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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    3

    Angry Name Change in Providence, Rhode Island

    My daughter is about to be 4 months old. The day she was born, her biological father was there and he did sign the birth certificate but we are not married. She also has his last name. At the time...we were still trying to work on being together but now...things are over between us. I realize that he is never going to change. He didn't have good credit before so he asked me to open up a credit card for some guitar place and he purchased a 700$ guitar. The payment is due this december and I know he isn't going to help me with it. And since the baby's been born...he hasn't even bought a single diaper or formula for her. When I ask him for money...which it won't even be able to go to the baby right now cuz of his stupid guitar...he keeps saying he doesn't have any. He is so stubborn and selfish. I really just don't want to deal with him anymore. I don't want him on child support. HE doesn't want to be on child support. He doesn't help me with our daughter. My mom is basically supporting her because I am currently not working and is still in school. I have little money saved up and it's all going to my baby...and now I'm struggling to find money for his guitar.. it's just not fair. I don't think he should have any rights over her and I would like to take his name off the birth certificate and change her last name to my maiden name. Is that possible without his consent?

    The only time he's called me after I broke it off with him is to try and get back together with me. And twice he has stopped by unexpectedly to visit our daughter but for only 15 minutes or less. PLEASE help me change her last name. I don't want him to have any legal rights over her. He is not a fit father. He is too selfish. If anything were to happen to me...my mom should have guardian-ship over her not him. He is her biological father but he has done NOTHING for her. My mom had a piggy bank saved up in my room for her and last time he came...he asked to borrow 20$. I didn't have it so he asked to take it from there. I said ok but he BETTER put 20 back in there the next time he comes but now all I hear is...I have no money. I'm really sick of this. I'm such an idiot. Please help me any way that you can.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    2,031

    Default Re: Name change in Providence, Rhode Island

    The child having his last name is NOT what gives him rights...The fact that he is her parent is what gives him rights!!

    Go to court and file for support. He is not obligated to give you money without a court order. Get one.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Name Change in Providence, Rhode Island

    I don't want any money from him. I rather just take care of it myself. I just don't want him to have anything to do with her because he doesn't do anything for her willingly anyways. I want to change her last name as well but he won't come sign the papers.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    541

    Default Re: Name Change in Providence, Rhode Island

    Quote Quoting Sreynya
    View Post
    I don't want any money from him. I rather just take care of it myself. I just don't want him to have anything to do with her because he doesn't do anything for her willingly anyways. I want to change her last name as well but he won't come sign the papers.
    So, by your choice, he is not legally obligated to support his child. That's your choice.

    It his legal right to refuse to sing the papers to remove or change his last name from the child's.

    As sharing a name doesn't make him the father, removing his name doesn't erase the fact that he is the father.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    TN
    Posts
    699

    Default Re: Name Change in Providence, Rhode Island

    Quote Quoting Sreynya
    View Post
    I don't want any money from him. I rather just take care of it myself.Since you do not work, you are not taking care of it, your mother is. I just don't want him to have anything to do with her because he doesn't do anything for her willingly anyways.Changing her last name won't change the fact that if he goes to court, he can and more than likely will get some sort of custody/visitation. I want to change her last name as well but he won't come sign the papers.
    You won't be able to change the last name, nor will you be able to take away his rights. If you are struggling to make ends meet now, go ahead and file for support as well as get a job yourself.

    Your mother is not responsible for caring for your child, you and her father are.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    3

    Default Re: Name Change in Providence, Rhode Island

    My mother helps with buying things for her here and there but so far..I've had some money saved up and that's what I been using. I'm going to school right now but I am looking for a job. ANY job just to help me save for paying off all this crap little by little. HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE ON CHILD SUPPORT. He can't afford to be on child support and we're already on each other's bad side so I don't want to force it. I don't trust him with our daughter. I doubt he'll take me to court for any custody rights because he knows he hasn't done much for her.

    All I'm saying is that I would like to change her last name to mine. The rest I'll deal with later. If I can't do it now without his consent. I heard about the step-parent adoption thing. Would I be able to do that later without his consent when I'm married to someone else?

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    541

    Default Re: Name Change in Providence, Rhode Island

    All I'm saying is that I would like to change her last name to mine. The rest I'll deal with later. If I can't do it now without his consent. I heard about the step-parent adoption thing. Would I be able to do that later without his consent when I'm married to someone else?
    No.

    He is the father. Whether he ever is granted custody/visitation rights or not, anything you try to do to remove him as the father from the child's life will have to have his consent. (unless you want to start a very long, expensive, and potentially unsuccessful court battle to have his rights terminated by a court of law).

    In short, you chose to have a baby with this man. He is the father and will remain so.

    Just another view point on the child support. It is the CHILD'S right to be supported by both parents. It doesn't matter if wants to support her or not.

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