooling off for a semester or two so that we dont have to deal with eachother after he realizes once again what my intentions are. whatever he wants he gets. i will not fight him, except on the matter of my kids. I have had them and raised them 99.9% of the time, and his sister had them the other .1% never him. he is a pc290 registrant so i do not believe he will even be able to obtain custody if he tries. hmm... anyone know about that? pc 290 in cali on sexual battery charges? I am in counseling and have been for 8 years. She gave me the small amount of courage i have right now. he has been in prison for the past 2 years, is in recovery from 8 yrs of meth. we are only 27. As long as he remains clean sober and civil he can have unlimited visiting with the kids. I will not punish them for our problems. my oldest 2 are pushing for a divorce. my 9 yr old is also in counseling because of his father issues. he claims to hate him. so i think california says kids cant choose if they are under 13... based on his criminal history he doesnt have much of a chance right? money doesnt buy children around here does it? I have never been in jail, i dont drink or smoke, or do drugs. I am a strong believer in Karma and teach my kids the same. I am scared. Sorry this is so long

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