Recently my Ukrainain wife had decided to take up "past communications" with her ex-husband from Ukraine. She was married before in her home country of Ukraine, but as I had learned, after two years of marriage, it went bad and she decided to divorce him - even going as far as to have her last name changed back to her maiden name. She told me, before we were married, that she divorced him due to physical abuse, he changed his mind about wanting children, and apparently he enjoyed having "intimate relations" with his mother...if you understand me. After four years of bad communcications, marital counceling, church discussions, I think I'm realizing now that she really only married me to either: A - make the ex very jealous and take her back, B - get into this country, start a better life and eventually have him come here once she becomes a citizen, taking everything possible from me and begin a new life with him, with C - the intimate-thing may or may not have ever happened...but recent communications between the two of them, over the internet, (and I have very spicy documented proof of the communications going back and forth), have lead me to believe that the past four years of bad communication between the two of us, lack of intimacy between us, and all around a very bad marriage was because I was just being used until the ex straightened himself out.
What I need to know is this: she's nine months away from having the opportunity of filing her citizenship papers. Presently we live and sleep in separate bedrooms. NJ does not (anymore) recognize separations...you can file for irreconcible differences (sp?) and be done with a marriage in NJ nicely. My problem is, "I swore to the INS and to my country that this woman was honest, up front, and truthful." She's not being honest and truthful and my marriage has never really been a marriage at all. I have documented proof (printouts of chat conversations, e-mails, phone calls, everything) possibly required to prove without-a-doubt that I have been shammed. I CAN'T AFFORD to support her for the next five years if I divorce her right now. I've been told that if I divorce her now, before her citizenship, that's what I would have to do. Is there any way I can get out of this marital mess, without having to support her, with the proof I have? Does anyone have any knowledge to this situation? I am in NJ...

