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  1. #1

    Question Abandonment In Michigan

    I keep seeming to run into roadblocks with the problem I'm having. I keep asking people (i.e. sherriff, prosecuting attorney, d.h.s.) and they keep telling me to ask someone else bc they have no idea what to do, so I'm resorting to this and maybe I can get pointed in the right direction.

    My daughter who is now 5 yrs old has not heard from her biological father in 1 yr 9 mo. she has not seen him in about 2 1/2 yrs. (and neither have i). He has however ran into my family several times in public but has never mentioned our daughter to them in anyway.

    He and I were never married though his name is on the birth certificate and she has his last name. But he never supported her. During part of the time that I was pregnant with her and then for a couple months after he and I and then our daughter lived with his mother. During that time he did work, but he never supported me nor the baby anyway as far as (groceries, formula, diapers) though he did have his mother pay for a couple of the dr. bills from the delivery. My mother brought over groceries, formula, and diapers every 2 wks.

    He and I did move into an apt. shortly there after. And he continued to work, but did not pay any of the bills. My family did. And my family supplied us with groceries. He was hardly ever home. He had our only vehicle and only phone (a cell phone) that I was not allowed to use. After a few months I got tired of it and told him that I would get a job (after he got fired and would not get another job) and he could stay home with the baby.

    After leaving him with our daughter everyday while I worked (for the first 2 wks) I started to notice that he was only feeding her pancakes once a day and was not changing diapers at all. And most of the time he would leave her alone while he was shut in his bedroom playing video games. So I sent her to stay with my mother until I could get some money saved up and take care of her on my own.

    I eventually moved in with my mother and just lived with her while I worked and took care of my daughter. I provided him every opportunity to come visit with her or to take her with him for a few hours.
    After moving out, for nearly a year and a half he never provided me with any type of financial support for her, nor did he even bother to buy her diapers.

    When he would come to get her he would show up SEVERAL hours late (without calling to let me know he would be late) to pick her up and then he'd bring her home early, or sometimes late, or sometimes he'd pick her up and leave her with his family while he went off to do whatever he wanted. But most days he'd say he'd come and then just not show up.

    When I got the opportunity to move to Maine. He asked if he could keep her until I found a place to stay and a job. I allowed him to, but when it came time for him to give her back to me, he said he would not until I paid him $200 a month for the time he had her (a month).

    So here I am now living in Michigan with my Husband. Who has taken over responsibilty of my daughter. He's provides for her the way a father should, financially, phsyically, and emotionally. As I said we have not heard from my daughter's father in almost 2 yrs. I am getting sick of it after all this time and the opportunities we've provided him with.

    Part of the problem is. He has never taken responsibility for her unless his family nagged at him repeatedly until they were blue in the face (which would be when he'd pick her up and then leave her with his family). So if I were to just file for him to hand his rights over (he would) until his family got ahold of him and then we'd be right back in the situation we were in before. Them kicking him in the butt to do something, and him not even half-assly doing it and then him handing his responsibility over to them.

    I am wanting to file abandonment but am not sure of the process in Mi. and where I need to go to get it done. So we can move on with our lives.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,906

    Default Re: Abandonment In Michigan

    The current situation is what? He has her, and you don't want to pay $200 per month? You paid that money a couple of years ago and he hasn't seen her since? Something else?

  3. #3

    Default Re: Abandonment In Michigan

    The situation is that We have her. We've always had her except for the one month that he did. He gave her back to me after that intial huge fight bc he knew he couldn't withhold her from me until he got money that he wanted. I had never agreed to give him money. And his attorney told him he couldn't keep her from me bc I am her legal guardian.

    My issue is. I want to file for abandonment in Mi.
    Where do I need to go and what do they usually require you to do?

    He on his own free will has not attempted to see her nor talk to her. His mother has even told me that bc he doesn't want to have to take responsibility for her.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    MN
    Posts
    8

    Default Re: Abandonment In Michigan

    What do you think that would get you? Except dishing money out for lawyer fees and whatever else. If your husband is there for her like you say, have him adopt her, the money would be spent more in a positive way. Doesn't sound like her father would cause issues. Get over the fact he's a loser and move on, your daughter doesn't need the stress and aggravation of you fretting over this. Let you husband be the father she needs.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Abandonment In Michigan

    thanks for your input. we've talked to a lawyer and we'll be hiring him for the adoption.

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