I have a 3 year old daughter. When I was 18 and my daughter was 5 monthes old I left her dad because of his ongoing stuggle with alchohol and drug abuse. Unfortunatly I myself came from a broken family and when I decided I wanted to leave him and move out I had no place to go. I have a half brother who let me stay with him for only a week when I got served papers to go into court with her father seeking full emergency custody. Of course being the childs mother I immediatly thought yea right they never take a child away from thier mother unless they are drug users or unfit.....which I am not. So thinking I had nothing to worry about I went to court and to my suprise and her fathers the judge gave temporary custody to her fathers parents (my daughters grandparents). The judges main concern was that I did not have a steady place to live nad that my daughter was very younge. My daughter was only supposed to be with her grandparents for 3 monthes until I got on my feet. Believe me I was devasted and still do not forgive her father for what he did 2 and 1/2 years ago. He knew I was a good mom but he was being spiteful because I left him. Anyways that same day I went to see if i could get into a shelter in order to recieve subsidized housing, unfortunalty because I did not phsycally have custody of my daughter they couldnt help me. It was like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. EVery step I took I felt I was being knocked down. So theres the backround. Now onto where I need the advice and guidence.
I now have a place to live a 2bedroom I go to college and I work fulltime. I would like to get custody of my daughter back. Heres the problem My boyfriend who I share the apartment with has been abusive toward me in the past. My daughters grandparents are aware of it and my daughter is not supposed to be around him. It is not court ordered but I just do it to keep the peace. I know if they find out she is around him they will stop my visitation until they make sure they get it court ordered they are very controlling. What can my boyfriend and I do to show the court that he has changed and is no longer abusive to me. He has finished his anger managment courses. He does have a guily on his record for his abuse to me and I do have an open No abuse order. What steps do the two of us take to get my daughter to be with us. Is it differant if we are married? Should I drop the no abuse order? Is it even possible to go into court and ask them to give me custody back. Everything is perfect....beautiful apartment, good job, education. Is there a way to reverse this negative image my boyfriend created for himself? He has truly changed I am not nieve and I am not blind, I know abusive men hardly change but he has and is changing still. Also if we are married does that mean much differance in this situation??? I really want to be with this man and I want it to work will it ever?