It depends on your definition of "reasonable". Why do you think it's ok for him to physically pick you up and remove you from a room? (Not to mention threatening to kill you - alcohol doesn't CAUSE that, you know.)

You are correct that you cannot drop the charges. When you file a police report or make a complaint, you are only a witness. The DAs office brings and pursues charges.

There may or may not be a no contact order. In some courts they are handed out like candy, while in others the victim (that's YOU) must request one. You can simply not request one and hope for the best.