Domestic Battery

[bggsm03]

Kansas

Wednesday night my friend had come over and had told me that my wife was out talking to some guys outside of her car. Before I cut to the chase... it has been in his interest to go ahead and try to convince us to divorce. He has done so by calling SRS and making a false claim, telling us we need to get divorced, disrespecting her wishes and coming over to my house knowing it is going to cause her to fight with me. Doing immature things knowing it is going to fall back on me... granted it is her fault for getting mad... but he does multiple things in an attempt to make her mad at me, which is his ultimate goal.

Anyways, he let me know this information and she came home. Well, she came home and we started fighting. I walked out of the bed room and witnessed him trying to record our arguement to send to the SRS or police just to justify his claim. He is attemping to make us so emotionally upset that we just divorce to avoid conflict. I would put a restraining order on him, but have heard that I can not get one because he is not married to me nor is he living with me.

Anyways, we got into an argument and I had punched the wall but there was little to no apparent damages. I believe maybe just a small indention in the wall, didn't crack the paint or nothing. I may of pushed her as well, but I do not recall. I never struck her or left any bruises or marks on her. I have been charged with DV Damage to Property before but had it amended to disorderly conduct in a different county. Another thing that happened was I spit and it landed on her foot. Being agitated already, she flipped... even though this was not my intention and my friend had called the cops. He was the only one that made a statement saying I pushed her, hit her, spit AT her, not on, and we were just really verbally abusive. Well.. my wife had called in between my friend calling and the cops ariving to let them know that everything is fine, that I was not harming her or beating on her but they were going to come just to make sure we were safe. Well, I went through and spoke and gave them my side of the story and was arrested for DV Battery. Bonded out and went home and consulted an attorney. I have also paid for and enrolled in Anger/DV classes and plan on getting marriage counseling as well... (this is on my own free will). I also have a job that relies on where this case goes as far as person misdemeanors go. I am the sole provider of my household. They did not take pictures of her and they also just came into my house without asking her permission or mine. They say it's because of safety reasons, which I do not believe, because at the time they went into the house, I was already in the cop car... so there was no immediate danger. I have a NCO and will not be able to talk to her (only through 3rd party I can). That is it. Do I have a case that may be able to get this person misdemeanor dropped or reduced? At least reduced is what I care for. Perhaps unsupervised probation? I do not know. I have also taken a diversion before for wreckless driving about 3-4 years ago and was wondering if maybe I would be eligible for that again.

I asked my lawyer about the possibility of being charged with damage to property and she said that if they did not bring it up at the jail when I booked in and that the only charge was DV battery then chances are the judge is not going to pursue that... (as I do not even believe I did any damage to declare Damage to Property... the wall has a small indentation and that still could have been from anything else). Anyways, should I just consult with my lawyer and give her the receipts for my classes that I enrolled in and then go on. She is trying to get the no contact order lifted, but she says chances are they would not because too many spouses recant and say they want it lifted. She said if I were to go and enroll in these classes it may make her feel a little more comfortable with suggesting the lift of the NCO. As well as help my case due to me being self-serving. Instead of waiting for the judge to say... "well in return for this plea you must do this and attend these classes and that" I went ahead and did it myself without even knowing of any plea agreement made or if any agreement has or will be made. So I hope that helps a little bit. I don't think it makes what I did right, but definitely shows self-responsibility and a sense of initiative.

[Mr. Knowitall]

Given that you have a prior domestic violence conviction, and you are minimizing your responsibility for the current incident ("I may of pushed her as well, but I do not recall" - come on), I would expect the prosecutor to oppose any deal which allowed you to avoid a conviction this time around. Is that about what your lawyer told you?

[bggsm03]

I do not have a prior DV conviction. It was amended to disorderly conduct. I am not worried about getting a conviction - I am worried about getting convicted of a person crime. My job is at stake. My wife never called the cops and never felt threatened. My friend just wanted to do something to try and get her away from me so he can try and hang out. Hell, he's even telling me to just go to court and plead guilty knowing I would lose my job. If that shows how much he cares about me and my kids, then there you go.